Love. Amour. Amore. In popular fiction, the signs of true love tend toward the melodramatic: heart palpitations, loss of sleep, loss of appetite, blowing curtains, fireworks. If you feel these things, however, you're not so much in love as in lust. So lust aside, here's a sampling of the undeniable signs of true love — and good (emotional) health.
You're willing to explain why you don't want to date others
With all the nasty little diseases around, the idea of sleeping around is a lot less attractive than it used to be. The issue isn't a willingness to be exclusive. It's a willingness to talk about and explain being exclusive.
A surprisingly large number of men and women are surreptitiously monogamous, feeling that their willingness to forgo all others gives power to the partner. But when you're willing to admit that you're willing to share the power and admit your vulnerability (I really like you and hope you like me as much), not only are you in love, but you sound like a rational, fairly adult soul in the bargain.
You're willing to ditch your past
"I've forgotten my past" This is a statement of not only exclusivity but plans for exclusivity, essentially saying that no one of your acquaintance holds a candle to your beloved. Your willingness to get rid of the book gives proof of that reality. Getting rid of your past also says that you're unwilling to revisit past loves and that, in this relationship, there is no going back; you can only go forward.
No fair throwing the book into the fire but keeping the database on your trusty laptop. A commitment is a commitment, and this is as much about self as other. If you pretend to throw away your past, then you're also pretending that you're committed.
Grow up: If you're old enough to be taken seriously by someone you like, you're old enough to take yourself seriously. Committed adult relationships don't have room for manipulative games.
You're willing to go somewhere you hate
The willingness to go someplace you actually hate with someone you actually love — and not be a pain in the neck about it — is one of the hallmarks of love.
When you first start to date, you're tempted to do whatever it takes to get the date off the ground because you're blinded by the possibilities. During the next phase of dating, you stand up for yourself and don't do the activity you hate.
This is a necessary evolution because if there is to be true love, it has to be based on who you are, not who you think your beginning-to-be-significant other will like. But once you actually get to love, your need to constantly assert yourself is softened by your beloved's influence and the sense that you can give because your love will reciprocate your generosity.
You don't need to keep track on a day-to-day basis to make sure everything is 50-50. But the sense that there is fairness and equality and appreciation and respect means that your reluctance to do something you're not crazy about gets overwhelmed by your desire to do something with the person you love. In other words, the person becomes more important than the event.
You're willing to save if you're a spend-thrift and spend if you're frugal
The point isn't really about money at all, but a willingness to examine fundamental beliefs as a direct result of valuing another person and his or her perspective and opinion. (Yeah, the same phenomenon can happen with friends, but because friends generally tolerate and celebrate differences, there's less motive or incentive for change.)
Any good relationship changes us. If being around your beloved makes you examine or change some fundamental part of yourself, it may not be love in and of itself, but it does indicate respect, a willingness to learn from another, and a relationship in which you feel safe enough to try something foreign and scary.
Forget about flattery or hypocrisy. Rather, you have the courage, strength, and energy to examine and experiment with a fundamental belief system, be it religion, politics, gun control, abortion, Chinese food, travel, having children, gardening, money, or any other position you used to consider inviolate.
(Money? you say. Yep. It's hard to think of any one commodity that is more basic than money. If you think money is just green stuff that just sits there, you're wrong; it can represent power, lifestyle, control, options, freedom, interaction, and a whole lot more.)
The idea of doing nothing together sounds terrific
In the early stages of dating, there is a hunger to discover who the other person is, but this time also feels scary because he or she may not be what you thought or — even worse — you may not be what they're looking for.
Even though the stakes aren't very high at the beginning, you might feel that they are, so you play at dating, and one of the easiest ways to play is to do something at all times — either publicly or privately. The dating ritual is about finding places to go and things to do.
Once a couple is sexual, the thing to do is sexual, and everything else seems just a holding action until the couple can hit the sheets. Then when the initial flurry of sexual activity is over, there is a tendency to want to show each other off because you're feeling connected and proud.
When the idea of doing nothing together is the coolest thing either of you can come up with, you're very likely in love, because you've gone through the other stages of terror, sex, and showing off.
Now, the relationship is just about the two of you, not to the exclusion of everyone or anything else. In fact, your "normal" life has expanded to include each other, but the idea of simply being together is the most wonderful thing either of you can figure out to do — even out of bed.
You're willing to risk being yourself
Being yourself is really the big enchilada. Everything else on the How-You-Know-You're-in-Love list hints at being yourself, but when you truly love someone, you want them to know who you are and love you for all that you are, not just for who you pretend to be. When you're in a truly loving relationship, you can be honest and direct and take chances.
The tricky part of being in love is that it can encourage you to be yourself but ups the ante that you might make someone whom you really want to stay change their mind and leave if you show the real you. You want your beloved to be happy now and forever, and the only way to do that is to be who you really are.
It's almost impossible to sustain an illusion over time, and because you are now truly in love, you wouldn't want to hurt your beloved by living a lie. But you also need to be a bit careful of what you confess. Remember that between honesty and duplicity is silence. If you're old enough to be in love, you're old enough to understand the occasional use of silence. Do you understand this? Ok,thank me later *wink*
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Coping With A Broken Heart
Time heals all wounds, even a broken heart.
A broken heart is one of the single most painful things human beings will ever have to deal with in life. Even if you were the one to end a relationship, the hurt is still there. You will be sad for a while, no matter how bad or good the relationship. But have hope, because there are ways to make it through to happier days.
Realize that you're not alone. It might feel like the end of the world, but there are people who want to support you and who understand your pain. So take a deep breath and tell yourself, "I will make it through this difficult time."
Find as many friends and family members as you can to help you deal. Let them know what's going on and that you really need them to be there just to listen when you feel like talking about your emotions. Pick people who are close to you, and if you can't find anyone, then make some new friends. The Internet has plenty of chat rooms for people who are heartbroken; just make sure you're looking for friends right now and not a rebound relationship. You can find people to talk to, but never give away personal information online.
Understand that journaling is also a great way to express your emotions. For a while you will want to talk about your feelings often, whether to others or just writing in your journal. After about four to six weeks, it's time to start finding ways to distract yourself from the pain; you've suffered long enough.
Get outside and get some fresh air, no matter how badly you feel like just lying in bed and moping. Go for a walk or visit a friend you haven't seen in a while. Try to think of some of your favorite hobbies, things that make you happy even when you're at your worst. Spend your free time pursuing them. This is a great time to do all those things you never had a chance to do before. Maybe your house really needs cleaning, or you've always meant to try painting, or you want to write that award-winning novel that's been in your head for years. These are great distractions, and they are good for you, too.
Remember to take care of your body. This is a time to be kind to yourself, not put yourself down. Tell yourself that you are worth it, and if you don't believe that, then have someone else tell you until you do. Take care of your body, and once you are ready to face the world again, you'll be in great shape. Hopefully, these healthy habits will follow you even after you're up and at it again.
Warnings:
Remember that no two people are the same. Just because one person can overcome a broken heart in a few weeks doesn't mean you personally can, or should. Take as much, or as little, time as you truly need to heal.
Self-help books and websites are great places to get advice.
If you are depressed for more than a few months, you might consider talking to a therapist.
If you are feeling suicidal, seek help immediately.
A broken heart is one of the single most painful things human beings will ever have to deal with in life. Even if you were the one to end a relationship, the hurt is still there. You will be sad for a while, no matter how bad or good the relationship. But have hope, because there are ways to make it through to happier days.
Realize that you're not alone. It might feel like the end of the world, but there are people who want to support you and who understand your pain. So take a deep breath and tell yourself, "I will make it through this difficult time."
Find as many friends and family members as you can to help you deal. Let them know what's going on and that you really need them to be there just to listen when you feel like talking about your emotions. Pick people who are close to you, and if you can't find anyone, then make some new friends. The Internet has plenty of chat rooms for people who are heartbroken; just make sure you're looking for friends right now and not a rebound relationship. You can find people to talk to, but never give away personal information online.
Understand that journaling is also a great way to express your emotions. For a while you will want to talk about your feelings often, whether to others or just writing in your journal. After about four to six weeks, it's time to start finding ways to distract yourself from the pain; you've suffered long enough.
Get outside and get some fresh air, no matter how badly you feel like just lying in bed and moping. Go for a walk or visit a friend you haven't seen in a while. Try to think of some of your favorite hobbies, things that make you happy even when you're at your worst. Spend your free time pursuing them. This is a great time to do all those things you never had a chance to do before. Maybe your house really needs cleaning, or you've always meant to try painting, or you want to write that award-winning novel that's been in your head for years. These are great distractions, and they are good for you, too.
Remember to take care of your body. This is a time to be kind to yourself, not put yourself down. Tell yourself that you are worth it, and if you don't believe that, then have someone else tell you until you do. Take care of your body, and once you are ready to face the world again, you'll be in great shape. Hopefully, these healthy habits will follow you even after you're up and at it again.
Warnings:
Remember that no two people are the same. Just because one person can overcome a broken heart in a few weeks doesn't mean you personally can, or should. Take as much, or as little, time as you truly need to heal.
Self-help books and websites are great places to get advice.
If you are depressed for more than a few months, you might consider talking to a therapist.
If you are feeling suicidal, seek help immediately.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
4 Genuinely Loving Gestures That Show You Care
1. Study your partner. Take care to learn who they are. What do they love, like and dislike? What do they find difficult? What sends them into their outer limits?
While this independent study may not result in your behaving much differently, your attention and care will be felt. Your investment of time is of the utmost importance to the overall quality and health of your long-term relationship.
2. Include their overall happiness as part of your daily awareness practice. In other words, check in with them daily; inquire about their feelings, dreams, struggles, agenda and goals, personal and otherwise. Hold their vision for themselves as if it were your own.
3. Listen carefully. Most people tell us what they want from us. If not directly, they usually drop clues constantly about what would make them happy, even deliriously happy. "An uninterrupted hour, free from housework, kids, phones, noise, responsibility and … don't ask ... Oh I could use a massage, a romantic dinner, to have you kidnap me for the night, or simply to pick up your dirty socks and clean up after yourself so I don’t have to ask you."
4.Be there for them: give your partner some care,be there for them when they need you. Enjoy..
While this independent study may not result in your behaving much differently, your attention and care will be felt. Your investment of time is of the utmost importance to the overall quality and health of your long-term relationship.
2. Include their overall happiness as part of your daily awareness practice. In other words, check in with them daily; inquire about their feelings, dreams, struggles, agenda and goals, personal and otherwise. Hold their vision for themselves as if it were your own.
3. Listen carefully. Most people tell us what they want from us. If not directly, they usually drop clues constantly about what would make them happy, even deliriously happy. "An uninterrupted hour, free from housework, kids, phones, noise, responsibility and … don't ask ... Oh I could use a massage, a romantic dinner, to have you kidnap me for the night, or simply to pick up your dirty socks and clean up after yourself so I don’t have to ask you."
4.Be there for them: give your partner some care,be there for them when they need you. Enjoy..
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Keys To Avoid Marrying The Wrong Man
Did you know you were making a mistake as you were walking down the aisle? Ask yourself certain questions,if you find answers to them,then goodluck to you!
1, Do I respect and admire this person?
2. What specifically do I respect and admire about this person?
3. Do I trust this person?
4. Can I rely on them? Do I trust their judgment? Do I trust their word? Can I believe what they say?
5. Do I feel Safe? Do I feel emotionally safe with this person? Can I be vulnerable? Can I be myself? Can I be open? Can I express myself?
6. Do I feel calm and at peace with this person?
If the answer is “I don’t know, I’m not sure, etc.” keep evaluating until you know for sure and truly understand how you feel. If you don’t feel safe now, you won’t feel safe when you are married. If you don’t trust now, this won’t change when you are married!
Now read this too»»»
The following are some of the steps one needs to take to avoid marrying the wrong person:
1) Make sure that the drive is love and not infatuation:
Love is a decision to care for somebody, no matter what the person does or does not do.Love is a decision and not a feeling.Love suffers long,love is kind, bears all things,seeks not its own and thinks no evil.
Anytime you are in a relationship and the person is always insisting on his or her own,the person is not in love.
Love has the ability to stand the test of time but infatuation does not.Infatuation has a short life span.If you marry because of infatuation, you will have a horrible marriage.If you want to have a home without regrets, marry because you truly love the person.
2) Be the right spouse:
You must first be the right person to attract the right person.
Are you self-centered? Do you argue a lot? and full of yourself?Are your eyes only fixed on your honeymoon and the celebration?You may be deceiving yourself.That is not all that marriage entails, there are challenges that come with marriage.Work on yourself and be the right spouse.
3) Forget about age:
Consciousness over your age, more often than not will make you marry the wrong person.Any decision you make in haste could end you up with the wrong partner.Do not be in a hurry to make decision because of age.
4) Study how he or she treats others:
The way a person treats others around is an indication as to how you will be treated sooner or later.
If you are dating a man that shouts at his driver because he is paying him, the moment you become his wife, he will soon do the same to you because it seems that he shouts at everyone under his authority.
5) You must know the persons character/temperament
Knowing the person’s temperament will help you to know the right person and to knOw the person’s strength that will help complement your weakness.
6)Your happiness:
Be sure your partner always wants to see you happy,if there are times he/she deliberately hurts you or makes you cry,be sure its something you can handle,if you can't oh please find an alternative.
7)Ask God:
Never leave God out of your business/affair, ask God if he/she is the right woman for you to avoid heartbreaks and hurts.
1, Do I respect and admire this person?
2. What specifically do I respect and admire about this person?
3. Do I trust this person?
4. Can I rely on them? Do I trust their judgment? Do I trust their word? Can I believe what they say?
5. Do I feel Safe? Do I feel emotionally safe with this person? Can I be vulnerable? Can I be myself? Can I be open? Can I express myself?
6. Do I feel calm and at peace with this person?
If the answer is “I don’t know, I’m not sure, etc.” keep evaluating until you know for sure and truly understand how you feel. If you don’t feel safe now, you won’t feel safe when you are married. If you don’t trust now, this won’t change when you are married!
Now read this too»»»
The following are some of the steps one needs to take to avoid marrying the wrong person:
1) Make sure that the drive is love and not infatuation:
Love is a decision to care for somebody, no matter what the person does or does not do.Love is a decision and not a feeling.Love suffers long,love is kind, bears all things,seeks not its own and thinks no evil.
Anytime you are in a relationship and the person is always insisting on his or her own,the person is not in love.
Love has the ability to stand the test of time but infatuation does not.Infatuation has a short life span.If you marry because of infatuation, you will have a horrible marriage.If you want to have a home without regrets, marry because you truly love the person.
