Think your relationship is a failure because you and your partner aren't following certain "rules" or meeting certain standards? Here's the most common but dangerous relationship myths.
MYTH #1: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP DEPENDS ON A GREAT MEETING OF THE MINDS
You will never see things through your partner's eyes because you are two entirely different people. You are genetically, physiologically, psychologically and historically different.
You will not solve your relationship problems by becoming more alike in your thinking. Men and women are wired differently. Attempting to blur your fundamentally different viewpoints is unnatural and even dangerous.
Recognise that a relationship is far more enjoyable when you're with someone who enriches your life, not simply reflects it. Appreciate your differences.
MYTH #2: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP REQUIRES A GREAT ROMANCE
Yes, your life with your partner should include plenty of romance. But don't kid yourself and expect an unrealistic Hollywood fairytale. The truth is that in the real world, being in love is not like falling in love.
Falling in love is only the first stage of love. It's impossible to remain in that stage. A mature relationship will shift from dizzying infatuation to a deeper, more secure love.
Don't make the common mistake of thinking that when the initial wild passion fades you aren't in love anymore. The answer is not to start a new relationship so you can recapture that emotional high with someone else. The answer is to learn how to move on to the next stages of love for a different but richer experience.
MYTH #3: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP REQUIRES GREAT PROBLEM-SOLVING
Don't fall into the trap of believing that you and your partner can't be happy if you can't resolve your serious disagreements. Ninety percent of problems in a relationship are not solvable.
There are things that you and your partner disagree about and will continue to disagree about. Why can't you once and for all resolve these issues? Because in order to do so, one of you would have to sacrifice your values and beliefs.
You can simply agree to disagree and reach "emotional closure" even though you haven't reached closure on the issue.
MYTH #4: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP REQUIRES COMMON INTERESTS THAT BOND YOU TOGETHER FOREVER
There is nothing wrong with your relationship if you don't share common interests and activities.
If you and your partner are forcing yourselves to engage in common activities but the results are stress, tension and conflict, don't do it!
MYTH #5: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP IS A PEACEFUL ONE
Don't be afraid to argue because you think it's a sign of weakness or relationship breakdown. Even the healthiest couples argue.
If approached properly, arguing can actually help the relationship by (a) releasing tension and (b) instilling the sense of peace and trust that comes from knowing you can release feelings without being abandoned or humiliated.
Instead of worrying about how many times you argue, worry about how you argue. Here are some guidelines:
Don't abandon the issue and attack the worth of your partner during an argument.
Don't seek conflict because it's stimulating.
Don't pursue a take-no-prisoners approach in your arguments.
Don't avoid achieving emotional closure at the end of an argument.
MYTH #6: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP LETS YOU VENT ALL YOUR FEELINGS
Getting things off your chest might feel good, but when you blurt something out in the heat of the moment, you risk damaging your relationship permanently. Many relationships are destroyed when one partner can't forgive something that was said during uncensored venting.
Before you say something you might regret, bite your tongue and give yourself a moment to consider how you really feel. The things we say while we're letting loose often don't represent how we really feel and shouldn't be communicated — especially if they are potentially destructive.
MYTH #7: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SEX
The belief that sex is not important is a dangerous and intimacy-eroding myth. Sex provides an important time-out from the pressures of our daily lives and allows us to experience a quality level of closeness, vulnerability and sharing with our partners.
Sex might not be everything but it registers higher (90 percent) on the "importance scale" if it's a source of frustration in your relationship. If your sex life is unfulfilled, it becomes a gigantic issue. On the other hand, couples that have satisfying sex lives rate sex at only 10 percent on the "importance scale."
Don't restrict your thinking by considering sex to be something that only consists of the actual physical act. Touching, caressing, holding hands and any means by which you provide physical comfort to your partner can all be viewed as part of a fulfilling sex life.
MYTH #8: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP CANNOT SURVIVE A FLAWED PARTNER
Nobody's perfect. As long as your partner's quirks are non-abusive and non-destructive, you can learn to live with them.
Instead of focusing on your partner's shortcomings, remember the qualities that attracted you in the first place. Perhaps some of these idiosyncrasies were part of the attraction? Just because a behaviour isn't mainstream, doesn't mean that it's toxic to the relationship.
Be careful to distinguish the difference between a partner with quirks and one with a serious problem. Serious problems that are destructive and abusive include substance abuse and mental/physical abuse. Unlike idiosyncrasies, these are not behaviours you should learn to live with.
MYTH #9: THERE IS A RIGHT WAY AND A WRONG WAY TO MAKE THE RELATIONSHIP GREAT
Nothing could be further from the truth. There is no definitive "right way" to be a good spouse, good parent, or to handle any relationship challenge that life throws you.
Do what works for you rather than following some standards you might have read in a book or heard from a well-meaning friend. If what you and your partner are doing is generating the results you want, stick with it. If both of you are comfortable with the principles that work, you can write your own rules.
Remember not to be rigid about the way in which you accept your partner's expressions of love. There is no "right way" for someone to love you. The fact that your partner expresses feelings differently doesn't make those feelings less genuine or of less value.
MYTH #10: YOUR RELATIONSHIP CAN BECOME GREAT ONLY WHEN YOU STRAIGHTEN YOUR PARTNER OUT
Don't fall into the trap of believing that if you could change your partner, your relationship would be better. You are, at the very least, jointly accountable for the relationship.
Let go of the childlike notion that falling in love means finding someone who will be responsible for your happiness. You need to take responsibility for your own happiness.
If your relationship is distressed, the most important person for you to change might be yourself. Once you identify the payoffs you are subconsciously seeking with destructive behaviour, you can choose to remove them from your life.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Read This Piece, Beautiful!
Love Poems speak about the passion, desire and vulnerability of being in love. When you can share your life with another, the whole world is completely different.
Falling in love may one of the greatest feelings ever. When you are with your lover there is no greater feeling in the world, and when you're not you spend all your time thinking of each other. Falling in love is truly an awesome feeling.
Romantic relationships are the spice of life. They make us feel alive in a way that nothing else can. Genuine romance exists when two individuals show that they care for each other by doing small acts for each other that demonstrate love and affection. It makes us feel loved and cared for when we know that our significant other is thinking about how to give us the most pleasure. Romance is the key to keeping the sparks flying. Without it, any relationship will soon lose its shine.
Falling in love may one of the greatest feelings ever. When you are with your lover there is no greater feeling in the world, and when you're not you spend all your time thinking of each other. Falling in love is truly an awesome feeling.
Romantic relationships are the spice of life. They make us feel alive in a way that nothing else can. Genuine romance exists when two individuals show that they care for each other by doing small acts for each other that demonstrate love and affection. It makes us feel loved and cared for when we know that our significant other is thinking about how to give us the most pleasure. Romance is the key to keeping the sparks flying. Without it, any relationship will soon lose its shine.
What's Meaning Of Love? Read Here:-
There are a few Greek words for love, as the Greek language distinguishes how the word is used. Ancient Greek has four distinct words for love: agápe, éros, philía, and storgē. However, as with other languages, it has been historically difficult to separate the meanings of these words. Nonetheless, the senses in which these words were generally used are given below.
Agápe (ἀγάπη agápē[1]) means "love," such as in the term s'agapo (Σ'αγαπώ), which means "I love you." In Ancient Greek, it often refers to a general affection or deeper sense of "true love" rather than the attraction suggested by "eros." Agape is used in the biblical passage known as the "love chapter," 1 Corinthians 13, and is described there and throughout the New Testament as sacrificial love. Agape is also used in ancient texts to denote feelings for one's children and the feelings for a spouse, and it was also used to refer to a love feast. It can also be described as the feeling of being content or holding one in high regard. Agape was appropriated by Christians for use to express the unconditional love of God.[citation needed]
Éros (ἔρως érōs[2]) is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. The Modern Greek word "erotas" means "intimate love;" however, eros does not have to be sexual in nature. Eros can be interpreted as a love for someone whom you love more than the philia, love of friendship. It can also apply to dating relationships as well as marriage. Plato refined his own definition: Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself. Plato does not talk of physical attraction as a necessary part of love, hence the use of the word platonic to mean, "without physical attraction." In the Symposium, the most famous ancient work on the subject, Plato has the middle-aged Athenian philosopher, Socrates, argue to aristocratic intellectuals and a young male acolyte in sexual pursuit of him, that eros helps the soul recall knowledge of beauty, and contributes to an understanding of spiritual truth, the ideal "Form" of youthful beauty that leads us humans to feel erotic desire -- thus suggesting that even that sensually-based love aspires to the non-corporeal, spiritual plane of existence; that is, finding its truth, just like finding any truth, leads to transcendence. Lovers and philosophers are all inspired to seek truth through the means of eros."
Philia (φιλία philía[3]) means friendship or affectionate love in modern Greek. It is a dispassionate virtuous love, a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity. In ancient texts, philos denoted a general type of love, used for love between family, between friends, a desire or enjoyment of an activity, as well as between lovers.
Storge (στοργή storgē[4]) means "affection" in ancient and modern Greek. It is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring. Rarely used in ancient works, and then almost exclusively as a descriptor of relationships within the family. It is also known to express mere acceptance or putting up with situations, as in "loving" the tyrant.
Agápe (ἀγάπη agápē[1]) means "love," such as in the term s'agapo (Σ'αγαπώ), which means "I love you." In Ancient Greek, it often refers to a general affection or deeper sense of "true love" rather than the attraction suggested by "eros." Agape is used in the biblical passage known as the "love chapter," 1 Corinthians 13, and is described there and throughout the New Testament as sacrificial love. Agape is also used in ancient texts to denote feelings for one's children and the feelings for a spouse, and it was also used to refer to a love feast. It can also be described as the feeling of being content or holding one in high regard. Agape was appropriated by Christians for use to express the unconditional love of God.[citation needed]
Éros (ἔρως érōs[2]) is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. The Modern Greek word "erotas" means "intimate love;" however, eros does not have to be sexual in nature. Eros can be interpreted as a love for someone whom you love more than the philia, love of friendship. It can also apply to dating relationships as well as marriage. Plato refined his own definition: Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself. Plato does not talk of physical attraction as a necessary part of love, hence the use of the word platonic to mean, "without physical attraction." In the Symposium, the most famous ancient work on the subject, Plato has the middle-aged Athenian philosopher, Socrates, argue to aristocratic intellectuals and a young male acolyte in sexual pursuit of him, that eros helps the soul recall knowledge of beauty, and contributes to an understanding of spiritual truth, the ideal "Form" of youthful beauty that leads us humans to feel erotic desire -- thus suggesting that even that sensually-based love aspires to the non-corporeal, spiritual plane of existence; that is, finding its truth, just like finding any truth, leads to transcendence. Lovers and philosophers are all inspired to seek truth through the means of eros."
Philia (φιλία philía[3]) means friendship or affectionate love in modern Greek. It is a dispassionate virtuous love, a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity. In ancient texts, philos denoted a general type of love, used for love between family, between friends, a desire or enjoyment of an activity, as well as between lovers.
OMG! Meet The Snake Boy (Chizoba Michael)
Meet Chizoba Michael, A young and fresh breed in Nollywood. Storming Nollywood and taking over it for Chizoba is "must achieve dream" as he just made history in a short while by being the first male actor to play the role of a snake boy who was safeguarding the little princess (Oge Okoye) and as a snake he bit a lot of people to death for oge okoye's sake in the just concluded Magic movie production.
Speaking to Queenbella Chizoba says the role was very challenging as he had to came in contact with a real and big snake for the first time but all the same had to put in his best to interpret the role as much as he could. Big ups to you man!
Monday, October 29, 2012
How to Love Consciously
Knowing how someone wants to be loved and then providing that love are two separate things. Sometimes marriages and other relationships end because either one person does not understand how to love or meet the needs of the other; or one partner refuses to meet the needs of the other.
The following strategies work best to love intentionally; to love authentically and to love consciously.
Show Appreciation:
A simple “thank you” in response to a trivial or ordinary item can make a significant difference. It only takes a few short moments to utter these two words, but the impact can be felt for a very long time.
Showing gratitude is also the best strategy for ensuring the things you are most grateful for continue to happen. When we stop and tell our partners what we are grateful for, we are also telling the Universe. By making the effort, the conscious decision, to express our thanks we are in a better position of receiving more of it in the future.
If you want your partner to be grateful, it starts by you showing gratitude, first.
Be Happy, Not Right
Here’s a question for you, “Would you rather be right, or happy?” Too often our pride and egos can keep us from enjoying intimate relationships. We stew over what we think are injustices, but are perhaps only misunderstandings.
We carry grudges and do not show enough grace, passion or forgiveness to the person we care most about. Our need to be right can overshadow our need to receive, and give, love.
Take a look at what your pride is costing you. If intimacy is strained and the relationship is off track you may want to reconsider the value of your anger or self righteousness. Here’s the thing: You may be right in the argument although you partner thinks otherwise, but you will never be wrong when you put your partner first. Happiness always feels better than vindication.
No Day But Today
What would you say to your partner if you knew this was the last day you would be together? Would you complain about the television being too loud, or would you remind your partner of their value and significance?
