Friday, October 4, 2013

Why You Shouldn't Nag

What is Nagging? Have you ever thought about what nagging is? Here are some related terms for nagging: faultfinding, continually complaining, criticism, catty, carping, coaxing, cynical, demanding, dunning, hairsplitting, insistent, nit-picking, overcritical, peevish, persistent, pestering, pettish, pressing, quibble, recurring, relentless, shrewish, slam, swipe, unrelenting, urging, and wheedling. The Vicious Cycle of Nagging Nagging can become a vicious cycle. The more you nag, the more your mate avoids you or withdraws both emotionally and physically from you, so the more you nag. Is this really how you want to live? Why Nagging Doesn't Work Even though your gripes may be valid, nagging makes your spouse resentful. Nagging makes your spouse defensive. Nagging puts you in the parent role and your spouse in the child role. This isn't healthy for your marriage/ relationship. Nagging is disrespectful. Nagging is often perceived as criticism, so your spouse may tune out making what you are saying ineffective. When your spouse is being nagged, he/she probably feels attacked personally. Nagging can make your spouse feel inadequate. Ways to Avoid Being a Nag Don't blame. Don't demean. Don't attack. Don't criticize. Don't manipulate. Avoid making your spouse feel stupid. Don't give in to your frustration and do your spouse's chores. Your mate needs to learn to deal with the logical consequences of being messy. Instead of Nagging, Try Positive Approaches Share your feelings. Stick to the issue at hand. Keep your statements brief so they don't turn into long lectures. Don't make ultimatums. Avoid using the phrases, "You always..." and "You never..." and "You should..." Consider saying "would you" or "will you" rather than "could you" or "can you". There's a subtle difference in the way the request will be heard by your spouse. Set a good example,and people around you will follow suit including your spouse.. Hope this helps! Gracias Por Leer!