2) Be the right spouse:
You must first be the right person to attract the right person.
Are you self-centered? Do you argue a lot? and full of yourself?Are your eyes only fixed on your honeymoon and the celebration?You may be deceiving yourself.That is not all that marriage entails, there are challenges that come with marriage.Work on yourself and be the right spouse.
3) Forget about age:
Consciousness over your age, more often than not will make you marry the wrong person.Any decision you make in haste could end you up with the wrong partner.Do not be in a hurry to make decision because of age.
4) Study how he or she treats others:
The way a person treats others around is an indication as to how you will be treated sooner or later.
If you are dating a man that shouts at his driver because he is paying him, the moment you become his wife, he will soon do the same to you because it seems that he shouts at everyone under his authority.
5) You must know the persons character/temperament
Knowing the person’s temperament will help you to know the right person and to knOw the person’s strength that will help complement your weakness.
6)Your happiness:
Be sure your partner always wants to see you happy,if there are times he/she deliberately hurts you or makes you cry,be sure its something you can handle,if you can't oh please find an alternative.
7)Ask God:
Advice For Women Who Date The Wrong Men
If a guy wants to be with you, he will tell you.
If you have to wonder if a guy likes you, the answer is no (or not enough).
When a guy finds a lady he really, really likes, he trips over his feet to get face time with her. (And that’s what you want, right? A guy who really, really likes you? It should be noted this letter is for women looking for long-term. Flings and casual daters: keep on keepin’ on.)
Don’t tell me you’re not smart enough or if only your boobs were a little bigger..
“He’s shy.” That’s fine. Shy guys still have a voicebox to say, “I like you” and fingers that can pick up a phone. “That’s not his style.” Sharing his thoughts with another human being isn’t his style? Is that a quality you’re looking for in a partner? “He likes being single.” The number of bad boys and perpetually single guys I’ve seen do a complete 180 when they’ve met the right girl is mind-numbingly high.
What are we making excuses for? Do you have friends and family who enjoy spending time with you on a regular basis? Good. That means there’s nothing wrong with YOU, there’s something wrong with HIM, so let’s go find the next HIM who realizes what a catch you are.
Can I tell you something? Guys are not “too busy” to text or call you. The leader of the free world has time to tuck his wife into bed, but you think the i-banker you met last week is too busy to dial your number?
Think of a friend. She knows how awesome she is. She’ll look you in the eye and tell you she’s among the funniest of her friends and family. She expects support from loved ones and offers it back in return. And yet when it comes to guys, It’s not just new guys. Sometimes it’s guys you’ve known forever but haven’t had the heart to accept there’s a reason only one of you has tried to take things to the next level. Then she goes on a date with a guy who looks her in the eye and tells her every guy who has passed on being with her is an idiot. That, is the difference between dating a boy and dating a man.
This whole thing may sound harsh and black-and-white. That’s because it is. You are a smart, funny, beautiful, kind, busy woman and you don’t have time to waste with “eh” guys who call you once in a while when they’re bored on weekends. Remember that guy a couple months ago that YOU felt kinda “meh” about and never called back? That guy is the love of someone’s life. Drop the frogs and let them drop you so you can both go about finding a better match.
You don’t see guys agonizing and analyzing every last nonverbal gesture for a clue, any clue! that the girl he hasn’t heard from is still somehow interested. Why do we, on the other hand, act like the one cute, kind of nice guy we met in a mall/office is the last chromosome we’ll ever have a shot with?
Stop going on dates with guys whose attention you have to fight for. The right guy won’t notice there’s anyone else in the room. Be smart!
If you have to wonder if a guy likes you, the answer is no (or not enough).
When a guy finds a lady he really, really likes, he trips over his feet to get face time with her. (And that’s what you want, right? A guy who really, really likes you? It should be noted this letter is for women looking for long-term. Flings and casual daters: keep on keepin’ on.)
Don’t tell me you’re not smart enough or if only your boobs were a little bigger..
“He’s shy.” That’s fine. Shy guys still have a voicebox to say, “I like you” and fingers that can pick up a phone. “That’s not his style.” Sharing his thoughts with another human being isn’t his style? Is that a quality you’re looking for in a partner? “He likes being single.” The number of bad boys and perpetually single guys I’ve seen do a complete 180 when they’ve met the right girl is mind-numbingly high.
What are we making excuses for? Do you have friends and family who enjoy spending time with you on a regular basis? Good. That means there’s nothing wrong with YOU, there’s something wrong with HIM, so let’s go find the next HIM who realizes what a catch you are.
Can I tell you something? Guys are not “too busy” to text or call you. The leader of the free world has time to tuck his wife into bed, but you think the i-banker you met last week is too busy to dial your number?
Think of a friend. She knows how awesome she is. She’ll look you in the eye and tell you she’s among the funniest of her friends and family. She expects support from loved ones and offers it back in return. And yet when it comes to guys, It’s not just new guys. Sometimes it’s guys you’ve known forever but haven’t had the heart to accept there’s a reason only one of you has tried to take things to the next level. Then she goes on a date with a guy who looks her in the eye and tells her every guy who has passed on being with her is an idiot. That, is the difference between dating a boy and dating a man.
This whole thing may sound harsh and black-and-white. That’s because it is. You are a smart, funny, beautiful, kind, busy woman and you don’t have time to waste with “eh” guys who call you once in a while when they’re bored on weekends. Remember that guy a couple months ago that YOU felt kinda “meh” about and never called back? That guy is the love of someone’s life. Drop the frogs and let them drop you so you can both go about finding a better match.
You don’t see guys agonizing and analyzing every last nonverbal gesture for a clue, any clue! that the girl he hasn’t heard from is still somehow interested. Why do we, on the other hand, act like the one cute, kind of nice guy we met in a mall/office is the last chromosome we’ll ever have a shot with?
Stop going on dates with guys whose attention you have to fight for. The right guy won’t notice there’s anyone else in the room. Be smart!
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Do You Know How Much God Loves You?
“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”
What a wonderful truth!!! The verse doesn't say that the great heart of God only loves Christians or religious people. The verse doesn't say that God only loves righteous people or churchgoers. The verse doesn't say that God only loves Bible-thumpers. The Word of God is clear that God loves “the world” (and that includes everyone). No matter who you are, God truly loves you.
“And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.” —1st John 2:2
Jesus died on the cross for all humanity, because God loves the whole world. This means that God loves the murderer. This means that God loves the adulterer. This means that God loves the homosexual. This means that God loves the crooked politician and the corrupt banker. This means that God loves the vilest sinner and the worst criminal. This means God even loves you. This means that God loves the Pope. Yes, God loves people! God loves all people, of all faiths, and all backgrounds.
“God loves you. It doesn't make any difference who you are. You can't keep Him from loving you. Now you can get into a place where you won't experience the love of God. When you put up an umbrella of sin, the sunshine of God's love sure won't fall on you. But it's still there for you.”
I've learned over the years to view people as objects of God's love. If I start to think critical about someone, I'll catch myself and say to my self, “That's a man that God loves” or “That's a woman that Jesus died for.” Oh, listen my friend, we're all created by the same divine Creator, and God knows what He is doing, even though we oftentimes cannot understand why things are the way they are, and at times one's life may seem so messed up.
"God knows the things that would have happened, if the things that did happen, hadn't happened!"
“But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ [i.e., made us alive in Christ], (by grace ye are saved;) And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus: That in the ages to come he might show the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God.” —Ephesians 2:4-8
What a precious passage in the Scripture. I cannot stress the truth enough that God loves people—all shapes and sizes, all different temperaments and personalities, all varying levels of intelligence and character, every race, every tongue, every nation, every family, et cetera. God loves people!
Ways To Relieve Stress
Stress seems to play a major role in today's fast-paced society. Studies have shown that 70 percent of employed Americans suffer stress-related conditions including anxiety and insomnia. Overbearing workloads can leave us feeling like there aren't enough hours in the day to accomplish everything we need to. Unfortunately, stress can also cause major health problems such as headaches, backaches and increased blood pressure.
The ability to relax and rejuvenate promotes vivacity and liveliness. Boosting your immune system is an important part of feeling youthful and maintaining your health. Here are ten healthy ways to relieve stress and leave your body feeling relaxed and refreshed.
1. Take a Warm Bath - It's a proven fact that warm water relaxes your body muscles and rids your body of stiffness and sore joints. Immersing yourself in hot water before bedtime causes your body temperature to rise, which enhances your ability to fall asleep faster. Also, by adding Epsom Salts to your bath (which are made of the mineral magnesium sulfate - a sedative for the nervous system), your skin will absorb the magnesium sulfate which sedates the nervous system and relaxes muscles. Soft music and candlelight is always a nice touch, too.
2. Massage Therapy - Massage plays an important role in training the body how to relax and getting rid of muscle knots. If your significant other isn't willing to participate in a little massage therapy, there are plenty of spas where you can spend an hour or two pampering yourself. Some massage therapists even have hot tubs that they place you in prior to your massage to loosen up your muscles.
3. Yoga and Stretching - Yoga trains you to build up a natural response to stress and bring the relaxed state of mind into your everyday life. The slow movements and controlled positions of yoga improve muscle strength, flexibility, breathing, blood circulation and promote mental focus and calmness. Stretching also reduces tension and anxiety and slows down your heart rate.
4. Music - Whether you realize it or not, music plays a big part in our lives. How many times have you exercised and felt motivated by a fast-paced song on the radio? Now, if that song were switched to a Celine Dion ballad, you can bet you wouldn't be running as fast on that treadmill. Listening to relaxing music is a great method of reducing stress and relieving anxiety. The calm, soothing sounds will reduce your tension, blood pressure, and promote feelings of tranquility. Be aware of how you feel when you hear certain songs, and keep listening to the ones that produce a relaxing effect.
5. Exercise - Regular physical activity strengthens your muscles and releases endorphins, which reduce pain and induce euphoria, therefore improving your mood and mental concentration. Even if you dedicate fifteen minutes a day to dancing around your house or riding a bicycle around your neighborhood, you'll find yourself feeling less stressed. So, not only is exercise good for the body, but it's good for the mind, too.
6. Drink Tea - Both black and green teas contain an amino acid called L-theanine, which produces a sense of calmness and relaxation by releasing neurotransmitters (like serotonin and endorphins) in the brain.
7. Sleep - Getting enough sleep is crucial to your health and has a huge impact on your stress levels. Lack of sleep can leave you feeling cranky, absent-minded and you may have difficulty concentrating on everyday tasks. When you sleep, your body and immune system have time to rejuvenate. Aim to get at least 8 hours of sleep each night because sufficient sleep benefits alertness and memory.
8. Take a Vacation - I know, not all of us can afford to hop on a plane whenever we feel stressed, but that doesn't mean that we can't create a mini-vacation of our own that's affordable. Instead of wishing you could escape to a tropical island, try opting for a realistic vacation instead. For example, I live in Boston and when I can't find the time to get away, I usually spend the weekend in Cape Cod or Martha's Vineyard so it feels like a relaxing getaway. Try finding a relaxing yet fun spot near you that you can venture off to for the weekend for some peace and quiet.
9. Make a To-Do List - Sometimes, the burdens of everyday life can be a bit overwhelming at times. I usually find myself getting stressed when I have too much to do and not enough time to finish everything. Whenever this happens, I sit down and write out a to-do list of everything that I need to get accomplished. That way, I know I won't forget any tasks and as I begin to cross off each item one by one, my stress slowly begins to dwindle.
10. Read a Book - There's not many things that are more relaxing that sitting down and letting nothing else into your mind except for the words on the page of a good book. Reading is a way to escape any stress in your life, educate yourself and keep your mind active.
The ability to relax and rejuvenate promotes vivacity and liveliness. Boosting your immune system is an important part of feeling youthful and maintaining your health. Here are ten healthy ways to relieve stress and leave your body feeling relaxed and refreshed.
1. Take a Warm Bath - It's a proven fact that warm water relaxes your body muscles and rids your body of stiffness and sore joints. Immersing yourself in hot water before bedtime causes your body temperature to rise, which enhances your ability to fall asleep faster. Also, by adding Epsom Salts to your bath (which are made of the mineral magnesium sulfate - a sedative for the nervous system), your skin will absorb the magnesium sulfate which sedates the nervous system and relaxes muscles. Soft music and candlelight is always a nice touch, too.
2. Massage Therapy - Massage plays an important role in training the body how to relax and getting rid of muscle knots. If your significant other isn't willing to participate in a little massage therapy, there are plenty of spas where you can spend an hour or two pampering yourself. Some massage therapists even have hot tubs that they place you in prior to your massage to loosen up your muscles.
3. Yoga and Stretching - Yoga trains you to build up a natural response to stress and bring the relaxed state of mind into your everyday life. The slow movements and controlled positions of yoga improve muscle strength, flexibility, breathing, blood circulation and promote mental focus and calmness. Stretching also reduces tension and anxiety and slows down your heart rate.
4. Music - Whether you realize it or not, music plays a big part in our lives. How many times have you exercised and felt motivated by a fast-paced song on the radio? Now, if that song were switched to a Celine Dion ballad, you can bet you wouldn't be running as fast on that treadmill. Listening to relaxing music is a great method of reducing stress and relieving anxiety. The calm, soothing sounds will reduce your tension, blood pressure, and promote feelings of tranquility. Be aware of how you feel when you hear certain songs, and keep listening to the ones that produce a relaxing effect.
5. Exercise - Regular physical activity strengthens your muscles and releases endorphins, which reduce pain and induce euphoria, therefore improving your mood and mental concentration. Even if you dedicate fifteen minutes a day to dancing around your house or riding a bicycle around your neighborhood, you'll find yourself feeling less stressed. So, not only is exercise good for the body, but it's good for the mind, too.
6. Drink Tea - Both black and green teas contain an amino acid called L-theanine, which produces a sense of calmness and relaxation by releasing neurotransmitters (like serotonin and endorphins) in the brain.
7. Sleep - Getting enough sleep is crucial to your health and has a huge impact on your stress levels. Lack of sleep can leave you feeling cranky, absent-minded and you may have difficulty concentrating on everyday tasks. When you sleep, your body and immune system have time to rejuvenate. Aim to get at least 8 hours of sleep each night because sufficient sleep benefits alertness and memory.
8. Take a Vacation - I know, not all of us can afford to hop on a plane whenever we feel stressed, but that doesn't mean that we can't create a mini-vacation of our own that's affordable. Instead of wishing you could escape to a tropical island, try opting for a realistic vacation instead. For example, I live in Boston and when I can't find the time to get away, I usually spend the weekend in Cape Cod or Martha's Vineyard so it feels like a relaxing getaway. Try finding a relaxing yet fun spot near you that you can venture off to for the weekend for some peace and quiet.