Life does have an expiration date. This isn’t meant to be a downer – just a reality we all share. It’s what you do with this information that will make the difference. While it’s very difficult to sustain a high-level of connection and passion on a day-to-day basis, there are some simple things you can do to convey your partner’s importance to let them know they are important today:
Kiss your mate at least twice a day
Leave a quick note just to say “hi,” or “I love you”
Never do anything you wouldn’t want your partner to know
Be fully present when they need to talk or share something important
Make the effort to spend some time together each day
Give a compliment
Make your partner feel important
Smile
No Judgments
Judgments are often times rooted in perception, not reality. Judgments are also a piece of how you see the world, not the way the world, or in this case your partner, actually exists.
The harm with judgments is resentment and anger are typically the outcomes – not the change that is expected. When a judgment is made, there is an implied belief the behavior or trait being judged should be corrected. However, the person receiving the judgment does not always share the same expectation.
As a result, communication is impaired, connection is deteriorated and conflict ensues. To love deliberately and consciously requires loving your partner with a different filter – a cleaner filter that does not have the residue of past contaminants.
Be Aware of Your Own Thoughts & Feelings
Loving authentically is dependent on loving yourself, first. Before you share love, and share yourself with someone, it is important to beware of what you want. Reality suggests, however, we fall in love and begin relationships before we have a clear idea of our own true feelings.
When this happens, there is still plenty of time to discover your needs – this is called growth. Give yourself opportunities outside of the relationship. Build friendships and pursue interests on your own.
A good relationship exists when both people can live without the other, but choose to be together. A relationship built on a foundation of sharing different interests cultivates more life and depth into it.
You own your thoughts and feelings. These make you unique and keep you grounded with who you really are or growing to become. By doing so, you are in a much better position to love freely and honestly. Nature has a way of taking care of those things we put the most energy in and want to grow even stronger.
Loving Consciously
The power of love extends its reach when we will love intentionally. Real love, authentic love, springs to life and is sustained when we make the choice to feed it with our deliberate passion. Our souls are nourished when our partners realize we know how to love them.
There will be a day when I no longer share this life with my wife. When that day arrives, my hope is she will know my intent was to discover exactly what she wanted and my conscious choice was to give her more of that.
This works,leave your ego aside and try it!
The following strategies work best to love intentionally; to love authentically and to love consciously.
Show Appreciation:
A simple “thank you” in response to a trivial or ordinary item can make a significant difference. It only takes a few short moments to utter these two words, but the impact can be felt for a very long time.
Showing gratitude is also the best strategy for ensuring the things you are most grateful for continue to happen. When we stop and tell our partners what we are grateful for, we are also telling the Universe. By making the effort, the conscious decision, to express our thanks we are in a better position of receiving more of it in the future.
If you want your partner to be grateful, it starts by you showing gratitude, first.
Be Happy, Not Right
Here’s a question for you, “Would you rather be right, or happy?” Too often our pride and egos can keep us from enjoying intimate relationships. We stew over what we think are injustices, but are perhaps only misunderstandings.
We carry grudges and do not show enough grace, passion or forgiveness to the person we care most about. Our need to be right can overshadow our need to receive, and give, love.
Take a look at what your pride is costing you. If intimacy is strained and the relationship is off track you may want to reconsider the value of your anger or self righteousness. Here’s the thing: You may be right in the argument although you partner thinks otherwise, but you will never be wrong when you put your partner first. Happiness always feels better than vindication.
No Day But Today
What would you say to your partner if you knew this was the last day you would be together? Would you complain about the television being too loud, or would you remind your partner of their value and significance?
Life does have an expiration date. This isn’t meant to be a downer – just a reality we all share. It’s what you do with this information that will make the difference. While it’s very difficult to sustain a high-level of connection and passion on a day-to-day basis, there are some simple things you can do to convey your partner’s importance to let them know they are important today:
Kiss your mate at least twice a day
Leave a quick note just to say “hi,” or “I love you”
Never do anything you wouldn’t want your partner to know
Be fully present when they need to talk or share something important
Make the effort to spend some time together each day
Give a compliment
Make your partner feel important
Smile
No Judgments
Judgments are often times rooted in perception, not reality. Judgments are also a piece of how you see the world, not the way the world, or in this case your partner, actually exists.
The harm with judgments is resentment and anger are typically the outcomes – not the change that is expected. When a judgment is made, there is an implied belief the behavior or trait being judged should be corrected. However, the person receiving the judgment does not always share the same expectation.
As a result, communication is impaired, connection is deteriorated and conflict ensues. To love deliberately and consciously requires loving your partner with a different filter – a cleaner filter that does not have the residue of past contaminants.
Be Aware of Your Own Thoughts & Feelings
Loving authentically is dependent on loving yourself, first. Before you share love, and share yourself with someone, it is important to beware of what you want. Reality suggests, however, we fall in love and begin relationships before we have a clear idea of our own true feelings.
When this happens, there is still plenty of time to discover your needs – this is called growth. Give yourself opportunities outside of the relationship. Build friendships and pursue interests on your own.
A good relationship exists when both people can live without the other, but choose to be together. A relationship built on a foundation of sharing different interests cultivates more life and depth into it.
You own your thoughts and feelings. These make you unique and keep you grounded with who you really are or growing to become. By doing so, you are in a much better position to love freely and honestly. Nature has a way of taking care of those things we put the most energy in and want to grow even stronger.
Loving Consciously
The power of love extends its reach when we will love intentionally. Real love, authentic love, springs to life and is sustained when we make the choice to feed it with our deliberate passion. Our souls are nourished when our partners realize we know how to love them.
There will be a day when I no longer share this life with my wife. When that day arrives, my hope is she will know my intent was to discover exactly what she wanted and my conscious choice was to give her more of that.
How To Love More By Caring Less - Oprah (true/false)
Now my whole family is abusing me!" said Loretta, a client at a women's resource center where I volunteered back in the '90s. "If I leave my husband, it'll just be out of the frying pan and into the fire."
"Are you—" I cut myself off before finishing my thought, which was, "Are you crazy?" Just the week before, I'd participated in an intervention where Loretta's family had urged her to leave her battering husband, Rex. Each person had expressed enormous love for and protectiveness toward Loretta. Now she thought they were all abusers? Huh?
"They're just like Rex," she said. "You saw it. They judge me. They criticize me. Nothing I do is enough for them."
I opened my mouth, then closed it. Opened then closed it again. I kept that up for about a minute, like a perplexed goldfish, as I groped for the right thing to say. It killed me that Loretta was interpreting her family's desire to rescue her as criticism and judgment. But even as I tried to come up with the kindest possible phrasing for "What the hell is wrong with you?" I knew my question would come across like a slap.
That's when it dawned on me that Loretta had a point. No, her family wasn't abusing her the way Rex did—and yet in its own way, their treatment of her must have felt like an attack. They weren't accepting her as she was. They needed her to change. They raised their voices, made demands, pushed hard. And their intense negative emotions were triggering her fear and defensiveness.
It was in the midst of processing all this that I suddenly heard myself say, "Well, Loretta, I just love you. I don't care what happens to you."
The statement shocked me as it left my lips. But even as I mentally smacked myself upside the head, a funny thing happened: Loretta visibly relaxed. I could feel my own anxiety vanishing, too, leaving a quiet space in which I could treat Loretta kindly. It was true—I really didn't care what happened to her. No matter what she did, I wouldn't love her one bit less.
Since then I've found that loving without caring is a useful approach—I'd venture to say the best approach—in most relationships, especially families. If you think that's coldhearted, think again. It may be time you let yourself love more by caring less - Oprah
who believes this? Can you love more by caring less? Why not try it..*wink*
"Are you—" I cut myself off before finishing my thought, which was, "Are you crazy?" Just the week before, I'd participated in an intervention where Loretta's family had urged her to leave her battering husband, Rex. Each person had expressed enormous love for and protectiveness toward Loretta. Now she thought they were all abusers? Huh?
"They're just like Rex," she said. "You saw it. They judge me. They criticize me. Nothing I do is enough for them."
I opened my mouth, then closed it. Opened then closed it again. I kept that up for about a minute, like a perplexed goldfish, as I groped for the right thing to say. It killed me that Loretta was interpreting her family's desire to rescue her as criticism and judgment. But even as I tried to come up with the kindest possible phrasing for "What the hell is wrong with you?" I knew my question would come across like a slap.
That's when it dawned on me that Loretta had a point. No, her family wasn't abusing her the way Rex did—and yet in its own way, their treatment of her must have felt like an attack. They weren't accepting her as she was. They needed her to change. They raised their voices, made demands, pushed hard. And their intense negative emotions were triggering her fear and defensiveness.
It was in the midst of processing all this that I suddenly heard myself say, "Well, Loretta, I just love you. I don't care what happens to you."
The statement shocked me as it left my lips. But even as I mentally smacked myself upside the head, a funny thing happened: Loretta visibly relaxed. I could feel my own anxiety vanishing, too, leaving a quiet space in which I could treat Loretta kindly. It was true—I really didn't care what happened to her. No matter what she did, I wouldn't love her one bit less.
Since then I've found that loving without caring is a useful approach—I'd venture to say the best approach—in most relationships, especially families. If you think that's coldhearted, think again. It may be time you let yourself love more by caring less - Oprah
who believes this? Can you love more by caring less? Why not try it..*wink*
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Great Advice For Married Couples (read)
Given the failure of marriages which were previously deemed unbreakable (think royal), we offer the following 7 tips, which are hardly inclusive of everything one needs to know, but can help couples get out of the starting gate on better footing.
1. Expect Challenges:
Unexpected conflict can surprise you when it surfaces after the wedding, or even years later. Challenges will come, so it's best to realize that they are normal. While it is unhealthy to live in a pattern of hostility, don’t think that unexpected difficulty or conflict means you should start looking for the exit ramp. Find someone to help you navigate the issues and learn new ways to communicate and resolve problems. Great marriages are committed to navigating the conflicts. Marriage is the greatest tool for personal growth and maturity.
2. Listen. Talk. Find a Mentor:
Communication is obviously the key to any great relationship and we can’t do full justice to the issue except to summarize:
1) We don’t really “hear” what another person is saying because we either react defensively or think only of what we want to say in response. Most people just want to know they have been heard and their feelings were understood.
2) Don’t bury your feelings, but learn how to wisely make your deepest needs known.
3) Avoid saying “You always….You never.” Use “I feel” terms instead. (This is basic Communication 101 that many have heard, but still don’t practice.)
4) Ask directly for forgiveness, and respond with forgiveness. Holding hands when you talk helps break a cycle of anger. Research also finds that couples who pray privately and regularly together have vastly more successful marriages.
5) Find a trusted friend or older, wiser couple who will be supportive of your marriage (not just affirm your negativity), and will help you, ideally both of you together, work through issues of communication.
3. Maintain Intimacy
Keep the sexual component of your marriage intact. Don’t take your partner’s fidelity for granted. Even if there are times of understandable sexual slow down, (raising children can cause exhaustion, aging brings changes in capacity), stay determined not to let these seasons bring intimacy to a halt. Unavoidable seasons of abstinence should not be used to create guilt or foster bitterness, but rather lead to a mutual determination that even in stressful times you will not let weeks pass without sex, because then you allow your relationship to veer into the friends zone, and that can be a challenge to work your way out of (but you can and must). No matter what, stay faithful.
4. Don’t use the "D" Word
Divorce should not be a part of your relationship vocabulary. It creates subconscious damage that is hard to repair. Marriage functions best when it is viewed as a covenant and not consumer relationship—meaning it is a lifelong vow, not something disposable if your needs are not met. When divorce is taken off the table, it does not give you free rein to do whatever you please—since the end result of irresponsible selfishness can be too painful to survive—but it can give couples the impetus to make the relationship as good as it can be. Protect the affection you started with—don’t blow it by doing something you don’t realize you will deeply regret later. Removing the option of divorce can bring security to the relationship and a deeper motivation to make the relationship as happy and rewarding as it can be.
5. "Date” Each Other
It may seem you have plenty of together time when you plop in front of the TV every night, but a strong marriage, like parenting, is also about quality time. Go out for dinner, take in a movie, go for a walk. Find something you might like in common—cross country skiing, book clubs, ballroom dance classes, or church study groups. Eat, Talk, Play—have regular family or two-some sit-down dinners with soothing music and candles. Talk about your day, current events, or personal challenges. Make plans to do something fun—whether it’s ping pong, visiting a museum, biking, going to theater, playing games, or making a picnic.
6. Women Most Need Love; Men Most Need Respect
For us, this was a revolutionary concept that changed our tone and overall approach toward each other. We must give credit to Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his best-selling book and conference, "Love and Respect." Of course, men and women need both love and respect, but our hierarchy of deepest need is different. Without love, she reacts to him without respect; without respect he reacts without love towards her, and the crazy cycle starts spinning out of control. There is a way to jump off the “crazy cycle,” says Eggerichs, and we recommend you learn how.
7. Begin With the End in Mind
You can’t imagine in younger years, but one day you will be old and potentially lonely. Your kids will have their own lives. If you carefully tend to your marriage, there will be the succor of companionship with someone who has been a witness to most of your entire life. Research shows that married people have greater financial resources, longer lives, better health, more personal happiness, and having both parents in the same home provides by far the best environment for raising children. Keep the long term goals in mind. Research shows it is actually worth staying together for the children.
We’ve heard countless stories of folks who worked through the seemingly impossible middle years, and came out on the other side of comfort and companionship in old age. Plus, the best way for the average Joe to build financial security for old age? Stay married.