9. Make a To-Do List - Sometimes, the burdens of everyday life can be a bit overwhelming at times. I usually find myself getting stressed when I have too much to do and not enough time to finish everything. Whenever this happens, I sit down and write out a to-do list of everything that I need to get accomplished. That way, I know I won't forget any tasks and as I begin to cross off each item one by one, my stress slowly begins to dwindle.
10. Read a Book - There's not many things that are more relaxing that sitting down and letting nothing else into your mind except for the words on the page of a good book. Reading is a way to escape any stress in your life, educate yourself and keep your mind active.
Monday, January 14, 2013
Role Of A Man In Marriage
Dear husband,Newly married? Or have been married? Really want to understand the role you should play in your marriage? Ok, let me take you on this journey *wink*
Ephesians 5:25-33
Love your wife:
After giving the divine guidelines for the husband’s leadership and the wife’s submission, Paul devotes the next nine verses to explain the husband’s duty to submit to his wife through his love for her
In fact, a man’s primary role in the marriage is to love his wife. Everything else stems from this love.
This love is likened to the love that Christ has for the church, and believers possess Christ’s own nature and Holy Spirit, thus husbands can love their wives with a measure of Christ’s own kind of love.
This love is manifested in many ways.
PROTECTOR:
1 Peter 3:7
As the stronger vessel, man has an obligation to protect the weaker vessel.
PROVIDER:
Genesis 2:15
Man was designed to work, even before the fall.
Genesis 3:17-19
It is man’s responsibility to see that the family is fed.
WILLING TO DIE FOR HER – SACRIFICIAL LOVE:
Christ loved the church by giving “Himself up for her.” Romans 5:7–8 tells us about the depth of Christ’s love for the church.
Husbands, don’t tell me about your wife’s problems that make it hard to love her—you’re not as far removed from your wife as God was from sinners, yet He loved you.
Your wife may be a sinner, but so are you. Don’t lose that perspective.
Men who explain away their difficult marriages by claiming they no longer love their wives are being disobedient to God’s command.
God-type love is different then the world’s love, the world loves with an object-oriented love.
What that means is that the love is based on some physical attribute, or personality, its based on things that are subject to change.
It tends to be cliquish and overly selective, and this type of attitude can even affect Christians.
James 2:1-4
But that love is necessarily fickle because the moment the characteristic that motivated the love disappears, or loses its appeal, the love disappears.
Many marriages fall apart simply because the relationship was founded on that kind of love.
If God were going to love anything on the basis of its innate appeal, it would not have been the world, it would not have been us. We are all like unclean things.
Isaiah 64:6
Because God gave His children the capacity to love as He loves, He can command His love from them.
That means love is a choice we make—it is an act of our will as well as our heart.
Husbands, Scripture is not commanding you to love your wife because she deserves it but to love her even if she doesn’t deserve it.
Divine love is an act of selfless sacrifice.
When you love in that way, you’ll do what is needed without counting the cost or analyzing the need’s merit.
And your love will continue to meet the need whether it is received or rejected, appreciated or resented.
Husbands, as long as you’re looking for what you can get out of marriage, you will never know what it means to love your wife as Christ loved the church.
Look instead for what you can give: Be willing to make personal sacrifices for your wife, considering her needs and interests before your own (Phil. 2:3–4).
PURIFYING LOVE: vv. 26-27
When you love someone, that person’s purity is your goal. You can’t love a person and at the same time want to defile them.
Christ’s great love for His church does not allow Him to be content with any sin—with any moral or spiritual impurity.
But He doesn’t simply condemn wrong in those He loves; He seeks to cleanse them from it.
Don’t tempt your wife to sin, Love wants only the best for the one it loves, and it cannot bear for a loved one to be corrupted or misled by anything evil or harmful.
Love always seeks to purify.
CARING LOVE: vv.28-29
When your body has needs, you meet them. Your wife also has needs, and you’re to meet them just as diligently.
The husband who loves his wife as Christ loves the church will no more do anything to harm her than he will harm his own flesh.
When your wife needs strength, give her strength. When she needs encouragement, give her that. Whatever she needs, you are obligated to supply as best you can.
Don’t forget: You’re her divinely ordained provider and protector, but should that responsibility ever overwhelm you, recall that God is your Provider and Protector. He will help you do all that He requires.
Always remember that a wife is a God-given treasure to be cared for and cherished.
Proverbs 18:22
Don’t be harsh or resentful to your wife or allow yourself to be preoccupied with her flaws. She, like you, is bound to have plenty of them.
Respond with patience and loving leadership instead of masculine pride or outrage.
UNBREAKABLE LOVE: v.31
For a husband to love his wife as Christ loves His church he must love her with an unbreakable love.
Genesis 2:24
God’s standard for marriage has not changed.
One great barrier to successful marriages is the failure of one or both spouses to “leave … father and mother.”
A new family begins with a marriage, and while the relationships between child and parents still exist, they are severed as far as authority and responsibilities are concerned.
You need to love and care for your parents, but you cannot let them control your lives now that you’re married.
As a new husband and wife, you are to leave your parents and “cleave” to—be cemented to—each other.
You break one set of ties and establish another set. And don’t forget the second one is more binding and permanent than the first.
All of man’s duties – provider, protector, leader, etc are wrapped up in the command to love his wife. So, ultimately, man’s duty in marriage is all of the things that true, Godly love entails.
The Godly and obedient husband will always place his wife’s needs before his own.
He will be a picture of Christ in her life, and will earn the submission that God has asked of the wife.
The sacredness of marriage motivated Paul to conclude, “Let [the husband] love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband” (v. 33).
There is no more definitive statement of God’s ideal for marriage than that.
When Christian husbands and wives walk in the power of the Spirit, yield to His Word and His control, and are mutually submissive, blessing is the result.
Men, you have a choice. You can stand up and be the men that God has called you to be. By doing so you will be an example, a testimony, a blessing, and an encouragement to those around you.
You will instill the same attitude in your children, and your legacy will be a family that honors God.
Or, you can choose to ignore God’s plan, and live life as a weak and empty vessel, useless and spiritually dead.
You should never forget that, apart from obedience to God, your first responsibility is to your wife and children.
Your job is not your greatest priority, not your children’s college fund, not your savings account, your church isn’t even your greatest priority. It is your family.
Are you the man that God has called you to be?
If there is to be change in the church, change in society, it must start at home. And men, as the head of your family, the change must start with you first! You cannot demand of anyone else, what you are not willing to do.
The choice is yours
Ephesians 5:25-33
Love your wife:
After giving the divine guidelines for the husband’s leadership and the wife’s submission, Paul devotes the next nine verses to explain the husband’s duty to submit to his wife through his love for her
In fact, a man’s primary role in the marriage is to love his wife. Everything else stems from this love.
This love is likened to the love that Christ has for the church, and believers possess Christ’s own nature and Holy Spirit, thus husbands can love their wives with a measure of Christ’s own kind of love.
This love is manifested in many ways.
PROTECTOR:
1 Peter 3:7
As the stronger vessel, man has an obligation to protect the weaker vessel.
PROVIDER:
Genesis 2:15
Man was designed to work, even before the fall.
Genesis 3:17-19
It is man’s responsibility to see that the family is fed.
WILLING TO DIE FOR HER – SACRIFICIAL LOVE:
Christ loved the church by giving “Himself up for her.” Romans 5:7–8 tells us about the depth of Christ’s love for the church.
Husbands, don’t tell me about your wife’s problems that make it hard to love her—you’re not as far removed from your wife as God was from sinners, yet He loved you.
Your wife may be a sinner, but so are you. Don’t lose that perspective.
Men who explain away their difficult marriages by claiming they no longer love their wives are being disobedient to God’s command.
God-type love is different then the world’s love, the world loves with an object-oriented love.
What that means is that the love is based on some physical attribute, or personality, its based on things that are subject to change.
It tends to be cliquish and overly selective, and this type of attitude can even affect Christians.
James 2:1-4
But that love is necessarily fickle because the moment the characteristic that motivated the love disappears, or loses its appeal, the love disappears.
Many marriages fall apart simply because the relationship was founded on that kind of love.
If God were going to love anything on the basis of its innate appeal, it would not have been the world, it would not have been us. We are all like unclean things.
Isaiah 64:6
Because God gave His children the capacity to love as He loves, He can command His love from them.
That means love is a choice we make—it is an act of our will as well as our heart.
Husbands, Scripture is not commanding you to love your wife because she deserves it but to love her even if she doesn’t deserve it.
Divine love is an act of selfless sacrifice.
When you love in that way, you’ll do what is needed without counting the cost or analyzing the need’s merit.
And your love will continue to meet the need whether it is received or rejected, appreciated or resented.
Husbands, as long as you’re looking for what you can get out of marriage, you will never know what it means to love your wife as Christ loved the church.
Look instead for what you can give: Be willing to make personal sacrifices for your wife, considering her needs and interests before your own (Phil. 2:3–4).
PURIFYING LOVE: vv. 26-27
When you love someone, that person’s purity is your goal. You can’t love a person and at the same time want to defile them.
Christ’s great love for His church does not allow Him to be content with any sin—with any moral or spiritual impurity.
But He doesn’t simply condemn wrong in those He loves; He seeks to cleanse them from it.
Don’t tempt your wife to sin, Love wants only the best for the one it loves, and it cannot bear for a loved one to be corrupted or misled by anything evil or harmful.
Love always seeks to purify.
CARING LOVE: vv.28-29
When your body has needs, you meet them. Your wife also has needs, and you’re to meet them just as diligently.
The husband who loves his wife as Christ loves the church will no more do anything to harm her than he will harm his own flesh.
When your wife needs strength, give her strength. When she needs encouragement, give her that. Whatever she needs, you are obligated to supply as best you can.
Don’t forget: You’re her divinely ordained provider and protector, but should that responsibility ever overwhelm you, recall that God is your Provider and Protector. He will help you do all that He requires.
Always remember that a wife is a God-given treasure to be cared for and cherished.
Proverbs 18:22
Don’t be harsh or resentful to your wife or allow yourself to be preoccupied with her flaws. She, like you, is bound to have plenty of them.
Respond with patience and loving leadership instead of masculine pride or outrage.
UNBREAKABLE LOVE: v.31
For a husband to love his wife as Christ loves His church he must love her with an unbreakable love.
Genesis 2:24
God’s standard for marriage has not changed.
One great barrier to successful marriages is the failure of one or both spouses to “leave … father and mother.”
A new family begins with a marriage, and while the relationships between child and parents still exist, they are severed as far as authority and responsibilities are concerned.
You need to love and care for your parents, but you cannot let them control your lives now that you’re married.
As a new husband and wife, you are to leave your parents and “cleave” to—be cemented to—each other.
You break one set of ties and establish another set. And don’t forget the second one is more binding and permanent than the first.
All of man’s duties – provider, protector, leader, etc are wrapped up in the command to love his wife. So, ultimately, man’s duty in marriage is all of the things that true, Godly love entails.
The Godly and obedient husband will always place his wife’s needs before his own.
He will be a picture of Christ in her life, and will earn the submission that God has asked of the wife.
The sacredness of marriage motivated Paul to conclude, “Let [the husband] love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband” (v. 33).
There is no more definitive statement of God’s ideal for marriage than that.
When Christian husbands and wives walk in the power of the Spirit, yield to His Word and His control, and are mutually submissive, blessing is the result.
Men, you have a choice. You can stand up and be the men that God has called you to be. By doing so you will be an example, a testimony, a blessing, and an encouragement to those around you.
You will instill the same attitude in your children, and your legacy will be a family that honors God.
Or, you can choose to ignore God’s plan, and live life as a weak and empty vessel, useless and spiritually dead.
You should never forget that, apart from obedience to God, your first responsibility is to your wife and children.
Your job is not your greatest priority, not your children’s college fund, not your savings account, your church isn’t even your greatest priority. It is your family.
Are you the man that God has called you to be?
If there is to be change in the church, change in society, it must start at home. And men, as the head of your family, the change must start with you first! You cannot demand of anyone else, what you are not willing to do.
The choice is yours
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Signs She's Cheating On You
Something fishy is going on. For a while now, you’ve noticed some changes in your girlfriend’s behavior. She’s distant, busy and seems almost secretive. Is she cheating on you? Maybe. Don’t jump to any conclusions, but look for these warning signs so you can decide how to proceed.
Warning Level One
Warning Level One is often first indicators of cheating, but are just as often totally innocent. You don’t need to worry too much about any one of these but if you’re experiencing all of them…
Signs she’s cheating #1
She’s less affectionate
As unpleasant as it is to contemplate, she could be cheating because she’s lost interest, or she’s lost interest because she’s cheating. Either way, there’s no way she wants to be close to you. Disregard this sign if one or both of you have been ill recently.
Signs she’s cheating #2
She takes better care of herself
Now this could happen for many reasons, from wanting to impress a new lover or keeping a New Year’s or birthday resolution to just sick of being the “jeans and sweatshirt girl” at work. Don’t rely on this evidence alone.
Signs she’s cheating #3
She spends no time with your friends and family
Where once she was down for a night of hockey with the boys or having coffee with your folks, she now avoids these engagements as much as possible.
Signs she’s cheating #4
You’re fighting more
This isn’t necessarily a sign of cheating either, you two could both just be extra stressed. On the other hand, your lady might be trying to justify her two-timing behavior by lashing out at you, picking fights so she can feel like you’re in the wrong, too.
Warning Level Two
These clues are a little less easily explainable, and should cause you to pay a bit more attention to what she does.
Signs she’s cheating #5
She changes her schedule drastically
Since when does your girl have to work overtime every Saturday? Or go to the laundromat at 8 p.m. on Fridays? Or sign up for an early a.m. Pilates class when you know she hates morning traffic? Since she needed more excuses to get out of the apartment, that’s when. It’s not likely she’s doing it solo.
Signs she’s cheating #6
She starts using “I” not “We”
Somehow, all of a sudden, the two of you aren’t a unit anymore. She’s going out for dinner on her own, joining a book club, planning a cool mini-vaycay and buying new flatware. At one time, these would have been things you talked about and decided on together. You’re feelings don’t factor in anymore, because she has mentally (and physically) opted out of your partnership.
Signs she’s cheating #7
Her friends act weird around you
Allow me the generalization of claiming that women find total secrecy a difficult thing to maintain. If she’s being unfaithful, chances are, your girl has told at least one close friend or family member about it. They, in turn, may have spilled the proverbial beans, or at least feel badly for you. If you notice her friends or relatives avoiding your eyes or acting generally nervous and awkward, it could be a sign that they know something they can’t tell you... Hope this helps *wink*
Warning Level One
Warning Level One is often first indicators of cheating, but are just as often totally innocent. You don’t need to worry too much about any one of these but if you’re experiencing all of them…
Signs she’s cheating #1
She’s less affectionate
As unpleasant as it is to contemplate, she could be cheating because she’s lost interest, or she’s lost interest because she’s cheating. Either way, there’s no way she wants to be close to you. Disregard this sign if one or both of you have been ill recently.
Signs she’s cheating #2
She takes better care of herself
Now this could happen for many reasons, from wanting to impress a new lover or keeping a New Year’s or birthday resolution to just sick of being the “jeans and sweatshirt girl” at work. Don’t rely on this evidence alone.
Signs she’s cheating #3
She spends no time with your friends and family
Where once she was down for a night of hockey with the boys or having coffee with your folks, she now avoids these engagements as much as possible.
Signs she’s cheating #4
You’re fighting more
This isn’t necessarily a sign of cheating either, you two could both just be extra stressed. On the other hand, your lady might be trying to justify her two-timing behavior by lashing out at you, picking fights so she can feel like you’re in the wrong, too.
Warning Level Two
These clues are a little less easily explainable, and should cause you to pay a bit more attention to what she does.
Signs she’s cheating #5
She changes her schedule drastically
Since when does your girl have to work overtime every Saturday? Or go to the laundromat at 8 p.m. on Fridays? Or sign up for an early a.m. Pilates class when you know she hates morning traffic? Since she needed more excuses to get out of the apartment, that’s when. It’s not likely she’s doing it solo.
Signs she’s cheating #6
She starts using “I” not “We”
Somehow, all of a sudden, the two of you aren’t a unit anymore. She’s going out for dinner on her own, joining a book club, planning a cool mini-vaycay and buying new flatware. At one time, these would have been things you talked about and decided on together. You’re feelings don’t factor in anymore, because she has mentally (and physically) opted out of your partnership.
Signs she’s cheating #7
Her friends act weird around you
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Nollywood Actor Jerry Williams Listed As One Of Nollywood's Cutest Actors
Bringing to you a cute face from nollywood actor "Jerry Williams" who hails from Anambra started acting from childhood,actually at the age of five can you beat that?? Jerry williams grew into a tall,dark,cute and sexy young man and has had couple of movies to his credit. Although he hasn't been much of a regular face because it has been a lil difficult coping with his studies and doing movies but he's been working them out and finally he's done with school and now has the whole time to himself and of course Nollywood! Have you seen any of these movies? »The Anacondas,7books of moses,Tears of the innocent, Palace of blood,World of angels« and lots more! If you have am sure you didn't fail to recognise Mr cute face Jerry williams,he got 'em ladies screaming his name because his sexiness is so appealing I guess..
Am sure there's no room for argument here as jerry Williams has been listed as one of the top ten cutest guys in nollywood. Hope you did enjoy this *wink*
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Hard-To-Miss Signs That He's In love With You
What's on your mind? Do you think your man is truly inlove with you? Ok here»»
look for the hard-to-miss signs that he’s in love with you.
Signs that he is in love with you: He treats you with respect:
When a man is in love with a woman, he respects her. He cares about the details of her life. He treats her well. If your guy values your opinions, compliments your character, celebrates your accomplishments, pays attention to details, and even accommodates your quirky habits — He stocks the fridge with Diet Coke even though he can’t stand the stuff, for example — you’ve got a keeper who’s falling fast and hard for you.
Signs that he is in love with you: You’re always on his mind:
Does he send you funny texts during the day? Do songs, signs and hilarious headlines remind him of you? Does he Google last night’s unresolved debate — “Which is healthier: ice cream or gelato?” — when he’s at work? When you become a very present part of his day even when you’re apart, he’s invested in the relationship.
Signs that he is in love with you: He compromises:
Love can soften the heart. Being right isn’t as important as doing right by the other person. When your beau starts to meet you in the middle on topics he’s typically stubborn about — Maybe he’s a movie snob suddenly willing to let you pick a flick he’d otherwise never watch — he’s leading with his heart instead of his head. Signs of selflessness are huge indicators that he’s in love.
Signs that he is in love with you: He touches you in public:
Most guys have no qualms about touching their girlfriends in private. With public displays of affection, however, they can be a little more hesitant. When your man puts his arm around you in public, he’s both proudly announcing to the world that you’re together and making a protective gesture. Another love gesture: when he starts offering the hugs and cuddles you crave, with no expectation of sex. He wants to serve you with physical touch, not use it just to get what he wants.
Signs that he is in love with you: He wants to take care of you:
Women often roll their eyes at men’s “fix it” instincts; and while he may not be able to fix every bad day, the fact that he tries only points to the fact that he deeply cares about you. He wants to make things better. He wants to provide for you, practically and emotionally. He wants to make you smile. When he puts in the effort to comfort and reassure you, he’s saying “I love you” in both word and deed.
Signs that he is in love with you: He wants you to love his family:
Does he want you to meet everyone who’s important to him? When he’s ready to introduce you to people who matter most — and is equally eager to meet your friends and family — he has no intentions of going anywhere. He’s proud to be with you and wants his family to fall in love with you, too.
Signs that he is in love with you: He’s not afraid to fight — or apologize:
Sometimes it takes a fight or two to understand just how strong a relationship is. A man in love is one who isn’t afraid of conflict — or apologies. Instead, he fights fair, respects you when things get rocky, listens to your perspective, hates to see you upset, and wants to resolve things well. “Love means never having to say you’re sorry” is the most inaccurate movie tagline ever. (Sorry, “Love Story.”) Love means dropping the pride, admitting when you’re wrong and never being afraid to say you’re sorry.
Signs that he is in love with you: “We” has replaced “I”:
Listen to his word choices. When he starts using words like “we,” “us,” and “Team Awesome” — Each guy will have his own way to describe the unit you’ve become — he’s not thinking of himself as a single man anymore. You’re now part of his life. And he loves that.
Signs that he is in love with you: When he talks about the future, you’re in it:
Does he make plans for the future that include you? Did he invite you to his buddy’s wedding next fall? Does he joke about your future children together? When he’s got a future with you on his mind, he’s already decided that he has no intentions of letting you go.
Signs that he is in love with you: He says so:
If he says he loves you, believe him. A man in love can’t keep it to himself for long.
If he doesn't exhibit any of these or more sorry girl! you got the wrong feeling but he's not in love with you. Copy?
look for the hard-to-miss signs that he’s in love with you.
Signs that he is in love with you: He treats you with respect:
When a man is in love with a woman, he respects her. He cares about the details of her life. He treats her well. If your guy values your opinions, compliments your character, celebrates your accomplishments, pays attention to details, and even accommodates your quirky habits — He stocks the fridge with Diet Coke even though he can’t stand the stuff, for example — you’ve got a keeper who’s falling fast and hard for you.
Signs that he is in love with you: You’re always on his mind:
Does he send you funny texts during the day? Do songs, signs and hilarious headlines remind him of you? Does he Google last night’s unresolved debate — “Which is healthier: ice cream or gelato?” — when he’s at work? When you become a very present part of his day even when you’re apart, he’s invested in the relationship.
Signs that he is in love with you: He compromises:
Love can soften the heart. Being right isn’t as important as doing right by the other person. When your beau starts to meet you in the middle on topics he’s typically stubborn about — Maybe he’s a movie snob suddenly willing to let you pick a flick he’d otherwise never watch — he’s leading with his heart instead of his head. Signs of selflessness are huge indicators that he’s in love.
Signs that he is in love with you: He touches you in public:
Most guys have no qualms about touching their girlfriends in private. With public displays of affection, however, they can be a little more hesitant. When your man puts his arm around you in public, he’s both proudly announcing to the world that you’re together and making a protective gesture. Another love gesture: when he starts offering the hugs and cuddles you crave, with no expectation of sex. He wants to serve you with physical touch, not use it just to get what he wants.
Signs that he is in love with you: He wants to take care of you:
Women often roll their eyes at men’s “fix it” instincts; and while he may not be able to fix every bad day, the fact that he tries only points to the fact that he deeply cares about you. He wants to make things better. He wants to provide for you, practically and emotionally. He wants to make you smile. When he puts in the effort to comfort and reassure you, he’s saying “I love you” in both word and deed.
Signs that he is in love with you: He wants you to love his family:
Does he want you to meet everyone who’s important to him? When he’s ready to introduce you to people who matter most — and is equally eager to meet your friends and family — he has no intentions of going anywhere. He’s proud to be with you and wants his family to fall in love with you, too.
Signs that he is in love with you: He’s not afraid to fight — or apologize:
Sometimes it takes a fight or two to understand just how strong a relationship is. A man in love is one who isn’t afraid of conflict — or apologies. Instead, he fights fair, respects you when things get rocky, listens to your perspective, hates to see you upset, and wants to resolve things well. “Love means never having to say you’re sorry” is the most inaccurate movie tagline ever. (Sorry, “Love Story.”) Love means dropping the pride, admitting when you’re wrong and never being afraid to say you’re sorry.
Signs that he is in love with you: “We” has replaced “I”:
Listen to his word choices. When he starts using words like “we,” “us,” and “Team Awesome” — Each guy will have his own way to describe the unit you’ve become — he’s not thinking of himself as a single man anymore. You’re now part of his life. And he loves that.
Signs that he is in love with you: When he talks about the future, you’re in it:
Does he make plans for the future that include you? Did he invite you to his buddy’s wedding next fall? Does he joke about your future children together? When he’s got a future with you on his mind, he’s already decided that he has no intentions of letting you go.
Signs that he is in love with you: He says so:
If he says he loves you, believe him. A man in love can’t keep it to himself for long.
If he doesn't exhibit any of these or more sorry girl! you got the wrong feeling but he's not in love with you. Copy?
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Benefits Of Fruit And Vegetable
Fruit and vegetables are an important part of your daily diet. They are naturally good and contain vitamins and minerals that can help to keep you healthy. Research shows they can also help protect against some diseases.
Vitamins and minerals
Fruits and vegetables contain many vitamins and minerals that are good for your health. These include vitamins A (beta-carotene), C and E, magnesium, zinc, phosphorous and folic acid. Research into folic acid shows that it may reduce blood levels of homocysteine, a substance that may be a risk factor for coronary heart disease.
Eat more fruit and vegetables for your health
Fruits and vegetables are low in fat, salt and sugar and provide a good source of dietary fibre. As part of a well-balanced, regular diet and a healthy active lifestyle, a high intake of fruit and vegetables can help:
Reduce obesity and maintain a healthy weight
Lower your cholesterol
Lower your blood pressure.
Protect against diseases
Vegetables and fruit contain phytochemicals, or ‘plant chemicals’. These biologically active substances can help to protect you from some diseases. Scientific research shows that if you regularly eat lots of fruit and vegetables, you have a lower risk of:
Type 2 diabetes
Stroke
Heart (cardiovascular) disease – when fruits and vegetables are eaten as food, not taken as supplements
Cancer – some forms of cancer, later in life
High blood pressure (hypertension).
Different fruits and vegetables contain different nutrients. I'll recommend that adults eat at least five kinds of vegetable and two kinds of fruit every day. Results from a national nutrition survey conducted by the Australian Government indicate that Australians of all ages do not eat enough vegetables and fruit.
Children have a smaller stomach capacity and higher energy needs. They will not be able to eat the same serving sizes as adults; however, they should be encouraged to eat a variety of fruits and vegetables and start good practices early in life. By eating well, your children will have the energy they need to play, concentrate better, learn, sleep better and build stronger teeth and bones. Building good habits in the early years can also provide the protection of a healthy diet throughout their lives.
Vitamins and minerals
Fruits and vegetables contain many vitamins and minerals that are good for your health. These include vitamins A (beta-carotene), C and E, magnesium, zinc, phosphorous and folic acid. Research into folic acid shows that it may reduce blood levels of homocysteine, a substance that may be a risk factor for coronary heart disease.
Eat more fruit and vegetables for your health
Fruits and vegetables are low in fat, salt and sugar and provide a good source of dietary fibre. As part of a well-balanced, regular diet and a healthy active lifestyle, a high intake of fruit and vegetables can help:
Reduce obesity and maintain a healthy weight
Lower your cholesterol
Lower your blood pressure.
Protect against diseases
Vegetables and fruit contain phytochemicals, or ‘plant chemicals’. These biologically active substances can help to protect you from some diseases. Scientific research shows that if you regularly eat lots of fruit and vegetables, you have a lower risk of:
Type 2 diabetes
Stroke
Heart (cardiovascular) disease – when fruits and vegetables are eaten as food, not taken as supplements
Cancer – some forms of cancer, later in life
High blood pressure (hypertension).
Different fruits and vegetables contain different nutrients. I'll recommend that adults eat at least five kinds of vegetable and two kinds of fruit every day. Results from a national nutrition survey conducted by the Australian Government indicate that Australians of all ages do not eat enough vegetables and fruit.
Children have a smaller stomach capacity and higher energy needs. They will not be able to eat the same serving sizes as adults; however, they should be encouraged to eat a variety of fruits and vegetables and start good practices early in life. By eating well, your children will have the energy they need to play, concentrate better, learn, sleep better and build stronger teeth and bones. Building good habits in the early years can also provide the protection of a healthy diet throughout their lives.
5 Signs She's The Wrong Woman
1. She treats your pet(s) poorly.
She doesn’t have to be a dog or cat lover, but she should at least respect them as friends to you, just as she should respect your human friends. As “Man’s Best Friend,” your pet or dog was probably there for you long before the girlfriend entered the picture. If she has problems with your dog, she probably has problems with your friends as well. At some point, the discussion will come up: “Me or the dog?” The fact that she even will bring this point up is enough of a red flag to choose the dog because the next question she’ll ask you will inevitably be, “Me or your friends?”
If you do choose the girl over the dog, consider yourself officially neutered. Another good thing to remember is the way a woman cares for a pet or dog often simulates how she might treat your prospective children.
2. Sometimes, you just really hate her.
Sometimes all it takes is one little straw in a tornado to break through a brick. Suddenly, the little things she’s said and done all along bother you to the point where you can’t believe you are actually with this person. It could be a casual dinner outing where she talks down to your waiter as if he were invisible. Perhaps she treats people in the service industry so poorly that you get embarrassed any time you are out with her. If little things like this bother you, there could be more to these feelings of misgiving than simple irritation.