We have no interest in making anyone feel guilty if they already have regrets or failure. No one starts at marriage, believing it will fail. Our advice is meant for helping people, whatever their current state, realize their deepest hopes for lifelong lasting love. With commitment and care, we believe newlywed princes and princesses—famous or not—can eventually reach “happily ever after.” So be wise,every marriage goes through a challenge,don't think yours is the worst okay? Love your partner again,live and be happy,learn to tolerate and of course do the right thing. You are married,stay married! IT IS POSSIBLE
1. Expect Challenges:
Unexpected conflict can surprise you when it surfaces after the wedding, or even years later. Challenges will come, so it's best to realize that they are normal. While it is unhealthy to live in a pattern of hostility, don’t think that unexpected difficulty or conflict means you should start looking for the exit ramp. Find someone to help you navigate the issues and learn new ways to communicate and resolve problems. Great marriages are committed to navigating the conflicts. Marriage is the greatest tool for personal growth and maturity.
2. Listen. Talk. Find a Mentor:
Communication is obviously the key to any great relationship and we can’t do full justice to the issue except to summarize:
1) We don’t really “hear” what another person is saying because we either react defensively or think only of what we want to say in response. Most people just want to know they have been heard and their feelings were understood.
2) Don’t bury your feelings, but learn how to wisely make your deepest needs known.
3) Avoid saying “You always….You never.” Use “I feel” terms instead. (This is basic Communication 101 that many have heard, but still don’t practice.)
4) Ask directly for forgiveness, and respond with forgiveness. Holding hands when you talk helps break a cycle of anger. Research also finds that couples who pray privately and regularly together have vastly more successful marriages.
5) Find a trusted friend or older, wiser couple who will be supportive of your marriage (not just affirm your negativity), and will help you, ideally both of you together, work through issues of communication.
3. Maintain Intimacy
Keep the sexual component of your marriage intact. Don’t take your partner’s fidelity for granted. Even if there are times of understandable sexual slow down, (raising children can cause exhaustion, aging brings changes in capacity), stay determined not to let these seasons bring intimacy to a halt. Unavoidable seasons of abstinence should not be used to create guilt or foster bitterness, but rather lead to a mutual determination that even in stressful times you will not let weeks pass without sex, because then you allow your relationship to veer into the friends zone, and that can be a challenge to work your way out of (but you can and must). No matter what, stay faithful.
4. Don’t use the "D" Word
Divorce should not be a part of your relationship vocabulary. It creates subconscious damage that is hard to repair. Marriage functions best when it is viewed as a covenant and not consumer relationship—meaning it is a lifelong vow, not something disposable if your needs are not met. When divorce is taken off the table, it does not give you free rein to do whatever you please—since the end result of irresponsible selfishness can be too painful to survive—but it can give couples the impetus to make the relationship as good as it can be. Protect the affection you started with—don’t blow it by doing something you don’t realize you will deeply regret later. Removing the option of divorce can bring security to the relationship and a deeper motivation to make the relationship as happy and rewarding as it can be.
5. "Date” Each Other
It may seem you have plenty of together time when you plop in front of the TV every night, but a strong marriage, like parenting, is also about quality time. Go out for dinner, take in a movie, go for a walk. Find something you might like in common—cross country skiing, book clubs, ballroom dance classes, or church study groups. Eat, Talk, Play—have regular family or two-some sit-down dinners with soothing music and candles. Talk about your day, current events, or personal challenges. Make plans to do something fun—whether it’s ping pong, visiting a museum, biking, going to theater, playing games, or making a picnic.
6. Women Most Need Love; Men Most Need Respect
For us, this was a revolutionary concept that changed our tone and overall approach toward each other. We must give credit to Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his best-selling book and conference, "Love and Respect." Of course, men and women need both love and respect, but our hierarchy of deepest need is different. Without love, she reacts to him without respect; without respect he reacts without love towards her, and the crazy cycle starts spinning out of control. There is a way to jump off the “crazy cycle,” says Eggerichs, and we recommend you learn how.
7. Begin With the End in Mind
You can’t imagine in younger years, but one day you will be old and potentially lonely. Your kids will have their own lives. If you carefully tend to your marriage, there will be the succor of companionship with someone who has been a witness to most of your entire life. Research shows that married people have greater financial resources, longer lives, better health, more personal happiness, and having both parents in the same home provides by far the best environment for raising children. Keep the long term goals in mind. Research shows it is actually worth staying together for the children.
We’ve heard countless stories of folks who worked through the seemingly impossible middle years, and came out on the other side of comfort and companionship in old age. Plus, the best way for the average Joe to build financial security for old age? Stay married.
We have no interest in making anyone feel guilty if they already have regrets or failure. No one starts at marriage, believing it will fail. Our advice is meant for helping people, whatever their current state, realize their deepest hopes for lifelong lasting love. With commitment and care, we believe newlywed princes and princesses—famous or not—can eventually reach “happily ever after.” So be wise,every marriage goes through a challenge,don't think yours is the worst okay? Love your partner again,live and be happy,learn to tolerate and of course do the right thing. You are married,stay married! IT IS POSSIBLE
Great Advice For Married Couples (read)
Given the failure of marriages which were previously deemed unbreakable (think royal), we offer the following 7 tips, which are hardly inclusive of everything one needs to know, but can help couples get out of the starting gate on better footing.
1. Expect Challenges:
Unexpected conflict can surprise you when it surfaces after the wedding, or even years later. Challenges will come, so it's best to realize that they are normal. While it is unhealthy to live in a pattern of hostility, don’t think that unexpected difficulty or conflict means you should start looking for the exit ramp. Find someone to help you navigate the issues and learn new ways to communicate and resolve problems. Great marriages are committed to navigating the conflicts. Marriage is the greatest tool for personal growth and maturity.
2. Listen. Talk. Find a Mentor:
Communication is obviously the key to any great relationship and we can’t do full justice to the issue except to summarize:
1) We don’t really “hear” what another person is saying because we either react defensively or think only of what we want to say in response. Most people just want to know they have been heard and their feelings were understood.
2) Don’t bury your feelings, but learn how to wisely make your deepest needs known.
3) Avoid saying “You always….You never.” Use “I feel” terms instead. (This is basic Communication 101 that many have heard, but still don’t practice.)
4) Ask directly for forgiveness, and respond with forgiveness. Holding hands when you talk helps break a cycle of anger. Research also finds that couples who pray privately and regularly together have vastly more successful marriages.
5) Find a trusted friend or older, wiser couple who will be supportive of your marriage (not just affirm your negativity), and will help you, ideally both of you together, work through issues of communication.
3. Maintain Intimacy
Keep the sexual component of your marriage intact. Don’t take your partner’s fidelity for granted. Even if there are times of understandable sexual slow down, (raising children can cause exhaustion, aging brings changes in capacity), stay determined not to let these seasons bring intimacy to a halt. Unavoidable seasons of abstinence should not be used to create guilt or foster bitterness, but rather lead to a mutual determination that even in stressful times you will not let weeks pass without sex, because then you allow your relationship to veer into the friends zone, and that can be a challenge to work your way out of (but you can and must). No matter what, stay faithful.
4. Don’t use the "D" Word
Divorce should not be a part of your relationship vocabulary. It creates subconscious damage that is hard to repair. Marriage functions best when it is viewed as a covenant and not consumer relationship—meaning it is a lifelong vow, not something disposable if your needs are not met. When divorce is taken off the table, it does not give you free rein to do whatever you please—since the end result of irresponsible selfishness can be too painful to survive—but it can give couples the impetus to make the relationship as good as it can be. Protect the affection you started with—don’t blow it by doing something you don’t realize you will deeply regret later. Removing the option of divorce can bring security to the relationship and a deeper motivation to make the relationship as happy and rewarding as it can be.
5. "Date” Each Other
It may seem you have plenty of together time when you plop in front of the TV every night, but a strong marriage, like parenting, is also about quality time. Go out for dinner, take in a movie, go for a walk. Find something you might like in common—cross country skiing, book clubs, ballroom dance classes, or church study groups. Eat, Talk, Play—have regular family or two-some sit-down dinners with soothing music and candles. Talk about your day, current events, or personal challenges. Make plans to do something fun—whether it’s ping pong, visiting a museum, biking, going to theater, playing games, or making a picnic.
6. Women Most Need Love; Men Most Need Respect
For us, this was a revolutionary concept that changed our tone and overall approach toward each other. We must give credit to Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his best-selling book and conference, "Love and Respect." Of course, men and women need both love and respect, but our hierarchy of deepest need is different. Without love, she reacts to him without respect; without respect he reacts without love towards her, and the crazy cycle starts spinning out of control. There is a way to jump off the “crazy cycle,” says Eggerichs, and we recommend you learn how.
7. Begin With the End in Mind
You can’t imagine in younger years, but one day you will be old and potentially lonely. Your kids will have their own lives. If you carefully tend to your marriage, there will be the succor of companionship with someone who has been a witness to most of your entire life. Research shows that married people have greater financial resources, longer lives, better health, more personal happiness, and having both parents in the same home provides by far the best environment for raising children. Keep the long term goals in mind. Research shows it is actually worth staying together for the children.
We’ve heard countless stories of folks who worked through the seemingly impossible middle years, and came out on the other side of comfort and companionship in old age. Plus, the best way for the average Joe to build financial security for old age? Stay married.
We have no interest in making anyone feel guilty if they already have regrets or failure. No one starts at marriage, believing it will fail. Our advice is meant for helping people, whatever their current state, realize their deepest hopes for lifelong lasting love. With commitment and care, we believe newlywed princes and princesses—famous or not—can eventually reach “happily ever after.” So be wise,every marriage goes through a challenge,don't think yours is the worst okay? Love your partner again,live and be happy,learn to tolerate and of course do the right thing. You are married,stay married! IT IS POSSIBLE
1. Expect Challenges:
Unexpected conflict can surprise you when it surfaces after the wedding, or even years later. Challenges will come, so it's best to realize that they are normal. While it is unhealthy to live in a pattern of hostility, don’t think that unexpected difficulty or conflict means you should start looking for the exit ramp. Find someone to help you navigate the issues and learn new ways to communicate and resolve problems. Great marriages are committed to navigating the conflicts. Marriage is the greatest tool for personal growth and maturity.
2. Listen. Talk. Find a Mentor:
Communication is obviously the key to any great relationship and we can’t do full justice to the issue except to summarize:
1) We don’t really “hear” what another person is saying because we either react defensively or think only of what we want to say in response. Most people just want to know they have been heard and their feelings were understood.
2) Don’t bury your feelings, but learn how to wisely make your deepest needs known.
3) Avoid saying “You always….You never.” Use “I feel” terms instead. (This is basic Communication 101 that many have heard, but still don’t practice.)
4) Ask directly for forgiveness, and respond with forgiveness. Holding hands when you talk helps break a cycle of anger. Research also finds that couples who pray privately and regularly together have vastly more successful marriages.
5) Find a trusted friend or older, wiser couple who will be supportive of your marriage (not just affirm your negativity), and will help you, ideally both of you together, work through issues of communication.
3. Maintain Intimacy
Keep the sexual component of your marriage intact. Don’t take your partner’s fidelity for granted. Even if there are times of understandable sexual slow down, (raising children can cause exhaustion, aging brings changes in capacity), stay determined not to let these seasons bring intimacy to a halt. Unavoidable seasons of abstinence should not be used to create guilt or foster bitterness, but rather lead to a mutual determination that even in stressful times you will not let weeks pass without sex, because then you allow your relationship to veer into the friends zone, and that can be a challenge to work your way out of (but you can and must). No matter what, stay faithful.
4. Don’t use the "D" Word
Divorce should not be a part of your relationship vocabulary. It creates subconscious damage that is hard to repair. Marriage functions best when it is viewed as a covenant and not consumer relationship—meaning it is a lifelong vow, not something disposable if your needs are not met. When divorce is taken off the table, it does not give you free rein to do whatever you please—since the end result of irresponsible selfishness can be too painful to survive—but it can give couples the impetus to make the relationship as good as it can be. Protect the affection you started with—don’t blow it by doing something you don’t realize you will deeply regret later. Removing the option of divorce can bring security to the relationship and a deeper motivation to make the relationship as happy and rewarding as it can be.
5. "Date” Each Other
It may seem you have plenty of together time when you plop in front of the TV every night, but a strong marriage, like parenting, is also about quality time. Go out for dinner, take in a movie, go for a walk. Find something you might like in common—cross country skiing, book clubs, ballroom dance classes, or church study groups. Eat, Talk, Play—have regular family or two-some sit-down dinners with soothing music and candles. Talk about your day, current events, or personal challenges. Make plans to do something fun—whether it’s ping pong, visiting a museum, biking, going to theater, playing games, or making a picnic.
6. Women Most Need Love; Men Most Need Respect
For us, this was a revolutionary concept that changed our tone and overall approach toward each other. We must give credit to Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his best-selling book and conference, "Love and Respect." Of course, men and women need both love and respect, but our hierarchy of deepest need is different. Without love, she reacts to him without respect; without respect he reacts without love towards her, and the crazy cycle starts spinning out of control. There is a way to jump off the “crazy cycle,” says Eggerichs, and we recommend you learn how.
7. Begin With the End in Mind
You can’t imagine in younger years, but one day you will be old and potentially lonely. Your kids will have their own lives. If you carefully tend to your marriage, there will be the succor of companionship with someone who has been a witness to most of your entire life. Research shows that married people have greater financial resources, longer lives, better health, more personal happiness, and having both parents in the same home provides by far the best environment for raising children. Keep the long term goals in mind. Research shows it is actually worth staying together for the children.