Maybe her beliefs and morals are just completely different than yours. While opposites attract, sometimes it’s backbone convictions and differences in being brought up that affect whether two people can make it work.
3. She doesn’t respect the rules of “Guys’ Night.”
You’re never allowed to do anything without a phone call from her or without you “checking in.” If she won’t let you hang out with your friends, then she obviously doesn’t trust you or respect your independence. You might be a part of a “couple,” but you are still a person, an individual who can do what he likes to do. If it’s cheating on said girlfriend, then that is on your shoulders.
However, anything other than cheating or criminal activity should be respected.
4. You still hold a torch for someone else.
If you enjoy your time with her, but still wish she was someone else (someone you used to be in love with), then you are definitely dating the wrong girl. And you shouldn’t wait another minute before letting this girl down gently and moving on. The worst thing you can do is lead this person on to the point where she thinks of your relationship as “serious” while you think of it as a holdover until the next one comes along (or the right one comes back).
5. She doesn’t abide by the rules in the following “car” scenario.
One simple trick will tell you whether she’s “the one” or not. All it takes is a car, two people, and one locked door. While automatic locks and car alarms might vary results of this test, it’s still a good litmus for a person’s worth. First, the man should open the passenger door for the woman, unlocking the door and helping her into the seat. Then, he should head over to his driver’s side door, fumbling with his keys to open his door. The man should struggle for a few seconds, whether it’s dropping his keys or losing track of which key unlocks the door (again, this test would work better on an older vehicle). If the woman unlocks the door for the man from the passenger side, she’s a keeper. If she sits there and plays with her cell phone, throw this one back.
She doesn’t have to be a dog or cat lover, but she should at least respect them as friends to you, just as she should respect your human friends. As “Man’s Best Friend,” your pet or dog was probably there for you long before the girlfriend entered the picture. If she has problems with your dog, she probably has problems with your friends as well. At some point, the discussion will come up: “Me or the dog?” The fact that she even will bring this point up is enough of a red flag to choose the dog because the next question she’ll ask you will inevitably be, “Me or your friends?”
If you do choose the girl over the dog, consider yourself officially neutered. Another good thing to remember is the way a woman cares for a pet or dog often simulates how she might treat your prospective children.
2. Sometimes, you just really hate her.
Sometimes all it takes is one little straw in a tornado to break through a brick. Suddenly, the little things she’s said and done all along bother you to the point where you can’t believe you are actually with this person. It could be a casual dinner outing where she talks down to your waiter as if he were invisible. Perhaps she treats people in the service industry so poorly that you get embarrassed any time you are out with her. If little things like this bother you, there could be more to these feelings of misgiving than simple irritation.
Maybe her beliefs and morals are just completely different than yours. While opposites attract, sometimes it’s backbone convictions and differences in being brought up that affect whether two people can make it work.
3. She doesn’t respect the rules of “Guys’ Night.”
You’re never allowed to do anything without a phone call from her or without you “checking in.” If she won’t let you hang out with your friends, then she obviously doesn’t trust you or respect your independence. You might be a part of a “couple,” but you are still a person, an individual who can do what he likes to do. If it’s cheating on said girlfriend, then that is on your shoulders.
However, anything other than cheating or criminal activity should be respected.
4. You still hold a torch for someone else.
If you enjoy your time with her, but still wish she was someone else (someone you used to be in love with), then you are definitely dating the wrong girl. And you shouldn’t wait another minute before letting this girl down gently and moving on. The worst thing you can do is lead this person on to the point where she thinks of your relationship as “serious” while you think of it as a holdover until the next one comes along (or the right one comes back).
5. She doesn’t abide by the rules in the following “car” scenario.
One simple trick will tell you whether she’s “the one” or not. All it takes is a car, two people, and one locked door. While automatic locks and car alarms might vary results of this test, it’s still a good litmus for a person’s worth. First, the man should open the passenger door for the woman, unlocking the door and helping her into the seat. Then, he should head over to his driver’s side door, fumbling with his keys to open his door. The man should struggle for a few seconds, whether it’s dropping his keys or losing track of which key unlocks the door (again, this test would work better on an older vehicle). If the woman unlocks the door for the man from the passenger side, she’s a keeper. If she sits there and plays with her cell phone, throw this one back.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Tolerating People
Tolerance is an important factor, a virtue that is much needed and desired in our day to day existence. Looking around us, we find many people who are unique, different or totally miles apart from us. To bear or survive with such people, approve or disapprove of their thinking and their gestures is something that is constantly related and is deeply associated with the word “tolerance”.
In our lives, we must have observed many people who we don’t appreciate much, who have stark differences to what we are and who we are. Mostly our difference lies with the collision of our moral and ethical values. Our standards of good and evil and our lack or difference of understanding with others is what gets bothersome. This is the root cause of our disparity with each other.The question is how to deal with such situations where you meet a person or you are put in a situation where your viewpoint seems poles apart from others. What exact should be our attitude at that particular time. Below we will focus on some of the very core points which need to be adjusted or added if want to survive in a happy environment.
The key to tolerance is learning to co-exist with each other. With a little bit of effort on our part of being patient we can live,laugh and share with each other.
CONTROL YOUR RESPONSE:
Whatever the different situation you have to go through or how irritated you might get, the very first thing you have to do is to watch your own self. Your reaction and response is important and mostly it is the reaction that will make the situation good or bad. This is the basic requirement and if you can master this, you might be able to handle everything well.
DISTINCTION BETWEEN TOLERANCE AND BAD BEHAVIOR:
Another foremost thing which must be taken care of is to learn establish the distinction between tolerance and a bad behavior. We must know where to set our line and where not to cross certain limit. True, a difference of opinion is always there, but we have to present our point of view in a way that it shouldn’t be conceived or termed as a bad attitude on our part. Just like being diplomatic that is often put through as “the ability to tell a person to go to hell in such a way that he actually looks forward to a trip”. We must recognize the need of this distinction.
BE CONSIDERATE:
We also have to be mindful of the fact that our opinions, habits and styles are different from each other. The religious and the cultural differences also count a lot. So before reacting to a certain person or a situation, we must take care of these facts, look and react at things with an open mind and a bit of consideration.
The Intolerance of Tolerance
The key of tolerance is to stay cool in every way. Always remember patience is a virtue and that is something which needs to be developed in ourselves. Also if we really want a moral reformation in others, we need to correct ourselves first. The attitude is something that really counts and a good behavior comes through patience. We must never let the patience slip away.
Learning to co-exist is the key to tolerance. With a little bit of effort, understanding and patience we can share, laugh and live together. To stay open minded towards the existing dis similarities makes you truly enjoy the essence of surviving with each other. It is all about your acceptance and your reaction towards others moral values and also not forgetting that tolerance is the necessary part of the new ethics.
In our lives, we must have observed many people who we don’t appreciate much, who have stark differences to what we are and who we are. Mostly our difference lies with the collision of our moral and ethical values. Our standards of good and evil and our lack or difference of understanding with others is what gets bothersome. This is the root cause of our disparity with each other.The question is how to deal with such situations where you meet a person or you are put in a situation where your viewpoint seems poles apart from others. What exact should be our attitude at that particular time. Below we will focus on some of the very core points which need to be adjusted or added if want to survive in a happy environment.
The key to tolerance is learning to co-exist with each other. With a little bit of effort on our part of being patient we can live,laugh and share with each other.
CONTROL YOUR RESPONSE:
Whatever the different situation you have to go through or how irritated you might get, the very first thing you have to do is to watch your own self. Your reaction and response is important and mostly it is the reaction that will make the situation good or bad. This is the basic requirement and if you can master this, you might be able to handle everything well.
DISTINCTION BETWEEN TOLERANCE AND BAD BEHAVIOR:
Another foremost thing which must be taken care of is to learn establish the distinction between tolerance and a bad behavior. We must know where to set our line and where not to cross certain limit. True, a difference of opinion is always there, but we have to present our point of view in a way that it shouldn’t be conceived or termed as a bad attitude on our part. Just like being diplomatic that is often put through as “the ability to tell a person to go to hell in such a way that he actually looks forward to a trip”. We must recognize the need of this distinction.
BE CONSIDERATE:
We also have to be mindful of the fact that our opinions, habits and styles are different from each other. The religious and the cultural differences also count a lot. So before reacting to a certain person or a situation, we must take care of these facts, look and react at things with an open mind and a bit of consideration.
The Intolerance of Tolerance
The key of tolerance is to stay cool in every way. Always remember patience is a virtue and that is something which needs to be developed in ourselves. Also if we really want a moral reformation in others, we need to correct ourselves first. The attitude is something that really counts and a good behavior comes through patience. We must never let the patience slip away.
Learning to co-exist is the key to tolerance. With a little bit of effort, understanding and patience we can share, laugh and live together. To stay open minded towards the existing dis similarities makes you truly enjoy the essence of surviving with each other. It is all about your acceptance and your reaction towards others moral values and also not forgetting that tolerance is the necessary part of the new ethics.
We Wish Bobby Nnadiekwe A Happy Birthday Today
We have three wishes for you on your birthday. First, we wish that this Birthday teaches you something new and beautiful. Second, we wish that you have a day that you'll remember forever with a smile. And third, we wish that such days keep coming in every single day.
For The Guys: 10 Signs She's Not Interested Anymore..
1. She doesn't look you directly in the eyes. When we want to know someone more intimately, we strive to maintain eye contact. It's like looking into the depth of the other person, searching for more of them.
2. She doesn't engage in conversation. She's aloof to what is being discussed and doesn't offer much to the conversation. You begin to feel you are talking to a brick wall.
3. She doesn't ask questions about you, your life. Anything she knows, you've had to offer the information. Sharing what is happening in your life, your interests begins to feel futile in your attempts.
4. She only wants to be with you when it benefits her. Otherwise, she makes no effort to be part of your life.
5. Her body language is stiff, not open to you. When a woman is interested, her body language is warm and welcoming. She stands in close proximity to you, wanting to be near.
6. She suddenly becomes busier than usual. She makes excuses not to be with you and most of the excuses are rather lame. Her time devoted to you becomes less frequent. She may not answer her phone for days.
7. She shows no enthusiasm in your presence. You sense she would rather be anywhere but with you. She may act aloof or bored and easily distracted away from you.
8. She doesn't confide in you. Her life is a mystery and she isn't willing to let you in.
9. She lies. Someone who is genuinely interested wants to be seen as honest and trustworthy. She doesn't want to take the chance of losing you.
10. She's argumentative, disagreeing with you about everything. She may start arguments over the most trivial of things and possibly placing blame on you when it isn't justified.
If the woman is new in your life, give it some time to know her better. If you've known her a good while, it's time for a heart to heart discussion to get to the bottom of the matter, as to why she's suddenly sending signals. Hope this helps.. Thank me later!
2. She doesn't engage in conversation. She's aloof to what is being discussed and doesn't offer much to the conversation. You begin to feel you are talking to a brick wall.
3. She doesn't ask questions about you, your life. Anything she knows, you've had to offer the information. Sharing what is happening in your life, your interests begins to feel futile in your attempts.
4. She only wants to be with you when it benefits her. Otherwise, she makes no effort to be part of your life.
5. Her body language is stiff, not open to you. When a woman is interested, her body language is warm and welcoming. She stands in close proximity to you, wanting to be near.
6. She suddenly becomes busier than usual. She makes excuses not to be with you and most of the excuses are rather lame. Her time devoted to you becomes less frequent. She may not answer her phone for days.
7. She shows no enthusiasm in your presence. You sense she would rather be anywhere but with you. She may act aloof or bored and easily distracted away from you.
8. She doesn't confide in you. Her life is a mystery and she isn't willing to let you in.
9. She lies. Someone who is genuinely interested wants to be seen as honest and trustworthy. She doesn't want to take the chance of losing you.
10. She's argumentative, disagreeing with you about everything. She may start arguments over the most trivial of things and possibly placing blame on you when it isn't justified.
If the woman is new in your life, give it some time to know her better. If you've known her a good while, it's time for a heart to heart discussion to get to the bottom of the matter, as to why she's suddenly sending signals. Hope this helps.. Thank me later!
Thursday, January 3, 2013
How To Be Happy Again
God has given us the power to think, create, love, and imagine. And the greatest power of all that He's given us is the power to choose! It's up to us whether we choose to believe, or to doubt. It's up to us to choose to act upon something or to procrastinate. And it's up to us whether we want to be happy or sad. By coming here, you've taken one step towards learning how to be happy again. Keep going!
There is absolutely a whole slew of things you can do to help yourself to feel happier. And it IS about helping yourself. Know that no one else can make you happy - Only you.
With that being said, let's get started. Yes, the picture says 5 simple rules. But after having lived some life, I've discovered a few more. =)
Here are several ideas to help jar your noggin on how to be happy again. =)
Free Your Heart From Hatred: Don't hold grudges. Get rid of that negative thinking. Be quick to forgive.
Free Your Mind From Worries:Do what you can about your problems, and leave the rest to God. Worry is good for nothing, and is truly bad for your health.
Live Simply: Some of life's simple pleasures can bring you much more joy than any fancy material object. Enjoy that warm cup of mocha, that special moment with a friend, or the wind on your face.
Give More: Volunteer a couple of hours a week in your own community. Helping others can help take your mind off of your own troubles. Go to church and tithe ten percent knowing you are contributing to God's will.
Expect Less: Do all you can for yourself without expecting others to do it for you. Expect that check to be smaller, then you will be pleasantly surprised when you find out it's bigger!
Be Grateful: Count your blessings. There is always something to be thankful for. You are breathing, right? You are alive and are able to think, right? Remember that there is always someone else in this world who has itworse than you.
Chose Your Attitude: Have the attitude of gratitude. When you get up in the morning, choose to have a good attitude. It may be the most critical thing you do. Be thankful for another day of life!
Listen to Happy Music: If you find yourself in a bad mood, play some of your favorite, soothing music that will help lift your spirits. You can go to pandora.com and find free music to listen to right at your computer.
Hang with Positive Friends: Friends who are positive believe in themselves and what they are doing. They a have positive attitude, and by being with them can help show you how to be happy again.
Eat Healthy: Some foods will worsen depression, and some will actually help you feel better. Work at changing some of your eating habits. Research if you need to. Find out which foods make you feel worse or better.
Think Positively: This is a big one. Retraining your brain is an ever going process. And there's no better time to start than now! Invest in a book or cd that will lift your spirits and motivate you, and can guide you with direct steps on how to be happy again. It really does help! And it's so worth it.
Get Inspired: What does it take for you to get inspired? Think about what inspires you and put those things in front of yourself.