We’ve heard countless stories of folks who worked through the seemingly impossible middle years, and came out on the other side of comfort and companionship in old age. Plus, the best way for the average Joe to build financial security for old age? Stay married.
We have no interest in making anyone feel guilty if they already have regrets or failure. No one starts at marriage, believing it will fail. Our advice is meant for helping people, whatever their current state, realize their deepest hopes for lifelong lasting love. With commitment and care, we believe newlywed princes and princesses—famous or not—can eventually reach “happily ever after.” So be wise,every marriage goes through a challenge,don't think yours is the worst okay? Love your partner again,live and be happy,learn to tolerate and of course do the right thing. You are married,stay married! IT IS POSSIBLE
LOVE QUOTES FOR YOU!
Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.
H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
Lao Tzu
A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy.
George Jean Nathan
A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.
Ingrid Bergman
Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.
Bruce Lee
A flower cannot blossom without sunshine, and man cannot live without love.
Max Muller
I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.
Mother Teresa
Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.
Oscar Wilde
Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'
Erich Fromm
Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself - and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what he really is.
Jim Morrison
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
Judy Garland
A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea.
Honore de Balzac
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.
Mother Teresa
A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.
Brendan Francis
Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?
Richard Bach
Where there is love there is life.
Mahatma Gandhi
A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years.
Rupert Brooke
We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.
Orson Welles
At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.
Plato
I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
LOVE IS A BEAUTIFUL THING,KEEP LOVING,KEEP LIVING,ITS ALL ABOUT LOVE
H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
Lao Tzu
A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy.
George Jean Nathan
A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.
Ingrid Bergman
Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.
Bruce Lee
A flower cannot blossom without sunshine, and man cannot live without love.
Max Muller
I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.
Mother Teresa
Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.
Oscar Wilde
Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'
Erich Fromm
Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself - and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what he really is.
Jim Morrison
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
Judy Garland
A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea.
Honore de Balzac
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.
Mother Teresa
A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.
Brendan Francis
Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?
Richard Bach
Where there is love there is life.
Mahatma Gandhi
A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years.
Rupert Brooke
We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.
Orson Welles
At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.
Plato
I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
CHEATING HUSBANDS AND WHY! (Read)
Men are more likely than women to cheat. It is estimated that close to 50% of all men will cheat at some point in their lives.
Husbands are also more likely to engage in online cheating – using chat rooms, webcams and online services to arrange sexual encounters (including prostitution).
The more money a husband makes, the more likely he is to be unfaithful. Having more money brings more opportunity and wealth tends to attract more women
A lack of sexual excitement or the routine of having sex with the same person often leads men to stray. Men are more likely to be drawn to the thrill of having sex with someone new
Husbands are less likely than wives to consider leaving their spouse when having an affair.
A cheating husband is more likely to have an affair with someone who is younger than his wife.
When having a one-night stand, men are less choosy than women when it comes to selecting someone to have sex with.
Husbands are more likely to feel that cheating is justified due to the lack of sex within a marriage.
Husbands are much more likely than wives to be serial cheats
Husbands are also more likely to engage in online cheating – using chat rooms, webcams and online services to arrange sexual encounters (including prostitution).
The more money a husband makes, the more likely he is to be unfaithful. Having more money brings more opportunity and wealth tends to attract more women
A lack of sexual excitement or the routine of having sex with the same person often leads men to stray. Men are more likely to be drawn to the thrill of having sex with someone new
Husbands are less likely than wives to consider leaving their spouse when having an affair.
A cheating husband is more likely to have an affair with someone who is younger than his wife.
When having a one-night stand, men are less choosy than women when it comes to selecting someone to have sex with.
Husbands are more likely to feel that cheating is justified due to the lack of sex within a marriage.
Husbands are much more likely than wives to be serial cheats
Saturday, October 27, 2012
That Talk About LOVE
if you are in love — that’s a good thing — that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.
Second — There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you — of kindness and consideration and respect — not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.
You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply — of course it isn’t puppy love.
But I don’t think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it — and that I can tell you.
Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.
The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.
If you love someone — there is no possible harm in saying so — only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.
Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.
It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another — but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.
Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I’m glad you have it.
We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.
And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens — The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.
Love,
Second — There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you — of kindness and consideration and respect — not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.
You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply — of course it isn’t puppy love.
But I don’t think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it — and that I can tell you.
Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.
The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.
If you love someone — there is no possible harm in saying so — only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.
Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.
It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another — but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.
Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I’m glad you have it.
We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.
And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens — The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.
Love,
Girl Runs Mad And Masturbates In Public After Sex With Sugar Daddy
Tumblr back up after outage
After a roughly six-hour outage, popular blogging platform Tumblr was back up Friday afternoon, bringing sweet relief to hipster bloggers, budding photographers and oversharers everywhere.
On its Twitter feed, Tumblr announced that the long, painful wait for its devoted users was over at about 2:15 p.m. ET.
"Tumblr is back online - a full postmortem regarding today's service interruption will follow," the post read.
The outage started in earnest shortly before 8:30 a.m. Friday, according to Web tool Down Right Now. Its report was based on official announcements and feeds, plus user reports on Twitter and directly to its creators.
On its Twitter feed, Tumblr announced that the long, painful wait for its devoted users was over at about 2:15 p.m. ET.
"Tumblr is back online - a full postmortem regarding today's service interruption will follow," the post read.
The outage started in earnest shortly before 8:30 a.m. Friday, according to Web tool Down Right Now. Its report was based on official announcements and feeds, plus user reports on Twitter and directly to its creators.
Man Utd looks to cash in as DHL sent packing
Having landed a world-record shirt sponsorship deal with General Motors in July, soccer team Manchester United is looking to cash in once more after buying out training kit partner DHL.
The English Premier League club signed a $559 million agreement with GM to have the Chevrolet logo on its shirts for seven years from 2014 onwards.
And, despite signing a $64 million training kit deal with logistics firm DHL in 2010, the Glazer family-owned team has already set its sights on securing a more lucrative endorsement.
"We have successfully negotiated an early buyout of our training kit agreement with DHL effective 30 June 2013," read a statement from one of the world's richest clubs, which has won the English league title a record 19 times and been crowned champion of Europe on three occasions.
"The significantly increased value of agreements concluded since entering into this agreement, such as our recent $559 million world-record shirt sponsorship with General Motors, leads us to believe that there should be strategic opportunities to further optimize the value of these rights."
Back to the future: Black pioneer's battle with racism
United has already announced two lucrative partnerships this month. First it entered into a three-year arrangement with Azerbaijani telecommunications company Bakcell, which became the club's first broadcast partner in the country.
The English Premier League club signed a $559 million agreement with GM to have the Chevrolet logo on its shirts for seven years from 2014 onwards.
And, despite signing a $64 million training kit deal with logistics firm DHL in 2010, the Glazer family-owned team has already set its sights on securing a more lucrative endorsement.
"We have successfully negotiated an early buyout of our training kit agreement with DHL effective 30 June 2013," read a statement from one of the world's richest clubs, which has won the English league title a record 19 times and been crowned champion of Europe on three occasions.
"The significantly increased value of agreements concluded since entering into this agreement, such as our recent $559 million world-record shirt sponsorship with General Motors, leads us to believe that there should be strategic opportunities to further optimize the value of these rights."
Back to the future: Black pioneer's battle with racism
United has already announced two lucrative partnerships this month. First it entered into a three-year arrangement with Azerbaijani telecommunications company Bakcell, which became the club's first broadcast partner in the country.
Women smokers who quit by 30 'evade earlier death risks'
Women who give up smoking by the age of 30 will almost completely avoid the risks of dying early from tobacco-related diseases, according to a study of more than a million women in the UK.
The results, published in the Lancet, showed lifelong smokers died a decade earlier than those who never started.
But those who stopped by 30 lost, on average, a month of life and if they stopped by 40 they died a year younger.
Health experts said this was not a licence for the young to smoke.
The study followed the first generation of women to start smoking during the 1950s and 60s. As women started smoking on a large scale much later than men, the impact of a lifetime of cigarettes has only just been analysed for women.
"What we've shown is that if women smoke like men, they die like men," said lead researcher Prof Sir Richard Peto, from Oxford University.
He told the BBC: "More than half of women who smoke and keep on smoking will get killed by tobacco.
"Stopping works, amazingly well actually. Smoking kills, stopping works and the earlier you stop the better."
The results, published in the Lancet, showed lifelong smokers died a decade earlier than those who never started.
But those who stopped by 30 lost, on average, a month of life and if they stopped by 40 they died a year younger.
Health experts said this was not a licence for the young to smoke.
The study followed the first generation of women to start smoking during the 1950s and 60s. As women started smoking on a large scale much later than men, the impact of a lifetime of cigarettes has only just been analysed for women.
"What we've shown is that if women smoke like men, they die like men," said lead researcher Prof Sir Richard Peto, from Oxford University.
He told the BBC: "More than half of women who smoke and keep on smoking will get killed by tobacco.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Malala's parents on way for UK hospital visit
It's likely to be an emotional reunion. The parents of Malala Yousufzai, the Pakistani schoolgirl activist shot by the Taliban, are expected to see their daughter for the first time Thursday since she regained consciousness in a British hospital last week.
The 15-year-old, who has become an international symbol of courage after being targeted for demanding education for girls, is being treated for a shot to the head in Birmingham, England.
While hospital staff last week said they were trying to arrange for her listen to her father on the phone, this will be his first chance to be by her bedside since she was flown from Pakistan 10 days ago, her condition deteriorating.
Arrests made in shooting of Pakistani schoolgirl
Both parents are on a plane that left Pakistan Thursday morning, said a government official, Noor Malik. The flight is expected to arrive in Birmingham Thursday afternoon.
For Malala, who has been unable to speak because a tube has been inserted into her trachea to protect her airway, swollen after her gunshot injury, the presence of family members will surely be a comfort.
Her father, Ziauddin Yousufzai, has been a central influence in her young life, having operated one of the few schools that defied the Taliban in the Swat Valley by keeping its doors open to girls.
"I am leaving this country with a heavy heart and in extraordinary circumstances because the whole country knows that it is essential that I be with my daughter during her recovery," he told Pakistani network PTV before leaving Islamabad, in his first public remarks since the October 9 shooting.
The 15-year-old, who has become an international symbol of courage after being targeted for demanding education for girls, is being treated for a shot to the head in Birmingham, England.
While hospital staff last week said they were trying to arrange for her listen to her father on the phone, this will be his first chance to be by her bedside since she was flown from Pakistan 10 days ago, her condition deteriorating.
Arrests made in shooting of Pakistani schoolgirl
Both parents are on a plane that left Pakistan Thursday morning, said a government official, Noor Malik. The flight is expected to arrive in Birmingham Thursday afternoon.
For Malala, who has been unable to speak because a tube has been inserted into her trachea to protect her airway, swollen after her gunshot injury, the presence of family members will surely be a comfort.
Her father, Ziauddin Yousufzai, has been a central influence in her young life, having operated one of the few schools that defied the Taliban in the Swat Valley by keeping its doors open to girls.
Bobby Brown arrested again on DUI charge
Singer Bobby Brown faces his second drunken driving charge this year after a Los Angeles police officer pulled him over in the Studio City community early Wednesday, police said.
The officer smelled "a strong scent of alcohol" when he approached Brown during the Ventura Boulevard traffic stop, prompting a field sobriety test, a police spokesman said.
After the test, Brown was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol and booked into a jail, the police spokesman said. He was released on bond about seven hours later, he said.
Brown's representative did not immediately respond to a CNN call for comment.
Photos: Celebrity mug shots
Brown checked into a "confidential rehabilitation center" in August for treatment "relating to alcohol use," his spokesman said at the time.
Brown, 43, agreed to enter a 90-day alcohol treatment program when he pleaded no contest in Los Angeles County to driving with a blood alcohol content of .08% or higher in April. He also was sentenced to 36 months of probation, according to his attorney, Tiffany Feder.
Brown married Alicia Etheridge, his manager, in a ceremony in Hawaii in June. The couple got engaged in 2010 at a New Edition concert after dating for close to three years. They have a 3-year-old son, Cassius.
The officer smelled "a strong scent of alcohol" when he approached Brown during the Ventura Boulevard traffic stop, prompting a field sobriety test, a police spokesman said.
After the test, Brown was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol and booked into a jail, the police spokesman said. He was released on bond about seven hours later, he said.
Brown's representative did not immediately respond to a CNN call for comment.
Photos: Celebrity mug shots
Brown checked into a "confidential rehabilitation center" in August for treatment "relating to alcohol use," his spokesman said at the time.
Brown, 43, agreed to enter a 90-day alcohol treatment program when he pleaded no contest in Los Angeles County to driving with a blood alcohol content of .08% or higher in April. He also was sentenced to 36 months of probation, according to his attorney, Tiffany Feder.
Check Out This IPad Mini
The full-sized iPad is like a hardback book. The new iPad Mini is the paperback version many tablet users have been waiting for.
Following Tuesday's press conference, Apple ushered reporters into a crowded, narrow room in San Jose's restored California Theater for some chaperoned hands-on time with the new devices.
Of course, the most important impressions come later, after proper battery and speed testing. And it's not until masses of people start field-testing a device that the most memorable (and often overblown) issues come to light. That was the case with the iPhone 5's Maps mishaps, body scratches and camera quirks.
But since the iPad Mini's specs are similar to the iPad 2, its primary selling point is its mini-ness. So physically putting your hands on the device tells you a lot.
In the hands-on demo space, people took turns testing out various grips on the smaller iPad, attempting to hold it in one hand while navigating through apps with just a thumb. The device is 5.3 inches (or 2.3 iPhones) across, so the single-handed approach won't work for some petite paws.
The tablet is light, 312 grams, but still feels substantial and sturdy in your hand. Apple's thinness obsession has touched nearly every one of its product lines this past year, and the iPad Mini could conceivably have been a slip of a gadget. The iPad Mini is just barely thinner than the iPhone 5, and a bit thicker than the iPod Touch.
Following Tuesday's press conference, Apple ushered reporters into a crowded, narrow room in San Jose's restored California Theater for some chaperoned hands-on time with the new devices.
Of course, the most important impressions come later, after proper battery and speed testing. And it's not until masses of people start field-testing a device that the most memorable (and often overblown) issues come to light. That was the case with the iPhone 5's Maps mishaps, body scratches and camera quirks.
But since the iPad Mini's specs are similar to the iPad 2, its primary selling point is its mini-ness. So physically putting your hands on the device tells you a lot.
In the hands-on demo space, people took turns testing out various grips on the smaller iPad, attempting to hold it in one hand while navigating through apps with just a thumb. The device is 5.3 inches (or 2.3 iPhones) across, so the single-handed approach won't work for some petite paws.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Angelina Jolie Speaks On Taliban Teen attack
ANGELINA JOLIE was so horrified by news a Pakistani teenager had been shot by Taliban extremists over her equal rights beliefs she felt compelled to sit down with her two eldest daughters and discuss the incident.
Jolie has opened about the attack on 14-year-old Malala Yousafzai in a new article written for website TheDailyBeast.com, revealing her eight and six-year-old kids appeared to grasp the horror of the 9 October (12) drama, which put the schoolgirl in hospital with gunshot wounds and life-threatening injuries.
The actress, humanitarian and United Nations refugee ambassador writes: “It was difficult for them to comprehend a world where men would try to kill a child whose only ‘crime’ was the desire that she and others like her be allowed to go to school.”
Jolie reveals her daughter Zahara suggested the injured Pakistani teen should be honoured with a statue, while little Shiloh, six, asked mum who was looking after Malala’s pets while she was in hospital.
The actress adds, “She (Shiloh) also asked about Malala’s parents and if they were crying. We decided that they were, but not only for their daughter, also for children around the world denied this basic human right.
“Still trying to understand, my children asked, ‘Why did those men think they needed to kill Malala?’ I answered, ‘Because an education is a powerful thing.’”
Concluding her TheDailyBeast.com piece, Jolie urges schoolchildren and parents to join her and donate funds to the Women in the World Foundation as a tribute to brave Yousafzai. The charity seeks to provide funds to women and girls fighting for girls’ education in Pakistan and Afghanistan.
Jolie has opened about the attack on 14-year-old Malala Yousafzai in a new article written for website TheDailyBeast.com, revealing her eight and six-year-old kids appeared to grasp the horror of the 9 October (12) drama, which put the schoolgirl in hospital with gunshot wounds and life-threatening injuries.
The actress, humanitarian and United Nations refugee ambassador writes: “It was difficult for them to comprehend a world where men would try to kill a child whose only ‘crime’ was the desire that she and others like her be allowed to go to school.”
Jolie reveals her daughter Zahara suggested the injured Pakistani teen should be honoured with a statue, while little Shiloh, six, asked mum who was looking after Malala’s pets while she was in hospital.
The actress adds, “She (Shiloh) also asked about Malala’s parents and if they were crying. We decided that they were, but not only for their daughter, also for children around the world denied this basic human right.
“Still trying to understand, my children asked, ‘Why did those men think they needed to kill Malala?’ I answered, ‘Because an education is a powerful thing.’”
Funeral mourners attacked in Syria
It's a horror show that has played out across Syria for 19 months. Those grieving the dead are themselves targeted by gunfire or deadly blasts.
That cycle of death played out again Tuesday when mourners gathered to grieve a man who dared speak out against the Syrian government.
A car bomb silenced them.
"Children's bodies were maimed and burnt. I saw pieces of human flesh and blood on the street," witness Ahmed Al-Muadami said.
This day, mourners came to honor one of 14 men who died after his arrest by Air Force Intelligence -- a much feared security apparatus that dissidents accuse of hunting down anti-government activists.
Word spread quickly Tuesday that a Damascus hospital had a collection of unidentified bodies.
The families of the 14 men rushed to the scene -- only to discover the bodies of their loved ones bore signs of torture.
The outrage boiled over in the Damascus suburb of Muadamiyet al-Sham, where a funeral procession for one of the men morphed into a protest against President Bashar al-Assad's government.
Then came the explosion near the Al-Zaitoona mosque, which is a popular gathering site for anti-government protests.
"It was a car bomb parked next to the mosque where the people were gathered. The explosion killed at least 13 people and wounded over a hundred," Al-Muadami said.
That cycle of death played out again Tuesday when mourners gathered to grieve a man who dared speak out against the Syrian government.
A car bomb silenced them.
"Children's bodies were maimed and burnt. I saw pieces of human flesh and blood on the street," witness Ahmed Al-Muadami said.
This day, mourners came to honor one of 14 men who died after his arrest by Air Force Intelligence -- a much feared security apparatus that dissidents accuse of hunting down anti-government activists.
Word spread quickly Tuesday that a Damascus hospital had a collection of unidentified bodies.
The families of the 14 men rushed to the scene -- only to discover the bodies of their loved ones bore signs of torture.
The outrage boiled over in the Damascus suburb of Muadamiyet al-Sham, where a funeral procession for one of the men morphed into a protest against President Bashar al-Assad's government.
Then came the explosion near the Al-Zaitoona mosque, which is a popular gathering site for anti-government protests.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
L'Aquila quake: Italy scientists guilty of manslaughter
Six Italian scientists and an ex-government official have been sentenced to six years in prison over the 2009 deadly earthquake in L'Aquila.
A regional court found them guilty of multiple manslaughter.
Prosecutors said the defendants gave a falsely reassuring statement before the quake, while the defence maintained there was no way to predict major quakes.
The 6.3 magnitude quake devastated the city and killed 309 people.
Many smaller tremors had rattled the area in the months before the quake that destroyed much of the historic centre.
It took Judge Marco Billi slightly more than four hours to reach the verdict in the trial, which had begun in September 2011.
Lawyers have said that they will appeal against the sentence. As convictions are not definitive until after at least one level of appeal in Italy, it is unlikely any of the defendants will immediately face prison.
A regional court found them guilty of multiple manslaughter.
Prosecutors said the defendants gave a falsely reassuring statement before the quake, while the defence maintained there was no way to predict major quakes.
The 6.3 magnitude quake devastated the city and killed 309 people.
Many smaller tremors had rattled the area in the months before the quake that destroyed much of the historic centre.
It took Judge Marco Billi slightly more than four hours to reach the verdict in the trial, which had begun in September 2011.
Lawyers have said that they will appeal against the sentence. As convictions are not definitive until after at least one level of appeal in Italy, it is unlikely any of the defendants will immediately face prison.
Exercising in your 70s 'may stop brain shrinkage'
Exercising in your 70s may stop your brain from shrinking and showing the signs of ageing linked to dementia, say experts.
Brain scans of 638 people past the age of retirement showed those who were most physically active had less brain shrinkage over a three-year period.
Exercise did not have to be strenuous - going for a walk several times a week sufficed, the journal Neurology says.
But giving the mind a workout by doing a tricky crossword had little impact.
The study found no real brain-size benefit from mentally challenging activities such as playing chess, or other pastimes such as socialising with friends and family.
When the researchers examined the brain's white matter - the wiring that transmits messages round the brain - they found that the people over the age of 70 who were more physically active had fewer damaged areas than those who did little exercise.
And they had more grey matter - the parts of the brain where the messages originate.
Experts already know that our brains tend to shrink as we age and that this shrinkage is linked to poorer memory and thinking.
And previous studies have shown that exercise helps reduce the risk of dementia and can slow down its onset.
But scientists are still baffled about why this is.
Brain scans of 638 people past the age of retirement showed those who were most physically active had less brain shrinkage over a three-year period.
Exercise did not have to be strenuous - going for a walk several times a week sufficed, the journal Neurology says.
But giving the mind a workout by doing a tricky crossword had little impact.
The study found no real brain-size benefit from mentally challenging activities such as playing chess, or other pastimes such as socialising with friends and family.
When the researchers examined the brain's white matter - the wiring that transmits messages round the brain - they found that the people over the age of 70 who were more physically active had fewer damaged areas than those who did little exercise.
And they had more grey matter - the parts of the brain where the messages originate.
Experts already know that our brains tend to shrink as we age and that this shrinkage is linked to poorer memory and thinking.
And previous studies have shown that exercise helps reduce the risk of dementia and can slow down its onset.
But scientists are still baffled about why this is.
Justin Timberlake Says His wedding was ‘magical’
According to sneaky lovebird Justin Timberlake, his marriage to Jessica Biel in Italy Friday was nothing short of “magical.”
The couple, who worked valiantly to keep their nuptials under wraps, married last week at a resort in Puglia, and it sounds like they pulled off their secret ceremony without a hitch.
“It was magical … an unforgettable evening,” Timberlake, 31, gushed to People magazine about his wedding day. His new bride Biel, 30, felt the same, telling the magazine that “it was a fantasy.”
We’re not surprised to hear them describe their wedding with such awestruck phrases, as the reported festivities leading up to their nuptials sounded just as amazing.
Last week, E! News reported that Timberlake and Biel took their wedding party on the road, traveling from a luxurious beachfront hotel to a grotto in Lama Del Trappeto, where guests lounged around open fires and munched on local olives, ricotta and wine.
This was in addition to another pre-wedding beach party the couple threw for family and friends, which according to Us Weekly included Andy Samberg, Biel’s “7th Heaven” co-star Beverley Mitchell and music manager Johnny Wright.
The couple, who worked valiantly to keep their nuptials under wraps, married last week at a resort in Puglia, and it sounds like they pulled off their secret ceremony without a hitch.
“It was magical … an unforgettable evening,” Timberlake, 31, gushed to People magazine about his wedding day. His new bride Biel, 30, felt the same, telling the magazine that “it was a fantasy.”
We’re not surprised to hear them describe their wedding with such awestruck phrases, as the reported festivities leading up to their nuptials sounded just as amazing.
Last week, E! News reported that Timberlake and Biel took their wedding party on the road, traveling from a luxurious beachfront hotel to a grotto in Lama Del Trappeto, where guests lounged around open fires and munched on local olives, ricotta and wine.
Jay-Z And Beyonce lose bid to trademark 'Blue Ivy'
Jay-Z and Beyoncé can't trademark the name of their daughter, Blue Ivy, the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office has ruled, which means the Boston wedding planner Blue Ivy can continue to use the name.
The superstar couple filed a petition to trademark the name "Blue Ivy" shortly after their daughter was born in January, seeking to reserve it for use as a possible brand name for a line of baby-related products, including carriages, diaper bags and baby cosmetics.
Veronica Alexandra, who started Blue Ivy in 2009, filed her own petition to trademark the name, and the Patent Office ruling means she can use "Blue Ivy" for event and wedding planning and related marketing and advertising. Jay-Z and Beyoncé can use the name for other potential business endeavors.
"I knew this was going to be a bittersweet roller coaster," Alexandra, 32, tells Rolling Stone. "If this wasn't going to work, I'd go after both of them. Like, 'Let's do it!' In my mind I had some protective rights. There's no way by way of being a celebrity they should have entitlement [to the name]. Shame on them."
The superstar couple filed a petition to trademark the name "Blue Ivy" shortly after their daughter was born in January, seeking to reserve it for use as a possible brand name for a line of baby-related products, including carriages, diaper bags and baby cosmetics.
Veronica Alexandra, who started Blue Ivy in 2009, filed her own petition to trademark the name, and the Patent Office ruling means she can use "Blue Ivy" for event and wedding planning and related marketing and advertising. Jay-Z and Beyoncé can use the name for other potential business endeavors.
Monday, October 22, 2012
Men who 'planned mass suicide attack' (exposed)
Irfan Naseer, Irfan Khalid and Ashik Ali have denied terrorism charges
Three Birmingham men have gone on trial accused of planning a bomb campaign prosecutors say may have been bigger than the 7 July London attacks.
The men are accused of planning a mass suicide bomb campaign that could have led to eight rucksack bombs being used against multiple targets in the UK.
The accused are Irfan Naseer, 31, Irfan Khalid and Ashik Ali, both 27.
The men, appearing at Woolwich Crown Court, deny engaging in conduct in preparation of terrorist acts.
Three Birmingham men have gone on trial accused of planning a bomb campaign prosecutors say may have been bigger than the 7 July London attacks.
The men are accused of planning a mass suicide bomb campaign that could have led to eight rucksack bombs being used against multiple targets in the UK.
The accused are Irfan Naseer, 31, Irfan Khalid and Ashik Ali, both 27.
Jewellery That Makes You Look Like A Queen
How Regal! Mia Elliott's Glamorous Jewelry Will Make You Feel Like a Queen
Hail to the queen! The ibeautiful by Mia Eliott jewelry collection is full of gorgeous, glamorous gold pieces that will bring out your regal best. Get the lowdown and meet Mia here!