Pray: This one should be obvious to everyone. We should be praying everyday. Ask God to help you find your inner happiness.
Affirmations: Make a list of positive affirmations for yourself to use daily. Say them out loud so you can actually hear yourself.
Watch Funny TV.: Watch a favorite funny TV show. Look it up on the internet if it isn't on your television networks.
Get Angry: Maybe you need to let out some anger before you can begin to feel better. Just be sure you can do it in a safe way, so no one gets hurt! Let itout at the gym, by exercising, punching the bag, or running.
Save this website, as it will be growing with much more valuable information for you. You've only just begun
There is absolutely a whole slew of things you can do to help yourself to feel happier. And it IS about helping yourself. Know that no one else can make you happy - Only you.
With that being said, let's get started. Yes, the picture says 5 simple rules. But after having lived some life, I've discovered a few more. =)
Here are several ideas to help jar your noggin on how to be happy again. =)
Free Your Heart From Hatred: Don't hold grudges. Get rid of that negative thinking. Be quick to forgive.
Free Your Mind From Worries:Do what you can about your problems, and leave the rest to God. Worry is good for nothing, and is truly bad for your health.
Live Simply: Some of life's simple pleasures can bring you much more joy than any fancy material object. Enjoy that warm cup of mocha, that special moment with a friend, or the wind on your face.
Give More: Volunteer a couple of hours a week in your own community. Helping others can help take your mind off of your own troubles. Go to church and tithe ten percent knowing you are contributing to God's will.
Expect Less: Do all you can for yourself without expecting others to do it for you. Expect that check to be smaller, then you will be pleasantly surprised when you find out it's bigger!
Be Grateful: Count your blessings. There is always something to be thankful for. You are breathing, right? You are alive and are able to think, right? Remember that there is always someone else in this world who has itworse than you.
Chose Your Attitude: Have the attitude of gratitude. When you get up in the morning, choose to have a good attitude. It may be the most critical thing you do. Be thankful for another day of life!
Listen to Happy Music: If you find yourself in a bad mood, play some of your favorite, soothing music that will help lift your spirits. You can go to pandora.com and find free music to listen to right at your computer.
Hang with Positive Friends: Friends who are positive believe in themselves and what they are doing. They a have positive attitude, and by being with them can help show you how to be happy again.
Eat Healthy: Some foods will worsen depression, and some will actually help you feel better. Work at changing some of your eating habits. Research if you need to. Find out which foods make you feel worse or better.
Think Positively: This is a big one. Retraining your brain is an ever going process. And there's no better time to start than now! Invest in a book or cd that will lift your spirits and motivate you, and can guide you with direct steps on how to be happy again. It really does help! And it's so worth it.
Get Inspired: What does it take for you to get inspired? Think about what inspires you and put those things in front of yourself.
Pray: This one should be obvious to everyone. We should be praying everyday. Ask God to help you find your inner happiness.
Affirmations: Make a list of positive affirmations for yourself to use daily. Say them out loud so you can actually hear yourself.
Watch Funny TV.: Watch a favorite funny TV show. Look it up on the internet if it isn't on your television networks.
Get Angry: Maybe you need to let out some anger before you can begin to feel better. Just be sure you can do it in a safe way, so no one gets hurt! Let itout at the gym, by exercising, punching the bag, or running.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
The Role Of Fathers
There is a tendency today to speak of 'parents' or 'carers' rather than 'mothers' or 'fathers'. People often say that the most important thing in raising children is to give them lots of love, something that all parents can do, regardless of whether they are a mother or a father. However, there are also many ways that mothers and fathers can bring unique strengths to their relationships with their children. In real people's lives, you can see these contributions, and they have been measured by social scientists. Fathers-just like mothers-always matter.
Two Heads are Better Than One
Richness of Care
A child who has both a mother and a father benefits from an increased richness of care. In other words, children with both a mother and a father can benefit from more caring, as well as a variety of caring styles.
Bridges to the World
Through their fathers and mothers, children have access to a vast network including grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles, friends of the family, work colleagues, community organisations, faith communities, and even personal histories. Fathers and mothers provide 'bridges' to all these aspects of the outside world, providing more experiences for children as well as practical opportunities such as job possibilities.
Mothers Benefit from Fathers' Support
If a mother can count on her children's father to help with keeping the house clean and in good repair, caring for the children, paying the bills, and planning for the future, she probably will be a happier, more effective parent. The support a mother receives from her child's father can even help her be more competent and sensitive when feeding her baby. Mothers seem to gain the most security when they are married and know the father is committed to a lifelong relationship to her and their child.
Breadwinning
Today, most families rely upon the incomes of both mothers and fathers. However, fathers still provide the lion's share of income. Fathers are either the sole earners or the main earners in two-thirds of two-parent households. Moreover, fathers' earnings are uniquely linked to many positive results for children, even when mothers' earnings are taken into consideration.
Complementary Roles
It often is useful, as well as accurate, to generalize about average differences between men and women. Whether these differences are due more to inborn biological chemistry, or social pressures, or some combination of the two, is much debated.
It is generally agreed that men and women should no longer be regarded as 'opposites'. The important thing to remember is that mothers and fathers often bring different strengths and styles to their parenting roles. These roles complement each other, meaning that they are not interchangeable and are each necessary for healthy childtraining
'Do fathers and mothers have different styles of play? Consider these two examples: a father picks up his son, seven-month-old David, tosses him in the air, and throws his head back so that he and David are face to face. As David giggles and chortles, his father lowers him, shakes him, and tosses him up in the air again. A mother sits her daughter, ten-month-old Lisa, on her lap and pulls out her favourite toy, a green donkey that brays when you squeeze it. Lisa smiles, and for the next few minutes her mother moves the donkey in front of Lisa's eyes, makes it bray, and talks and sings to her daughter. Lisa watches intently, smiles, and occasionally reaches for her donkey. Are these examples merely cultural stereotypes, or do mothers and fathers really play with their babies in different ways? A series of studies confirm that differences in parental play styles do exist.'
From the book Fatherhood, by Ross Parke
How Fathers Influence
Children As They Grow
In the past, psychologists studying the development of children focused almost exclusively on children's relationships with their mothers. Today, they have come to agree that fathers play a unique and crucial role in nurturing and guiding children's development. Many experts now believe that fathers can be just as nurturing and sensitive with their babies as mothers. As their children grow, fathers take on added roles of guiding their children's intellectual and social development. Even when a father is 'just playing' with his children, he is nurturing their development.
Fathers and Babies
Babies need predictability and security, which they get when their mother and father respond consistently, promptly, and appropriately to their cries, smiles and other signals. As a baby develops a relationship with his or her mother and father, he comes to prefer them to other adults, in a process known as attachment. Psychologists agree that babies with secure attachments to their parents have better chances to develop into happy, successful, and well-adjusted children and adults. Mothers tend to be relied upon more than fathers for the comfort and security components of attachment, primarily because they are usually the infant's main caregiver. Babies also form attachments to their fathers, who tend to be just as responsive to their babies' bids for attention as mothers. When fathers spend more time with their babies, they get to know exactly what each of their baby's signals mean. This familiarity allows fathers to respond sensitively, meaning that they know when their baby is hungry rather than when he just wants a change of scenery.
The effects of attachment on children are broad and long-lasting. For example, one study found that primary school children scored higher on tests of empathy-the ability to see a situation from another person's viewpoint-if they had secure attachments to their fathers during infancy. These children were able to recognize how other children felt and took steps to make them feel better.
Both mothers and fathers encourage their babies to investigate the world, manipulate objects, and explore physical relationships. However, mothers and fathers have different styles of relating. Mothers tend to speak soothingly and softly in repetitive rhythms to their infants and snugly hold them. Fathers tend to provide more verbal and physical stimulation, by patting their babies gently and communicating to them with sharp bursts of sound. As babies grow older, many come to prefer playing with their fathers who provide unpredictable, stimulating, and exciting interaction. This stimulation is important because it fosters healthy development of the baby's brain and can have lasting effects on children's social, emotional, and intellectual development. Infants with involved fathers tend to score higher on tests of thinking skills and brain development.
Both the mother and the father are important to an infant's development in special ways. For example, in one study, baby boys whose fathers engaged in physically playful, affectionate and stimulating play during infancy were more popular later as school children. Mothers influenced their sons' popularity through a different route, by providing verbal stimulation
Fathers and Small Children
When babies become toddlers, parents must go beyond nurturing them and begin to address two additional needs: supporting their toddler's exploration and setting appropriate limits for the child. Through playing with their toddlers, fathers take a special role in achieving these two goals. Children learn from them how to solve problems and how to get along with others.
Fathers spend a larger proportion of their time playing with their young children than mothers do, and they tend to be more boisterous and active in their play. Most children enjoy this kind of play. Even if their fathers spend less time with them than their mothers, fathers become salient, or meaningful and special, to their children through play.
When fathers play with their toddlers, they are not just entertaining them. They are providing a safe, yet challenging arena for toddlers to learn how to interact with the world and with others. Through rough-and-tumble play, fathers create obstacles for their children and demand respect for limits and boundaries. At the same time, they challenge their children and encourage them to explore their own strength, their ability to do new things, and their impact on the world around them. Toddlers who must work out for themselves how to achieve goals-such as retrieving a ball that is just out of reach in their father's hand or wrestling their father to the ground-are practicing important problem-solving skills. In fact, when fathers are good at playing with their young children, these children score higher on tests of thinking and problem-solving skills.
Playing with fathers also helps children develop emotional knowledge, so that they can identify their own emotions, acknowledge the emotional experiences of others, and describe the causes of emotions. Toddlers must also learn emotional regulation, the ability to express emotions responsibly and control their behaviour. To understand how much emotional regulation develops during early childhood, one can picture a toddler in the midst of an angry temper tantrum, holding his breath until he gets his way. Contrast this with a four-year-old who feels frustrated that the rain has ruined his plans to play football, yet moves beyond those feelings and engages in a board game with his sister instead. When children understand their emotions and know how to control them, it makes them more popular with other children.
The father's influence on emotional development is not limited to play, but also comes through direct teaching and daily interaction. Studies have shown that, when fathers are affectionate and helpful, their children are more likely to get on well with their brothers and sisters. When children have fathers who are emotionally involved-that is, they acknowledge their children's emotions and help them deal with bad emotions-they score higher on tests of 'emotional intelligence'. Moreover, they tend to have better relationships with other children and behave less aggressively. Fathers' involvement in their young children's care can even last well into adulthood. Mothers seem to have much less impact in this area of emotional regulation and peer relationships than fathers. It really is fathers who can have a major influence on helping their children build strong social relationships during childhood and later in life.
Two Heads are Better Than One
Richness of Care
A child who has both a mother and a father benefits from an increased richness of care. In other words, children with both a mother and a father can benefit from more caring, as well as a variety of caring styles.
Bridges to the World
Through their fathers and mothers, children have access to a vast network including grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles, friends of the family, work colleagues, community organisations, faith communities, and even personal histories. Fathers and mothers provide 'bridges' to all these aspects of the outside world, providing more experiences for children as well as practical opportunities such as job possibilities.
Mothers Benefit from Fathers' Support
If a mother can count on her children's father to help with keeping the house clean and in good repair, caring for the children, paying the bills, and planning for the future, she probably will be a happier, more effective parent. The support a mother receives from her child's father can even help her be more competent and sensitive when feeding her baby. Mothers seem to gain the most security when they are married and know the father is committed to a lifelong relationship to her and their child.
Breadwinning
Today, most families rely upon the incomes of both mothers and fathers. However, fathers still provide the lion's share of income. Fathers are either the sole earners or the main earners in two-thirds of two-parent households. Moreover, fathers' earnings are uniquely linked to many positive results for children, even when mothers' earnings are taken into consideration.
Complementary Roles
It often is useful, as well as accurate, to generalize about average differences between men and women. Whether these differences are due more to inborn biological chemistry, or social pressures, or some combination of the two, is much debated.
It is generally agreed that men and women should no longer be regarded as 'opposites'. The important thing to remember is that mothers and fathers often bring different strengths and styles to their parenting roles. These roles complement each other, meaning that they are not interchangeable and are each necessary for healthy childtraining
'Do fathers and mothers have different styles of play? Consider these two examples: a father picks up his son, seven-month-old David, tosses him in the air, and throws his head back so that he and David are face to face. As David giggles and chortles, his father lowers him, shakes him, and tosses him up in the air again. A mother sits her daughter, ten-month-old Lisa, on her lap and pulls out her favourite toy, a green donkey that brays when you squeeze it. Lisa smiles, and for the next few minutes her mother moves the donkey in front of Lisa's eyes, makes it bray, and talks and sings to her daughter. Lisa watches intently, smiles, and occasionally reaches for her donkey. Are these examples merely cultural stereotypes, or do mothers and fathers really play with their babies in different ways? A series of studies confirm that differences in parental play styles do exist.'
From the book Fatherhood, by Ross Parke
How Fathers Influence
Children As They Grow
In the past, psychologists studying the development of children focused almost exclusively on children's relationships with their mothers. Today, they have come to agree that fathers play a unique and crucial role in nurturing and guiding children's development. Many experts now believe that fathers can be just as nurturing and sensitive with their babies as mothers. As their children grow, fathers take on added roles of guiding their children's intellectual and social development. Even when a father is 'just playing' with his children, he is nurturing their development.
Fathers and Babies
Babies need predictability and security, which they get when their mother and father respond consistently, promptly, and appropriately to their cries, smiles and other signals. As a baby develops a relationship with his or her mother and father, he comes to prefer them to other adults, in a process known as attachment. Psychologists agree that babies with secure attachments to their parents have better chances to develop into happy, successful, and well-adjusted children and adults. Mothers tend to be relied upon more than fathers for the comfort and security components of attachment, primarily because they are usually the infant's main caregiver. Babies also form attachments to their fathers, who tend to be just as responsive to their babies' bids for attention as mothers. When fathers spend more time with their babies, they get to know exactly what each of their baby's signals mean. This familiarity allows fathers to respond sensitively, meaning that they know when their baby is hungry rather than when he just wants a change of scenery.
The effects of attachment on children are broad and long-lasting. For example, one study found that primary school children scored higher on tests of empathy-the ability to see a situation from another person's viewpoint-if they had secure attachments to their fathers during infancy. These children were able to recognize how other children felt and took steps to make them feel better.