Kate Middleton had better watch out, because there’s a new royal in town: You! The gorgeous, glam jewelry of ibeautiful by Mia Elliott will make any woman feel like a queen. Whether you’re into gold or jewels, who DOESN’T love being blinged out and dressed to the nines? Feast your eyes on these beautiful pieces, now yours for the taking at BettyConfidential Shop!:
Elsa earrings ($84, shop.bettyconfidential.com). Every woman needs a good pair of statement earrings! These draping gold links embellished with green rondell crystals definitely fit the bill.
Hail to the queen! The ibeautiful by Mia Eliott jewelry collection is full of gorgeous, glamorous gold pieces that will bring out your regal best. Get the lowdown and meet Mia here!
Kate Middleton had better watch out, because there’s a new royal in town: You! The gorgeous, glam jewelry of ibeautiful by Mia Elliott will make any woman feel like a queen. Whether you’re into gold or jewels, who DOESN’T love being blinged out and dressed to the nines? Feast your eyes on these beautiful pieces, now yours for the taking at BettyConfidential Shop!:
For My Ladies! Getting A Perfect Eye Liner
Black eyeliner is a make-up bag must-have, and this season, it’s ramped up to the power of ten! From a feline flick to a smokey smudge, black liner is all over the autumn catwalks. Whatever your style, there’s a look to suit – and a new generation of products to help you achieve it! Here are five current favourites at She Said Beauty:
Clarins 3 Dot Liner
Winged liner is big news this coming season, but don’t worry if you’re not blessed with the steadiest of hands. Clarins’ new 3 Dot Liner, £20, could be the answer to your prayers. With its triple-point applicator this is a cinch to apply – just dot along the lashes and join the dots! The perfect cats eye is just three dots away… but you’d best be quick! This is limited edition and we’re predicting it will fly off the shelves.
Stick on Flicks
Feel like experimenting? Cheat your way to super sexy eyes with the latest innovation in liner – Flick Tips! Stick on alternatives to freehand eyeliner, these come in two variations – classic or party packs (£8.99 each), both contacting a selection of different designs. Choose from jewelled flicks, double wings, swirls, oriental style and more. Just apply liner to your lashline, peel off a design, press gently to the corner of your eyelid – and you’re done!
Love Phat Liner
Dark, kohl-rimmed eyes never go out of fashion. Create a smokey, smudgey look with this chunky black Love Phat Liner pencil, a bargain at £3.99 (or free with your July She Said Beauty box!). This is a really intense colour that looks great as a liner, as an eyeshadow base or as an allover eye colour – it makes it super easy to create that fuss-free, rock chick vibe.
NARS Eyeliner Stylos
For a really graphic liner look, you can’t beat a precise, marker-style pen. We’re in luck then that NARS Eyeliner Stylos are back, and they’re better than ever. Reformulated to give long lasting, pigment rich colour, these stay put for up to 24 hours. And thanks to the superfine tip, you can create a really precise line for a variety of catwalk inspired looks. These are £19.
Maybelline Eyestudio Lasting Drama Gel Eyeliner
If you want a great gel liner, you’d best be prepared to pay big – that is, until this little pot of magic from Maybelline hit our shores. Presented in a glass pot with a screw-on lid, this looks and feels much dearer than its £7.99 price-tag – and outperforms products at more than twice its price. Intense and long lasting, it glides on for a look that’s as natural or dramatic as you like. And it comes with a free brush, too!
Clarins 3 Dot Liner
Winged liner is big news this coming season, but don’t worry if you’re not blessed with the steadiest of hands. Clarins’ new 3 Dot Liner, £20, could be the answer to your prayers. With its triple-point applicator this is a cinch to apply – just dot along the lashes and join the dots! The perfect cats eye is just three dots away… but you’d best be quick! This is limited edition and we’re predicting it will fly off the shelves.
Stick on Flicks
Feel like experimenting? Cheat your way to super sexy eyes with the latest innovation in liner – Flick Tips! Stick on alternatives to freehand eyeliner, these come in two variations – classic or party packs (£8.99 each), both contacting a selection of different designs. Choose from jewelled flicks, double wings, swirls, oriental style and more. Just apply liner to your lashline, peel off a design, press gently to the corner of your eyelid – and you’re done!
Love Phat Liner
Dark, kohl-rimmed eyes never go out of fashion. Create a smokey, smudgey look with this chunky black Love Phat Liner pencil, a bargain at £3.99 (or free with your July She Said Beauty box!). This is a really intense colour that looks great as a liner, as an eyeshadow base or as an allover eye colour – it makes it super easy to create that fuss-free, rock chick vibe.
NARS Eyeliner Stylos
For a really graphic liner look, you can’t beat a precise, marker-style pen. We’re in luck then that NARS Eyeliner Stylos are back, and they’re better than ever. Reformulated to give long lasting, pigment rich colour, these stay put for up to 24 hours. And thanks to the superfine tip, you can create a really precise line for a variety of catwalk inspired looks. These are £19.
Maybelline Eyestudio Lasting Drama Gel Eyeliner
Little Gossip About Beyonce And Kim Kardashian
Rumors of friendship developing between Beyonce and Kim Kardashian have been greatly exaggerated. Beyonce is going through the motions of befriending Kim because their men are performing together and they are forced into close proximity. Beyonce has good manners and would not openly snub Kim, but they don’t travel in the same social circles. We’re thinking that Kanye West singing the praises of Kim’s sex tape history didn’t help things either. On labor day, the two women watched their significant others Jay-Z and Kanye perform while sitting on opposite sides of the stage. When it was time for her birthday, Beyonce enjoyed a Mediterranean cruise for her 31st birthday with her husband, baby, and a few selected friends – Kim and Kanye were NOT included.
So now what?
10 Best Powders
Translucent face powder and its travelling companion, the pressed powder compact, were makeup kit staples forever. A light dusting as a final step was supposed to make your makeup last and prevent shine.
Everyone did it. Skipping the powder step was risky - like not adding a topcoat to your nails, or forgetting your deodorant. You just didn't, although the big fear of looking cakey or dry was always lurking in the back of our minds. Then the big glow trend hit and suddenly everything and everyone was dewy, luminous, light reflecting and shimmery. Well, powder is back which proves once again beauty is as cyclical as fashion. But like style it never comes back exactly the same way. Now it's reincarnated as a foundation substitute, pore refinisher, skin freshener. Here are my makeup tips to the ten top powders.
1. Bare Escentuals Hydrating Mineral Veil ($19, sephora.com)
This is a totally sheer, water-based loose powder. Terrific skin with a shiny T-zone. Buff it on after makeup or on bare skin to lose the shine as it absorbs excess oil.
2. Make Up For Ever HD Microfinish Powder ($30, sephora.com)
A new colorless mineral silica pressed powder that gently mattes for a retouched, poreless look.
3. Physician's Formula Organic Wear 100 % Natural Origin Matte Finishing Powder & Bronzing Veil ($13.99, ulta.com)
A big, fluffy flow-thru brush with loose powder applicator comes in fair, light, medium shades for a subtle hint of color without the fake look of most bronzers.
4. Almay Pure Blends Finishing Powder ($11.99, ulta.com)
A loose weightless translucent talc-free powder that comes in matte or shimmer. So light you can't feel it. I love the slight shimmer for evening.
5. Guerlain Meteorites Powder For The Face in Pink Fresh 02 ($53, sephora.com)
The box and scent (faintly rosy-violety) riff on the original blend. This version contains pea-sized balls of powder in pink, pearl, and gold that brighten the skin without blush. It's like something from an 18th century dressing table. Swirl a big brush around in it to pick up a dusting and it lasts all day.
6. Instant Relief Mineral Powder ($32.50, clinique.com)
This hybrid treatment conceals broken capillaries, corrects ruddiness or irritated skin, and comes with retractable brush that "holds" extra powder for portable touchups later. LOVE this!
7. Sally Hansen Natural Beauty Inspired by Carmindy Luminous Matte Pressed Powder ($11.99, ulta.com)
These not-chalky shades give your skin enough color and a candlelit warmth-from-within effect. A genius color palette for darker or olive skintones!
8. Laura Mercier Secret Brightening Powder ($22, saksfifthavenue.com)
This luminous loose setting powder was designed as a topcoat/ brightener for your undereye concealer and it works.
9. DuWop Smoothset ($32, skinstore.com)
An innovative compact powder with a silky texture. A pore minimizing oil-control balm to prime the T-zone is included.
10. Fresh Face Luster ($45, sephora.com)
A sheer compact foundation/powder with green tea and aloe that glides on like a liquid with just enough coverage yet a no-makeup effect. Amazing shades for hard to match cool skintones.
Everyone did it. Skipping the powder step was risky - like not adding a topcoat to your nails, or forgetting your deodorant. You just didn't, although the big fear of looking cakey or dry was always lurking in the back of our minds. Then the big glow trend hit and suddenly everything and everyone was dewy, luminous, light reflecting and shimmery. Well, powder is back which proves once again beauty is as cyclical as fashion. But like style it never comes back exactly the same way. Now it's reincarnated as a foundation substitute, pore refinisher, skin freshener. Here are my makeup tips to the ten top powders.
1. Bare Escentuals Hydrating Mineral Veil ($19, sephora.com)
This is a totally sheer, water-based loose powder. Terrific skin with a shiny T-zone. Buff it on after makeup or on bare skin to lose the shine as it absorbs excess oil.
2. Make Up For Ever HD Microfinish Powder ($30, sephora.com)
A new colorless mineral silica pressed powder that gently mattes for a retouched, poreless look.
3. Physician's Formula Organic Wear 100 % Natural Origin Matte Finishing Powder & Bronzing Veil ($13.99, ulta.com)
A big, fluffy flow-thru brush with loose powder applicator comes in fair, light, medium shades for a subtle hint of color without the fake look of most bronzers.
4. Almay Pure Blends Finishing Powder ($11.99, ulta.com)
A loose weightless translucent talc-free powder that comes in matte or shimmer. So light you can't feel it. I love the slight shimmer for evening.
5. Guerlain Meteorites Powder For The Face in Pink Fresh 02 ($53, sephora.com)
The box and scent (faintly rosy-violety) riff on the original blend. This version contains pea-sized balls of powder in pink, pearl, and gold that brighten the skin without blush. It's like something from an 18th century dressing table. Swirl a big brush around in it to pick up a dusting and it lasts all day.
6. Instant Relief Mineral Powder ($32.50, clinique.com)
This hybrid treatment conceals broken capillaries, corrects ruddiness or irritated skin, and comes with retractable brush that "holds" extra powder for portable touchups later. LOVE this!
7. Sally Hansen Natural Beauty Inspired by Carmindy Luminous Matte Pressed Powder ($11.99, ulta.com)
These not-chalky shades give your skin enough color and a candlelit warmth-from-within effect. A genius color palette for darker or olive skintones!
8. Laura Mercier Secret Brightening Powder ($22, saksfifthavenue.com)
This luminous loose setting powder was designed as a topcoat/ brightener for your undereye concealer and it works.
9. DuWop Smoothset ($32, skinstore.com)
An innovative compact powder with a silky texture. A pore minimizing oil-control balm to prime the T-zone is included.
10. Fresh Face Luster ($45, sephora.com)
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QPR manager Mark Hughes warns eradicating racism will take time
QPR manager Mark Hughes has warned it could take a long time to completely rid football of racism.
More than 30 players from eight Premier League clubs chose not to support the annual Kick It Out campaign over the weekend by refusing to wear a T-shirt.
Among them was QPR defender Anton Ferdinand, who was racially abused by Chelsea captain John Terry last season.
Hughes said: "It's very difficult to eradicate totally. Let's hope that will happen but we will be a lot greyer."
Ferdinand was joined by team-mates Djibril Cisse, Shaun Wright-Phillips, Nedum Onouha and Junior Hoilett in making his protest at the perceived lack of action about racism during the warm-up before Sunday's 1-1 draw Everton - three visiting players, Victor Anichebe, Sylvain Distin and Steven Pienaar also chose not to wear the T-shirts.
"My understanding at the beginning of the week was that everyone was going to comply," said Hughes.
"But a lot of people have made stands and possibly some of our guys felt that they needed to stand shoulder to shoulder which I think you have to accept.
"Any campaign that looks to address an ill in our game and in society needs to be supported irrespective of the fact of whether they are doing enough or not.
"[Some] players feel it's time to make a stand and try and affect the authorities in terms of what they're doing, and if it does that and they are better in fighting racism in sport then it's a good thing."
More than 30 players from eight Premier League clubs chose not to support the annual Kick It Out campaign over the weekend by refusing to wear a T-shirt.
Among them was QPR defender Anton Ferdinand, who was racially abused by Chelsea captain John Terry last season.
Hughes said: "It's very difficult to eradicate totally. Let's hope that will happen but we will be a lot greyer."
Ferdinand was joined by team-mates Djibril Cisse, Shaun Wright-Phillips, Nedum Onouha and Junior Hoilett in making his protest at the perceived lack of action about racism during the warm-up before Sunday's 1-1 draw Everton - three visiting players, Victor Anichebe, Sylvain Distin and Steven Pienaar also chose not to wear the T-shirts.
"My understanding at the beginning of the week was that everyone was going to comply," said Hughes.
"But a lot of people have made stands and possibly some of our guys felt that they needed to stand shoulder to shoulder which I think you have to accept.
"Any campaign that looks to address an ill in our game and in society needs to be supported irrespective of the fact of whether they are doing enough or not.
"[Some] players feel it's time to make a stand and try and affect the authorities in terms of what they're doing, and if it does that and they are better in fighting racism in sport then it's a good thing."
Three killed in Wisconsin shooting at Brookfield spa
A man has opened fire at a beauty spa where his wife worked in the US state of Wisconsin, killing three people and injuring four others.
Areas near the spa in Brookfield, including a shopping centre and hospital, were locked down, as police searched for the gunman.
The suspect, named as Radcliffe Haughton, 45, was later found dead at the scene in the town of Brookfield.
It was not immediately clear whether Haughton's wife was among those killed
Reports say the incident stemmed from a domestic dispute. Haughton had recently been given a restraining order and ordered to hand in his firearms after being accused of slashing his wife's car tyres.
Authorities named the suspected gunman as Radcliffe Haughton
The shooting began around 11:15 (15:15 GMT).
A quick-reaction Swat team and hostage negotiators were sent to the scene, in addition to FBI agents. Police searched the surrounding area, ordering customers at a nearby mall to stay inside.
Brookfield Police Chief Dan Tushaus said the first officers on the scene found the building full of smoke from a fire believed to have been set by Haughton.
The White House issued a statement saying Barack and Michelle Obama's thoughts and prayers were with the victims of "this horrible shooting" and their families.
The governor of Wisconsin, Scott Walker, also expressed his sympathy for the victims, saying: "Senseless acts of violence leave us with heavy hearts and many questions."
It was the second mass shooting in Wisconsin this year.
Areas near the spa in Brookfield, including a shopping centre and hospital, were locked down, as police searched for the gunman.
The suspect, named as Radcliffe Haughton, 45, was later found dead at the scene in the town of Brookfield.
It was not immediately clear whether Haughton's wife was among those killed
Reports say the incident stemmed from a domestic dispute. Haughton had recently been given a restraining order and ordered to hand in his firearms after being accused of slashing his wife's car tyres.
Authorities named the suspected gunman as Radcliffe Haughton
The shooting began around 11:15 (15:15 GMT).
A quick-reaction Swat team and hostage negotiators were sent to the scene, in addition to FBI agents. Police searched the surrounding area, ordering customers at a nearby mall to stay inside.
Brookfield Police Chief Dan Tushaus said the first officers on the scene found the building full of smoke from a fire believed to have been set by Haughton.
The White House issued a statement saying Barack and Michelle Obama's thoughts and prayers were with the victims of "this horrible shooting" and their families.
The governor of Wisconsin, Scott Walker, also expressed his sympathy for the victims, saying: "Senseless acts of violence leave us with heavy hearts and many questions."
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Who are the Pakistani Taliban?
While its recent attack on a 14-year-old girl in Pakistan brought international outrage, the Pakistani Taliban take credit for a long list of assaults on civilians and the military in the country's mostly ungoverned tribal area along the Afghan border.
The banned Islamist group, which has intimate links to the Afghan Taliban and al Qaeda, unabashedly confirmed it tried to kill teen activist Malala Yousufzai as she rode home from school in a van October 9.
But before that, the group, formally known as Tehrik-i-Taliban Pakistan (TTP), took the global spotlight when Faisal Shahzad, a Pakistani-American, attempted to detonate a car bomb in New York's Times Square in May 2010. The TTP took responsibility, and Shahzad testified that he had received training from them.
The following September, the U.S. State Department designated the TTP a Foreign Terrorist Organization.
Are they "the Taliban?"
They are not "the Taliban" that the U.S. forces have been at war with in Afghanistan, according to a Pakistani analyst. But that they adopted the name "Taliban" is no coincidence.
Formally known as Tehrik-i-Taliban Pakistan, the group is very closely linked with its namesake in Afghanistan as well as with al Qaeda. It shares its religious extremist ideology -- but is its own distinct group.
The banned Islamist group, which has intimate links to the Afghan Taliban and al Qaeda, unabashedly confirmed it tried to kill teen activist Malala Yousufzai as she rode home from school in a van October 9.
But before that, the group, formally known as Tehrik-i-Taliban Pakistan (TTP), took the global spotlight when Faisal Shahzad, a Pakistani-American, attempted to detonate a car bomb in New York's Times Square in May 2010. The TTP took responsibility, and Shahzad testified that he had received training from them.
The following September, the U.S. State Department designated the TTP a Foreign Terrorist Organization.
Are they "the Taliban?"
They are not "the Taliban" that the U.S. forces have been at war with in Afghanistan, according to a Pakistani analyst. But that they adopted the name "Taliban" is no coincidence.
Suspended Leicestershire police officer killed by train
Gordon Fraser had been suspended from duty since December 2010
A senior Leicestershire police officer who had recently been suspended from the force has been struck and killed by a train.
Police said Assistant Chief Constable Gordon Fraser died on Friday. His death is not being treated as suspicious.
Mr Fraser, 49, and his wife Teresa appeared in court in July charged with perverting the course of justice over a speeding incident in Scotland.
Mr Fraser and his wife were due to appear in court on Monday.
Leicestershire Police said Mr Fraser was struck on the railway line at Aston Magna, Moreton-in-the-Marsh.
It is understood the couple claimed she was the driver of a speeding car in Scotland in September 2011, when it was alleged her husband was actually at the wheel.
Speaking after the charges were brought, chief Crown prosecutor for Thames and Chiltern Crown Prosecution Service, Baljit Ubhey, said: "The essence of the charge is that Mr Fraser, having allegedly committed a speeding offence, falsely informed the investigating authorities that Mrs Fraser had been the driver of the vehicle in question, and she falsely accepted responsibility for the speeding offence."
A senior Leicestershire police officer who had recently been suspended from the force has been struck and killed by a train.
Police said Assistant Chief Constable Gordon Fraser died on Friday. His death is not being treated as suspicious.
Mr Fraser, 49, and his wife Teresa appeared in court in July charged with perverting the course of justice over a speeding incident in Scotland.
Mr Fraser and his wife were due to appear in court on Monday.
Leicestershire Police said Mr Fraser was struck on the railway line at Aston Magna, Moreton-in-the-Marsh.
It is understood the couple claimed she was the driver of a speeding car in Scotland in September 2011, when it was alleged her husband was actually at the wheel.
Friday, October 19, 2012
A Bit About Rape
Rape, sometimes also called sexual assault, can happen to both men and women of any age.
I define rape as: "The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim."
Rape is forced and unwanted. It's about power, not sex. A rapist uses actual force or violence — or the threat of it — to take control over another human being. Some rapists use drugs to take away a person's ability to fight back. Rape is a crime, whether the person committing it is a stranger, a date, an acquaintance, or a family member.
No matter how it happened, rape is frightening and traumatizing. People who have been raped need care, comfort, and a way to heal.
There are three things that everyone who has been raped should do, though:
Know that the rape wasn't your fault.
Seek medical care.
Deal with your feelings.
It's Not Your Fault
Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault. No one has the right to have sex with you against your will. The blame for a rape lies solely with the rapist.
Sometimes a rapist will try to exert even more power by making the person who's been raped feel like it was actually his or her fault. A rapist may say stuff like, "You asked for it" or "You wanted it." This is just another way for the rapist to take control. The truth is that what a person wears, what a person says, or how a person acts is never a justification for rape.
Most people who are raped know their rapists. That can sometimes lead the person who's been raped to try to protect the perpetrator. Make protecting yourself your priority. Don't worry about protecting the person who raped you.
If you want to report the crime to the police, do so. Reporting a rape may help protect others from that person — and may help you feel a little less like you were a victim.
But making a report to the police may be difficult for some people. If you don't feel comfortable reporting it, you don't have to. You may prefer to get advice about what to do from an experienced adult who can be sympathetic to you. Do whatever helps you to feel safe and heal without blaming yourself.
Seek Medical Care
The first thing someone who has been raped needs to do is see a medical doctor. Most medical centers and hospital emergency departments have doctors and counselors who have been trained to take care of someone who has been raped. It's important to get medical care because a doctor will need to check you for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and internal injuries.
Most areas have local rape hotlines that can give you advice about where to go for medical help. You may want to have a friend or family member go along for support, especially if you're feeling upset and unsafe. Some rape crisis centers also provide advocates who can go along with you.
If you are under 18 and don't want your parents to know about the rape, ask the rape crisis center about the laws in your area. Many jurisdictions treat rape exams confidentially, but some will require that a parent or guardian be notified.
You should get medical attention right away without changing your clothes, showering, douching, or washing. It can be hard not to clean up, of course — it's a natural human instinct to wash away all traces of a sexual assault. But being examined right away is the best way to ensure you get proper medical treatment.
Immediate medical attention also helps when people decide to report the crime, providing evidence needed to prosecute the rapist if a criminal case is pursued. If you've been raped and think you don't want to report it, you could change your mind later — this often happens — and having the results of a medical exam can help you do this. (There are laws, known as statutes of limitations, that give a person only a certain amount of time to pursue legal action for a crime, though, so be sure you know how long you have to report the rape. A local rape crisis center can advise you of the laws in your area.)
Even if you don't get examined right away, it doesn't mean you can't get a checkup later. It's always best to see a doctor immediately after a rape, of course. But a person can still go to a doctor or local clinic to get checked out for STDs, pregnancy, or injuries any time after being raped. In some cases, doctors can even gather evidence several days after a rape has occurred.
Rape isn't just physically damaging, it can be emotionally traumatic as well. The right emotional attention, care, and support can help a person begin the healing process and prevent lingering problems later on.
Someone who has been raped might feel a lot of things: angry, degraded, frightened, numb, or confused. It's also normal for someone who has been raped to feel ashamed or embarrassed. Some people withdraw from friends and family. Others don't want to be alone. Some feel depressed, anxious, or nervous.
Sometimes the feelings surrounding rape may show up in physical ways, such as trouble sleeping or eating. It may be hard to concentrate in school or to participate in everyday activities. Sometimes it may feel like you'll never get over the trauma of the rape. Experts often refer to these emotions — and their physical side effects — as rape trauma syndrome. The best way to work through them is with professional help.
It can be hard to think or talk about a frightening experience, especially something as personal as rape. People who have been raped sometimes avoid seeking help because they're afraid that talking about it will bring back memories or feelings that are too painful. But this can actually do more harm than good.
Talking about rape in a safe environment with the help and support of a trained professional is the best way to ensure long-term healing. Working through the pain sooner rather than later can help reduce symptoms like nightmares and flashbacks. It can also help people avoid potentially harmful behaviors and emotions, like major depression or self-injury.
I define rape as: "The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim."
Rape is forced and unwanted. It's about power, not sex. A rapist uses actual force or violence — or the threat of it — to take control over another human being. Some rapists use drugs to take away a person's ability to fight back. Rape is a crime, whether the person committing it is a stranger, a date, an acquaintance, or a family member.
No matter how it happened, rape is frightening and traumatizing. People who have been raped need care, comfort, and a way to heal.
There are three things that everyone who has been raped should do, though:
Know that the rape wasn't your fault.
Seek medical care.
Deal with your feelings.
It's Not Your Fault
Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault. No one has the right to have sex with you against your will. The blame for a rape lies solely with the rapist.
Sometimes a rapist will try to exert even more power by making the person who's been raped feel like it was actually his or her fault. A rapist may say stuff like, "You asked for it" or "You wanted it." This is just another way for the rapist to take control. The truth is that what a person wears, what a person says, or how a person acts is never a justification for rape.
Most people who are raped know their rapists. That can sometimes lead the person who's been raped to try to protect the perpetrator. Make protecting yourself your priority. Don't worry about protecting the person who raped you.
If you want to report the crime to the police, do so. Reporting a rape may help protect others from that person — and may help you feel a little less like you were a victim.
But making a report to the police may be difficult for some people. If you don't feel comfortable reporting it, you don't have to. You may prefer to get advice about what to do from an experienced adult who can be sympathetic to you. Do whatever helps you to feel safe and heal without blaming yourself.
Seek Medical Care
The first thing someone who has been raped needs to do is see a medical doctor. Most medical centers and hospital emergency departments have doctors and counselors who have been trained to take care of someone who has been raped. It's important to get medical care because a doctor will need to check you for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and internal injuries.
Most areas have local rape hotlines that can give you advice about where to go for medical help. You may want to have a friend or family member go along for support, especially if you're feeling upset and unsafe. Some rape crisis centers also provide advocates who can go along with you.
If you are under 18 and don't want your parents to know about the rape, ask the rape crisis center about the laws in your area. Many jurisdictions treat rape exams confidentially, but some will require that a parent or guardian be notified.
You should get medical attention right away without changing your clothes, showering, douching, or washing. It can be hard not to clean up, of course — it's a natural human instinct to wash away all traces of a sexual assault. But being examined right away is the best way to ensure you get proper medical treatment.
Immediate medical attention also helps when people decide to report the crime, providing evidence needed to prosecute the rapist if a criminal case is pursued. If you've been raped and think you don't want to report it, you could change your mind later — this often happens — and having the results of a medical exam can help you do this. (There are laws, known as statutes of limitations, that give a person only a certain amount of time to pursue legal action for a crime, though, so be sure you know how long you have to report the rape. A local rape crisis center can advise you of the laws in your area.)