Both mothers and fathers encourage their babies to investigate the world, manipulate objects, and explore physical relationships. However, mothers and fathers have different styles of relating. Mothers tend to speak soothingly and softly in repetitive rhythms to their infants and snugly hold them. Fathers tend to provide more verbal and physical stimulation, by patting their babies gently and communicating to them with sharp bursts of sound. As babies grow older, many come to prefer playing with their fathers who provide unpredictable, stimulating, and exciting interaction. This stimulation is important because it fosters healthy development of the baby's brain and can have lasting effects on children's social, emotional, and intellectual development. Infants with involved fathers tend to score higher on tests of thinking skills and brain development.
Both the mother and the father are important to an infant's development in special ways. For example, in one study, baby boys whose fathers engaged in physically playful, affectionate and stimulating play during infancy were more popular later as school children. Mothers influenced their sons' popularity through a different route, by providing verbal stimulation
Fathers and Small Children
When babies become toddlers, parents must go beyond nurturing them and begin to address two additional needs: supporting their toddler's exploration and setting appropriate limits for the child. Through playing with their toddlers, fathers take a special role in achieving these two goals. Children learn from them how to solve problems and how to get along with others.
Fathers spend a larger proportion of their time playing with their young children than mothers do, and they tend to be more boisterous and active in their play. Most children enjoy this kind of play. Even if their fathers spend less time with them than their mothers, fathers become salient, or meaningful and special, to their children through play.
When fathers play with their toddlers, they are not just entertaining them. They are providing a safe, yet challenging arena for toddlers to learn how to interact with the world and with others. Through rough-and-tumble play, fathers create obstacles for their children and demand respect for limits and boundaries. At the same time, they challenge their children and encourage them to explore their own strength, their ability to do new things, and their impact on the world around them. Toddlers who must work out for themselves how to achieve goals-such as retrieving a ball that is just out of reach in their father's hand or wrestling their father to the ground-are practicing important problem-solving skills. In fact, when fathers are good at playing with their young children, these children score higher on tests of thinking and problem-solving skills.
Playing with fathers also helps children develop emotional knowledge, so that they can identify their own emotions, acknowledge the emotional experiences of others, and describe the causes of emotions. Toddlers must also learn emotional regulation, the ability to express emotions responsibly and control their behaviour. To understand how much emotional regulation develops during early childhood, one can picture a toddler in the midst of an angry temper tantrum, holding his breath until he gets his way. Contrast this with a four-year-old who feels frustrated that the rain has ruined his plans to play football, yet moves beyond those feelings and engages in a board game with his sister instead. When children understand their emotions and know how to control them, it makes them more popular with other children.
The father's influence on emotional development is not limited to play, but also comes through direct teaching and daily interaction. Studies have shown that, when fathers are affectionate and helpful, their children are more likely to get on well with their brothers and sisters. When children have fathers who are emotionally involved-that is, they acknowledge their children's emotions and help them deal with bad emotions-they score higher on tests of 'emotional intelligence'. Moreover, they tend to have better relationships with other children and behave less aggressively. Fathers' involvement in their young children's care can even last well into adulthood. Mothers seem to have much less impact in this area of emotional regulation and peer relationships than fathers. It really is fathers who can have a major influence on helping their children build strong social relationships during childhood and later in life.
The Role Of Fathers
There is a tendency today to speak of 'parents' or 'carers' rather than 'mothers' or 'fathers'. People often say that the most important thing in raising children is to give them lots of love, something that all parents can do, regardless of whether they are a mother or a father. However, there are also many ways that mothers and fathers can bring unique strengths to their relationships with their children. In real people's lives, you can see these contributions, and they have been measured by social scientists. Fathers-just like mothers-always matter.
Two Heads are Better Than One
Richness of Care
A child who has both a mother and a father benefits from an increased richness of care. In other words, children with both a mother and a father can benefit from more caring, as well as a variety of caring styles.
Bridges to the World
Through their fathers and mothers, children have access to a vast network including grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles, friends of the family, work colleagues, community organisations, faith communities, and even personal histories. Fathers and mothers provide 'bridges' to all these aspects of the outside world, providing more experiences for children as well as practical opportunities such as job possibilities.
Mothers Benefit from Fathers' Support
If a mother can count on her children's father to help with keeping the house clean and in good repair, caring for the children, paying the bills, and planning for the future, she probably will be a happier, more effective parent. The support a mother receives from her child's father can even help her be more competent and sensitive when feeding her baby. Mothers seem to gain the most security when they are married and know the father is committed to a lifelong relationship to her and their child.
Breadwinning
Today, most families rely upon the incomes of both mothers and fathers. However, fathers still provide the lion's share of income. Fathers are either the sole earners or the main earners in two-thirds of two-parent households. Moreover, fathers' earnings are uniquely linked to many positive results for children, even when mothers' earnings are taken into consideration.
Complementary Roles
It often is useful, as well as accurate, to generalize about average differences between men and women. Whether these differences are due more to inborn biological chemistry, or social pressures, or some combination of the two, is much debated.
It is generally agreed that men and women should no longer be regarded as 'opposites'. The important thing to remember is that mothers and fathers often bring different strengths and styles to their parenting roles. These roles complement each other, meaning that they are not interchangeable and are each necessary for healthy childtraining
'Do fathers and mothers have different styles of play? Consider these two examples: a father picks up his son, seven-month-old David, tosses him in the air, and throws his head back so that he and David are face to face. As David giggles and chortles, his father lowers him, shakes him, and tosses him up in the air again. A mother sits her daughter, ten-month-old Lisa, on her lap and pulls out her favourite toy, a green donkey that brays when you squeeze it. Lisa smiles, and for the next few minutes her mother moves the donkey in front of Lisa's eyes, makes it bray, and talks and sings to her daughter. Lisa watches intently, smiles, and occasionally reaches for her donkey. Are these examples merely cultural stereotypes, or do mothers and fathers really play with their babies in different ways? A series of studies confirm that differences in parental play styles do exist.'
From the book Fatherhood, by Ross Parke
How Fathers Influence
Children As They Grow
In the past, psychologists studying the development of children focused almost exclusively on children's relationships with their mothers. Today, they have come to agree that fathers play a unique and crucial role in nurturing and guiding children's development. Many experts now believe that fathers can be just as nurturing and sensitive with their babies as mothers. As their children grow, fathers take on added roles of guiding their children's intellectual and social development. Even when a father is 'just playing' with his children, he is nurturing their development.
Fathers and Babies
Babies need predictability and security, which they get when their mother and father respond consistently, promptly, and appropriately to their cries, smiles and other signals. As a baby develops a relationship with his or her mother and father, he comes to prefer them to other adults, in a process known as attachment. Psychologists agree that babies with secure attachments to their parents have better chances to develop into happy, successful, and well-adjusted children and adults. Mothers tend to be relied upon more than fathers for the comfort and security components of attachment, primarily because they are usually the infant's main caregiver. Babies also form attachments to their fathers, who tend to be just as responsive to their babies' bids for attention as mothers. When fathers spend more time with their babies, they get to know exactly what each of their baby's signals mean. This familiarity allows fathers to respond sensitively, meaning that they know when their baby is hungry rather than when he just wants a change of scenery.
The effects of attachment on children are broad and long-lasting. For example, one study found that primary school children scored higher on tests of empathy-the ability to see a situation from another person's viewpoint-if they had secure attachments to their fathers during infancy. These children were able to recognize how other children felt and took steps to make them feel better.
Both mothers and fathers encourage their babies to investigate the world, manipulate objects, and explore physical relationships. However, mothers and fathers have different styles of relating. Mothers tend to speak soothingly and softly in repetitive rhythms to their infants and snugly hold them. Fathers tend to provide more verbal and physical stimulation, by patting their babies gently and communicating to them with sharp bursts of sound. As babies grow older, many come to prefer playing with their fathers who provide unpredictable, stimulating, and exciting interaction. This stimulation is important because it fosters healthy development of the baby's brain and can have lasting effects on children's social, emotional, and intellectual development. Infants with involved fathers tend to score higher on tests of thinking skills and brain development.
Both the mother and the father are important to an infant's development in special ways. For example, in one study, baby boys whose fathers engaged in physically playful, affectionate and stimulating play during infancy were more popular later as school children. Mothers influenced their sons' popularity through a different route, by providing verbal stimulation
Fathers and Small Children
When babies become toddlers, parents must go beyond nurturing them and begin to address two additional needs: supporting their toddler's exploration and setting appropriate limits for the child. Through playing with their toddlers, fathers take a special role in achieving these two goals. Children learn from them how to solve problems and how to get along with others.
Fathers spend a larger proportion of their time playing with their young children than mothers do, and they tend to be more boisterous and active in their play. Most children enjoy this kind of play. Even if their fathers spend less time with them than their mothers, fathers become salient, or meaningful and special, to their children through play.
When fathers play with their toddlers, they are not just entertaining them. They are providing a safe, yet challenging arena for toddlers to learn how to interact with the world and with others. Through rough-and-tumble play, fathers create obstacles for their children and demand respect for limits and boundaries. At the same time, they challenge their children and encourage them to explore their own strength, their ability to do new things, and their impact on the world around them. Toddlers who must work out for themselves how to achieve goals-such as retrieving a ball that is just out of reach in their father's hand or wrestling their father to the ground-are practicing important problem-solving skills. In fact, when fathers are good at playing with their young children, these children score higher on tests of thinking and problem-solving skills.
Playing with fathers also helps children develop emotional knowledge, so that they can identify their own emotions, acknowledge the emotional experiences of others, and describe the causes of emotions. Toddlers must also learn emotional regulation, the ability to express emotions responsibly and control their behaviour. To understand how much emotional regulation develops during early childhood, one can picture a toddler in the midst of an angry temper tantrum, holding his breath until he gets his way. Contrast this with a four-year-old who feels frustrated that the rain has ruined his plans to play football, yet moves beyond those feelings and engages in a board game with his sister instead. When children understand their emotions and know how to control them, it makes them more popular with other children.
The father's influence on emotional development is not limited to play, but also comes through direct teaching and daily interaction. Studies have shown that, when fathers are affectionate and helpful, their children are more likely to get on well with their brothers and sisters. When children have fathers who are emotionally involved-that is, they acknowledge their children's emotions and help them deal with bad emotions-they score higher on tests of 'emotional intelligence'. Moreover, they tend to have better relationships with other children and behave less aggressively. Fathers' involvement in their young children's care can even last well into adulthood. Mothers seem to have much less impact in this area of emotional regulation and peer relationships than fathers. It really is fathers who can have a major influence on helping their children build strong social relationships during childhood and later in life.
Two Heads are Better Than One
Richness of Care
A child who has both a mother and a father benefits from an increased richness of care. In other words, children with both a mother and a father can benefit from more caring, as well as a variety of caring styles.
Bridges to the World
Through their fathers and mothers, children have access to a vast network including grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles, friends of the family, work colleagues, community organisations, faith communities, and even personal histories. Fathers and mothers provide 'bridges' to all these aspects of the outside world, providing more experiences for children as well as practical opportunities such as job possibilities.
Mothers Benefit from Fathers' Support
If a mother can count on her children's father to help with keeping the house clean and in good repair, caring for the children, paying the bills, and planning for the future, she probably will be a happier, more effective parent. The support a mother receives from her child's father can even help her be more competent and sensitive when feeding her baby. Mothers seem to gain the most security when they are married and know the father is committed to a lifelong relationship to her and their child.
Breadwinning
Today, most families rely upon the incomes of both mothers and fathers. However, fathers still provide the lion's share of income. Fathers are either the sole earners or the main earners in two-thirds of two-parent households. Moreover, fathers' earnings are uniquely linked to many positive results for children, even when mothers' earnings are taken into consideration.
Complementary Roles
It often is useful, as well as accurate, to generalize about average differences between men and women. Whether these differences are due more to inborn biological chemistry, or social pressures, or some combination of the two, is much debated.
It is generally agreed that men and women should no longer be regarded as 'opposites'. The important thing to remember is that mothers and fathers often bring different strengths and styles to their parenting roles. These roles complement each other, meaning that they are not interchangeable and are each necessary for healthy childtraining
'Do fathers and mothers have different styles of play? Consider these two examples: a father picks up his son, seven-month-old David, tosses him in the air, and throws his head back so that he and David are face to face. As David giggles and chortles, his father lowers him, shakes him, and tosses him up in the air again. A mother sits her daughter, ten-month-old Lisa, on her lap and pulls out her favourite toy, a green donkey that brays when you squeeze it. Lisa smiles, and for the next few minutes her mother moves the donkey in front of Lisa's eyes, makes it bray, and talks and sings to her daughter. Lisa watches intently, smiles, and occasionally reaches for her donkey. Are these examples merely cultural stereotypes, or do mothers and fathers really play with their babies in different ways? A series of studies confirm that differences in parental play styles do exist.'
From the book Fatherhood, by Ross Parke
How Fathers Influence
Children As They Grow
In the past, psychologists studying the development of children focused almost exclusively on children's relationships with their mothers. Today, they have come to agree that fathers play a unique and crucial role in nurturing and guiding children's development. Many experts now believe that fathers can be just as nurturing and sensitive with their babies as mothers. As their children grow, fathers take on added roles of guiding their children's intellectual and social development. Even when a father is 'just playing' with his children, he is nurturing their development.
Fathers and Babies
Babies need predictability and security, which they get when their mother and father respond consistently, promptly, and appropriately to their cries, smiles and other signals. As a baby develops a relationship with his or her mother and father, he comes to prefer them to other adults, in a process known as attachment. Psychologists agree that babies with secure attachments to their parents have better chances to develop into happy, successful, and well-adjusted children and adults. Mothers tend to be relied upon more than fathers for the comfort and security components of attachment, primarily because they are usually the infant's main caregiver. Babies also form attachments to their fathers, who tend to be just as responsive to their babies' bids for attention as mothers. When fathers spend more time with their babies, they get to know exactly what each of their baby's signals mean. This familiarity allows fathers to respond sensitively, meaning that they know when their baby is hungry rather than when he just wants a change of scenery.
The effects of attachment on children are broad and long-lasting. For example, one study found that primary school children scored higher on tests of empathy-the ability to see a situation from another person's viewpoint-if they had secure attachments to their fathers during infancy. These children were able to recognize how other children felt and took steps to make them feel better.
Both mothers and fathers encourage their babies to investigate the world, manipulate objects, and explore physical relationships. However, mothers and fathers have different styles of relating. Mothers tend to speak soothingly and softly in repetitive rhythms to their infants and snugly hold them. Fathers tend to provide more verbal and physical stimulation, by patting their babies gently and communicating to them with sharp bursts of sound. As babies grow older, many come to prefer playing with their fathers who provide unpredictable, stimulating, and exciting interaction. This stimulation is important because it fosters healthy development of the baby's brain and can have lasting effects on children's social, emotional, and intellectual development. Infants with involved fathers tend to score higher on tests of thinking skills and brain development.