Even if you don't get examined right away, it doesn't mean you can't get a checkup later. It's always best to see a doctor immediately after a rape, of course. But a person can still go to a doctor or local clinic to get checked out for STDs, pregnancy, or injuries any time after being raped. In some cases, doctors can even gather evidence several days after a rape has occurred.
Rape isn't just physically damaging, it can be emotionally traumatic as well. The right emotional attention, care, and support can help a person begin the healing process and prevent lingering problems later on.
Someone who has been raped might feel a lot of things: angry, degraded, frightened, numb, or confused. It's also normal for someone who has been raped to feel ashamed or embarrassed. Some people withdraw from friends and family. Others don't want to be alone. Some feel depressed, anxious, or nervous.
Sometimes the feelings surrounding rape may show up in physical ways, such as trouble sleeping or eating. It may be hard to concentrate in school or to participate in everyday activities. Sometimes it may feel like you'll never get over the trauma of the rape. Experts often refer to these emotions — and their physical side effects — as rape trauma syndrome. The best way to work through them is with professional help.
It can be hard to think or talk about a frightening experience, especially something as personal as rape. People who have been raped sometimes avoid seeking help because they're afraid that talking about it will bring back memories or feelings that are too painful. But this can actually do more harm than good.
Talking about rape in a safe environment with the help and support of a trained professional is the best way to ensure long-term healing. Working through the pain sooner rather than later can help reduce symptoms like nightmares and flashbacks. It can also help people avoid potentially harmful behaviors and emotions, like major depression or self-injury.
Drake graduates from high school
We so hope Drake is somewhere recreating the music video for “HYFR,” because this is a reason to celebrate!
The 25-year-old rapper/actor, who (in addition to his music) is famous for portraying Jimmy Brooks on “Degrassi: The Next Generation,” is now a high school graduate in real life.
And he did it with high scores, to boot: “97 percent on my final exam. 88 percent in the course. One of the greatest feelings in my entire life,” Drake posted Wednesday. “As of tonight I have graduated high school!”
He added in a sweet show of gratitude, “Thank you to my teacher Kim Janzen for spending the last 5 months working tirelessly with me!! OVO SOUND.”
The 25-year-old rapper/actor, who (in addition to his music) is famous for portraying Jimmy Brooks on “Degrassi: The Next Generation,” is now a high school graduate in real life.
And he did it with high scores, to boot: “97 percent on my final exam. 88 percent in the course. One of the greatest feelings in my entire life,” Drake posted Wednesday. “As of tonight I have graduated high school!”
Afghan woman beheads daughter-in-law for refusing prostitution, police say
A young woman had her head chopped off for refusing to prostitute herself — and one of the killers was her mother-in-law, police say.
The other was the mother-in-law’s cousin. And both admit it, according to Afghan police.
To most people, the slaying of 20-year-old Mah Gul is unimaginable.
But it’s just “one more incident that highlights the violent atmosphere that women and girls face in Afghanistan and the region,” Suzanne Nossel, executive director of Amnesty International USA, said Thursday.
The killing happened Sunday in Herat province, in southwest Afghanistan along the Iranian border.
Gul’s husband is a baker. When he left home for work, his mother and her cousin tried to force the young wife into prostitution, said Noorthan Mikvad, spokesman for Herat police.
When she wouldn’t do it, they beheaded her, he said.
In a statement, Nossel said women and girls in the region “are raped, killed, forced into marriage in childhood, prevented from obtaining an education and denied their sexual and reproductive rights. Until basic human rights are guaranteed … these horrible abuses will continue to be committed.”
The U.S. State Department says some “Afghan women and girls are subjected to forced prostitution, forced marriages – including through forced marriages in which husbands force their wives into prostitution, and where they are given by their families to settle debts or disputes.”
Some families even knowingly sell their children into forced prostitution, the State Department said, “including for bacha baazi – where wealthy men use groups of young boys for social and sexual entertainment.”
Herat police say their investigation found that Gul’s husband and father-in-law were not involved in her killing.
The other was the mother-in-law’s cousin. And both admit it, according to Afghan police.
To most people, the slaying of 20-year-old Mah Gul is unimaginable.
But it’s just “one more incident that highlights the violent atmosphere that women and girls face in Afghanistan and the region,” Suzanne Nossel, executive director of Amnesty International USA, said Thursday.
The killing happened Sunday in Herat province, in southwest Afghanistan along the Iranian border.
Gul’s husband is a baker. When he left home for work, his mother and her cousin tried to force the young wife into prostitution, said Noorthan Mikvad, spokesman for Herat police.
When she wouldn’t do it, they beheaded her, he said.
In a statement, Nossel said women and girls in the region “are raped, killed, forced into marriage in childhood, prevented from obtaining an education and denied their sexual and reproductive rights. Until basic human rights are guaranteed … these horrible abuses will continue to be committed.”
The U.S. State Department says some “Afghan women and girls are subjected to forced prostitution, forced marriages – including through forced marriages in which husbands force their wives into prostitution, and where they are given by their families to settle debts or disputes.”
Some families even knowingly sell their children into forced prostitution, the State Department said, “including for bacha baazi – where wealthy men use groups of young boys for social and sexual entertainment.”
Herat police say their investigation found that Gul’s husband and father-in-law were not involved in her killing.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Megan Fox, Brian Austin Green welcome baby boy
Adele is probably somewhere taking notes on Megan Fox’s stealthy delivery.
Not only did the actress stay under the radar during her pregnancy (as Adele too has masterfully done), but she also quietly welcomed her first child with husband Brian Austin Green last month.
“We have been very lucky to have had a peaceful few weeks at home, but I would like to release this myself before others do,” Fox said on her Facebook page Wednesday. “I gave birth to our son Noah Shannon Green on September 27. He is healthy, happy, and perfect.”
Fox, 26, and Green, 39, married in 2010. Rather than talk about their impending bundle of joy, the couple let a photo speak for them when a snapshot of Fox’s growing belly surfaced in June.
Fox, who’s already stepmom to Green’s 10-year-old son, said in her post that she and Green “are humbled to have the opportunity to call ourselves the parents of this beautiful soul and I am forever grateful to God for allowing me to know this kind of boundless, immaculate love. Thanks to those of you who wish to send your positive energy and well wishes. May God bless you and your families abundantly.
Not only did the actress stay under the radar during her pregnancy (as Adele too has masterfully done), but she also quietly welcomed her first child with husband Brian Austin Green last month.
“We have been very lucky to have had a peaceful few weeks at home, but I would like to release this myself before others do,” Fox said on her Facebook page Wednesday. “I gave birth to our son Noah Shannon Green on September 27. He is healthy, happy, and perfect.”
Fox, 26, and Green, 39, married in 2010. Rather than talk about their impending bundle of joy, the couple let a photo speak for them when a snapshot of Fox’s growing belly surfaced in June.
Conjoined twins Rosie and Ruby Formosa separated
The mother of conjoined twins has described her joy after a successful operation to separate them.
Rosie and Ruby Formosa were born joined at the abdomen and sharing part of the intestine.
The twins, now 12 weeks old, were operated on at London's Great Ormond Street Hospital the day after they were born on 27 July.
Their mother Angela, from Bexleyheath in south-east London, said the "smiling bubbly babies" were doing well.
The twins needed an emergency operation to separate them.
Mrs Formosa, 32, said finding out the twins were joined had been a shock after her "textbook" pregnancy with first daughter Lily, now aged five.
The twins are now putting on weight and starting to smile, their mother said
"At an early pregnancy scan they said the twins looked very close together so I went to King's College for another scan," she said.
"Between 16 and 20 weeks we found out that they were joined - I didn't know what to think, I was shocked and I felt sad.
"We didn't know what to expect until they were born - the doctors could not tell where they were connected.
"They decided to deliver them early at 34 weeks."
Rosie and Ruby Formosa were born joined at the abdomen and sharing part of the intestine.
The twins, now 12 weeks old, were operated on at London's Great Ormond Street Hospital the day after they were born on 27 July.
Their mother Angela, from Bexleyheath in south-east London, said the "smiling bubbly babies" were doing well.
The twins needed an emergency operation to separate them.
Mrs Formosa, 32, said finding out the twins were joined had been a shock after her "textbook" pregnancy with first daughter Lily, now aged five.
The twins are now putting on weight and starting to smile, their mother said
"At an early pregnancy scan they said the twins looked very close together so I went to King's College for another scan," she said.
"Between 16 and 20 weeks we found out that they were joined - I didn't know what to think, I was shocked and I felt sad.
"We didn't know what to expect until they were born - the doctors could not tell where they were connected.
Human trafficking to UK 'rising'
The number of people being trafficked into the UK is rising, with gangs in China, Nigeria and eastern Europe targeting the country, a government report says.
Many victims of trafficking are used for sexual exploitation or forced labour
The number of people being trafficked into the UK is rising, latest government estimates suggest.
Last year the authorities learned of 946 victims, compared with 710 in 2010, the inter-departmental ministerial group on human trafficking said.
Crime gangs in China, Vietnam, Nigeria and eastern Europe now pose the biggest threat to the UK on the issue, it said.
The government said better co-ordination between its departments and with authorities abroad was key.
There is currently no official figure for the number of victims trafficked into the country each year.
However, the group's report said that last year 712 adult victims and 234 child victims were reported to the National Referral Mechanism, the official body that identifies and looks after those caught up in trafficking.
Of the victims referred in 2010, 524 were adults and 186 were children.
It is thought the increase could be explained by improvements in identifying victims, although campaigners say the figures of those being trafficked could be far higher as many victims choose not to come forward for fear of being sent back to where they came from.
The report detailed two cases of people being trafficked for illegal organ donations but they were detected and stopped before the donations were carried out. One involved the planned sale of a victim's kidneys.
The report also said there had been an increase in the number of children being forced into crime, including street begging. The Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre estimates there are about 300 child trafficking victims in the UK every year.
Many victims of trafficking are used for sexual exploitation or forced labour
The number of people being trafficked into the UK is rising, latest government estimates suggest.
Last year the authorities learned of 946 victims, compared with 710 in 2010, the inter-departmental ministerial group on human trafficking said.
Crime gangs in China, Vietnam, Nigeria and eastern Europe now pose the biggest threat to the UK on the issue, it said.
The government said better co-ordination between its departments and with authorities abroad was key.
There is currently no official figure for the number of victims trafficked into the country each year.
However, the group's report said that last year 712 adult victims and 234 child victims were reported to the National Referral Mechanism, the official body that identifies and looks after those caught up in trafficking.
Of the victims referred in 2010, 524 were adults and 186 were children.
It is thought the increase could be explained by improvements in identifying victims, although campaigners say the figures of those being trafficked could be far higher as many victims choose not to come forward for fear of being sent back to where they came from.
The report detailed two cases of people being trafficked for illegal organ donations but they were detected and stopped before the donations were carried out. One involved the planned sale of a victim's kidneys.
The report also said there had been an increase in the number of children being forced into crime, including street begging. The Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre estimates there are about 300 child trafficking victims in the UK every year.
Human trafficking to UK 'rising'
The number of people being trafficked into the UK is rising, with gangs in China, Nigeria and eastern Europe targeting the country, a government report says.
Many victims of trafficking are used for sexual exploitation or forced labour
The number of people being trafficked into the UK is rising, latest government estimates suggest.
Last year the authorities learned of 946 victims, compared with 710 in 2010, the inter-departmental ministerial group on human trafficking said.
Crime gangs in China, Vietnam, Nigeria and eastern Europe now pose the biggest threat to the UK on the issue, it said.
The government said better co-ordination between its departments and with authorities abroad was key.
There is currently no official figure for the number of victims trafficked into the country each year.
However, the group's report said that last year 712 adult victims and 234 child victims were reported to the National Referral Mechanism, the official body that identifies and looks after those caught up in trafficking.
Of the victims referred in 2010, 524 were adults and 186 were children.
It is thought the increase could be explained by improvements in identifying victims, although campaigners say the figures of those being trafficked could be far higher as many victims choose not to come forward for fear of being sent back to where they came from.
The report detailed two cases of people being trafficked for illegal organ donations but they were detected and stopped before the donations were carried out. One involved the planned sale of a victim's kidneys.
The report also said there had been an increase in the number of children being forced into crime, including street begging. The Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre estimates there are about 300 child trafficking victims in the UK every year.
Many victims of trafficking are used for sexual exploitation or forced labour
The number of people being trafficked into the UK is rising, latest government estimates suggest.
Last year the authorities learned of 946 victims, compared with 710 in 2010, the inter-departmental ministerial group on human trafficking said.
Crime gangs in China, Vietnam, Nigeria and eastern Europe now pose the biggest threat to the UK on the issue, it said.
The government said better co-ordination between its departments and with authorities abroad was key.
There is currently no official figure for the number of victims trafficked into the country each year.
However, the group's report said that last year 712 adult victims and 234 child victims were reported to the National Referral Mechanism, the official body that identifies and looks after those caught up in trafficking.
Of the victims referred in 2010, 524 were adults and 186 were children.
It is thought the increase could be explained by improvements in identifying victims, although campaigners say the figures of those being trafficked could be far higher as many victims choose not to come forward for fear of being sent back to where they came from.
The report detailed two cases of people being trafficked for illegal organ donations but they were detected and stopped before the donations were carried out. One involved the planned sale of a victim's kidneys.
The report also said there had been an increase in the number of children being forced into crime, including street begging. The Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre estimates there are about 300 child trafficking victims in the UK every year.
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