Both the mother and the father are important to an infant's development in special ways. For example, in one study, baby boys whose fathers engaged in physically playful, affectionate and stimulating play during infancy were more popular later as school children. Mothers influenced their sons' popularity through a different route, by providing verbal stimulation
Fathers and Small Children
When babies become toddlers, parents must go beyond nurturing them and begin to address two additional needs: supporting their toddler's exploration and setting appropriate limits for the child. Through playing with their toddlers, fathers take a special role in achieving these two goals. Children learn from them how to solve problems and how to get along with others.
Fathers spend a larger proportion of their time playing with their young children than mothers do, and they tend to be more boisterous and active in their play. Most children enjoy this kind of play. Even if their fathers spend less time with them than their mothers, fathers become salient, or meaningful and special, to their children through play.
When fathers play with their toddlers, they are not just entertaining them. They are providing a safe, yet challenging arena for toddlers to learn how to interact with the world and with others. Through rough-and-tumble play, fathers create obstacles for their children and demand respect for limits and boundaries. At the same time, they challenge their children and encourage them to explore their own strength, their ability to do new things, and their impact on the world around them. Toddlers who must work out for themselves how to achieve goals-such as retrieving a ball that is just out of reach in their father's hand or wrestling their father to the ground-are practicing important problem-solving skills. In fact, when fathers are good at playing with their young children, these children score higher on tests of thinking and problem-solving skills.
Playing with fathers also helps children develop emotional knowledge, so that they can identify their own emotions, acknowledge the emotional experiences of others, and describe the causes of emotions. Toddlers must also learn emotional regulation, the ability to express emotions responsibly and control their behaviour. To understand how much emotional regulation develops during early childhood, one can picture a toddler in the midst of an angry temper tantrum, holding his breath until he gets his way. Contrast this with a four-year-old who feels frustrated that the rain has ruined his plans to play football, yet moves beyond those feelings and engages in a board game with his sister instead. When children understand their emotions and know how to control them, it makes them more popular with other children.
The father's influence on emotional development is not limited to play, but also comes through direct teaching and daily interaction. Studies have shown that, when fathers are affectionate and helpful, their children are more likely to get on well with their brothers and sisters. When children have fathers who are emotionally involved-that is, they acknowledge their children's emotions and help them deal with bad emotions-they score higher on tests of 'emotional intelligence'. Moreover, they tend to have better relationships with other children and behave less aggressively. Fathers' involvement in their young children's care can even last well into adulthood. Mothers seem to have much less impact in this area of emotional regulation and peer relationships than fathers. It really is fathers who can have a major influence on helping their children build strong social relationships during childhood and later in life.
Having A Beautiful Heart
I’m talking about your emotional heart. Of course living a healthy lifestyle will give you a beautiful physical heart and you need that for life. But it’s our emotional heart that helps us celebrate that life. That is the topic of this article.
One of my favorite stories is about a beautiful heart. I don’t know who wrote it, what the name of it is, or where to find it. I know the details of the story well enough though and I’ve pieced them together to create a version to share with you. It will teach you how to have a beautiful heart.
There was a small village, the kind where everyone knows everyone by name. A young man, we’ll call him Guy was filled with pride and ego. He had a remarkable heart, in perfect condition. He looked at his heart all the time, always polishing and fussing with it to keep it in mint condition.
One day, Guy was riding his bicycle into town. He was in a hurry as always, but an old man was slowly peddling down the path directly in front of him. We’ll call this old man, Old Man. Guy flew into a rage. “How dare Old Man make me wait?” He exclaimed to whomever it is that one talks to when no one else is around. Guy foolishly tried to squeeze onto the side of the path fly pass Old Man. There wasn’t enough room and Guy side swiped Old Man knocking him off his bike. The bike flew off the path, down a hilly ravine and was destroyed.
Guy knew it was his fault, although he really didn’t want to own up to it. So instead he said, “Okay Old Man, let’s have a contest. If you win, I’ll buy a new bike to replace that one. It was just a piece of junk anyway.” The Old Man said he would do it if the town’s people would be the judges. Guy, thinking he had it made, agreed and said the contest would be to see who had the most beautiful heart.
Later in the day, with all the towns people gathered, Guy and the Old Man brought their hearts into the arena and the “Most Beautiful Heart” contest began. Guy’s presented his heart. It was pristine, not a scratch or dent on it, shiny and looking as if it had never been touched, because it hadn’t. He was sure he would win. He proudly made sure everyone had a thorough look at his heart.
The Old Man presented his heart next. His heart had holes and chunks torn out of it, some of the holes were filled with pieces of other people’s hearts. It looked like it had been around the block more than a few times, scarred and worn from years of use. The town’s people were all very familiar with Old Man’s heart, so they didn’t take too long to look.
The town’s people didn’t take any time at all. They decided the Old Man by a landslide. Guy angrily asked them to explain. The Old Man won because he used his heart. The chunks torn out of it was love given and lost, the filled in pieces were other people’s love that he had accepted, and the scars and worn out appearance proved that this heart was used for what it was supposed to be used for. That changed Guy. He bought the Old Man a bike as he promised and tore the first piece of his heart out and gave it to the Old Man to have one more filled in piece to his heart.
That my friends is how to have a beautiful heart. Tear it apart and offer it to others, accept the parts of other people’s hearts when they offer it to you. USE your heart. It will be the most beautiful heart in the world!
One of my favorite stories is about a beautiful heart. I don’t know who wrote it, what the name of it is, or where to find it. I know the details of the story well enough though and I’ve pieced them together to create a version to share with you. It will teach you how to have a beautiful heart.
There was a small village, the kind where everyone knows everyone by name. A young man, we’ll call him Guy was filled with pride and ego. He had a remarkable heart, in perfect condition. He looked at his heart all the time, always polishing and fussing with it to keep it in mint condition.
One day, Guy was riding his bicycle into town. He was in a hurry as always, but an old man was slowly peddling down the path directly in front of him. We’ll call this old man, Old Man. Guy flew into a rage. “How dare Old Man make me wait?” He exclaimed to whomever it is that one talks to when no one else is around. Guy foolishly tried to squeeze onto the side of the path fly pass Old Man. There wasn’t enough room and Guy side swiped Old Man knocking him off his bike. The bike flew off the path, down a hilly ravine and was destroyed.
Guy knew it was his fault, although he really didn’t want to own up to it. So instead he said, “Okay Old Man, let’s have a contest. If you win, I’ll buy a new bike to replace that one. It was just a piece of junk anyway.” The Old Man said he would do it if the town’s people would be the judges. Guy, thinking he had it made, agreed and said the contest would be to see who had the most beautiful heart.
Later in the day, with all the towns people gathered, Guy and the Old Man brought their hearts into the arena and the “Most Beautiful Heart” contest began. Guy’s presented his heart. It was pristine, not a scratch or dent on it, shiny and looking as if it had never been touched, because it hadn’t. He was sure he would win. He proudly made sure everyone had a thorough look at his heart.
The Old Man presented his heart next. His heart had holes and chunks torn out of it, some of the holes were filled with pieces of other people’s hearts. It looked like it had been around the block more than a few times, scarred and worn from years of use. The town’s people were all very familiar with Old Man’s heart, so they didn’t take too long to look.
The town’s people didn’t take any time at all. They decided the Old Man by a landslide. Guy angrily asked them to explain. The Old Man won because he used his heart. The chunks torn out of it was love given and lost, the filled in pieces were other people’s love that he had accepted, and the scars and worn out appearance proved that this heart was used for what it was supposed to be used for. That changed Guy. He bought the Old Man a bike as he promised and tore the first piece of his heart out and gave it to the Old Man to have one more filled in piece to his heart.
That my friends is how to have a beautiful heart. Tear it apart and offer it to others, accept the parts of other people’s hearts when they offer it to you. USE your heart. It will be the most beautiful heart in the world!
Having A Beautiful Heart
I’m talking about your emotional heart. Of course living a healthy lifestyle will give you a beautiful physical heart and you need that for life. But it’s our emotional heart that helps us celebrate that life. That is the topic of this article.
One of my favorite stories is about a beautiful heart. I don’t know who wrote it, what the name of it is, or where to find it. I know the details of the story well enough though and I’ve pieced them together to create a version to share with you. It will teach you how to have a beautiful heart.
There was a small village, the kind where everyone knows everyone by name. A young man, we’ll call him Guy was filled with pride and ego. He had a remarkable heart, in perfect condition. He looked at his heart all the time, always polishing and fussing with it to keep it in mint condition.
One day, Guy was riding his bicycle into town. He was in a hurry as always, but an old man was slowly peddling down the path directly in front of him. We’ll call this old man, Old Man. Guy flew into a rage. “How dare Old Man make me wait?” He exclaimed to whomever it is that one talks to when no one else is around. Guy foolishly tried to squeeze onto the side of the path fly pass Old Man. There wasn’t enough room and Guy side swiped Old Man knocking him off his bike. The bike flew off the path, down a hilly ravine and was destroyed.
Guy knew it was his fault, although he really didn’t want to own up to it. So instead he said, “Okay Old Man, let’s have a contest. If you win, I’ll buy a new bike to replace that one. It was just a piece of junk anyway.” The Old Man said he would do it if the town’s people would be the judges. Guy, thinking he had it made, agreed and said the contest would be to see who had the most beautiful heart.
Later in the day, with all the towns people gathered, Guy and the Old Man brought their hearts into the arena and the “Most Beautiful Heart” contest began. Guy’s presented his heart. It was pristine, not a scratch or dent on it, shiny and looking as if it had never been touched, because it hadn’t. He was sure he would win. He proudly made sure everyone had a thorough look at his heart.
The Old Man presented his heart next. His heart had holes and chunks torn out of it, some of the holes were filled with pieces of other people’s hearts. It looked like it had been around the block more than a few times, scarred and worn from years of use. The town’s people were all very familiar with Old Man’s heart, so they didn’t take too long to look.
The town’s people didn’t take any time at all. They decided the Old Man by a landslide. Guy angrily asked them to explain. The Old Man won because he used his heart. The chunks torn out of it was love given and lost, the filled in pieces were other people’s love that he had accepted, and the scars and worn out appearance proved that this heart was used for what it was supposed to be used for. That changed Guy. He bought the Old Man a bike as he promised and tore the first piece of his heart out and gave it to the Old Man to have one more filled in piece to his heart.
That my friends is how to have a beautiful heart. Tear it apart and offer it to others, accept the parts of other people’s hearts when they offer it to you. USE your heart. It will be the most beautiful heart in the world!
One of my favorite stories is about a beautiful heart. I don’t know who wrote it, what the name of it is, or where to find it. I know the details of the story well enough though and I’ve pieced them together to create a version to share with you. It will teach you how to have a beautiful heart.
There was a small village, the kind where everyone knows everyone by name. A young man, we’ll call him Guy was filled with pride and ego. He had a remarkable heart, in perfect condition. He looked at his heart all the time, always polishing and fussing with it to keep it in mint condition.
One day, Guy was riding his bicycle into town. He was in a hurry as always, but an old man was slowly peddling down the path directly in front of him. We’ll call this old man, Old Man. Guy flew into a rage. “How dare Old Man make me wait?” He exclaimed to whomever it is that one talks to when no one else is around. Guy foolishly tried to squeeze onto the side of the path fly pass Old Man. There wasn’t enough room and Guy side swiped Old Man knocking him off his bike. The bike flew off the path, down a hilly ravine and was destroyed.
Guy knew it was his fault, although he really didn’t want to own up to it. So instead he said, “Okay Old Man, let’s have a contest. If you win, I’ll buy a new bike to replace that one. It was just a piece of junk anyway.” The Old Man said he would do it if the town’s people would be the judges. Guy, thinking he had it made, agreed and said the contest would be to see who had the most beautiful heart.
Later in the day, with all the towns people gathered, Guy and the Old Man brought their hearts into the arena and the “Most Beautiful Heart” contest began. Guy’s presented his heart. It was pristine, not a scratch or dent on it, shiny and looking as if it had never been touched, because it hadn’t. He was sure he would win. He proudly made sure everyone had a thorough look at his heart.
The Old Man presented his heart next. His heart had holes and chunks torn out of it, some of the holes were filled with pieces of other people’s hearts. It looked like it had been around the block more than a few times, scarred and worn from years of use. The town’s people were all very familiar with Old Man’s heart, so they didn’t take too long to look.
The town’s people didn’t take any time at all. They decided the Old Man by a landslide. Guy angrily asked them to explain. The Old Man won because he used his heart. The chunks torn out of it was love given and lost, the filled in pieces were other people’s love that he had accepted, and the scars and worn out appearance proved that this heart was used for what it was supposed to be used for. That changed Guy. He bought the Old Man a bike as he promised and tore the first piece of his heart out and gave it to the Old Man to have one more filled in piece to his heart.
That my friends is how to have a beautiful heart. Tear it apart and offer it to others, accept the parts of other people’s hearts when they offer it to you. USE your heart. It will be the most beautiful heart in the world!
Having A Beautiful Heart
I’m talking about your emotional heart. Of course living a healthy lifestyle will give you a beautiful physical heart and you need that for life. But it’s our emotional heart that helps us celebrate that life. That is the topic of this article.
One of my favorite stories is about a beautiful heart. I don’t know who wrote it, what the name of it is, or where to find it. I know the details of the story well enough though and I’ve pieced them together to create a version to share with you. It will teach you how to have a beautiful heart.
There was a small village, the kind where everyone knows everyone by name. A young man, we’ll call him Guy was filled with pride and ego. He had a remarkable heart, in perfect condition. He looked at his heart all the time, always polishing and fussing with it to keep it in mint condition.
One day, Guy was riding his bicycle into town. He was in a hurry as always, but an old man was slowly peddling down the path directly in front of him. We’ll call this old man, Old Man. Guy flew into a rage. “How dare Old Man make me wait?” He exclaimed to whomever it is that one talks to when no one else is around. Guy foolishly tried to squeeze onto the side of the path fly pass Old Man. There wasn’t enough room and Guy side swiped Old Man knocking him off his bike. The bike flew off the path, down a hilly ravine and was destroyed.
Guy knew it was his fault, although he really didn’t want to own up to it. So instead he said, “Okay Old Man, let’s have a contest. If you win, I’ll buy a new bike to replace that one. It was just a piece of junk anyway.” The Old Man said he would do it if the town’s people would be the judges. Guy, thinking he had it made, agreed and said the contest would be to see who had the most beautiful heart.
Later in the day, with all the towns people gathered, Guy and the Old Man brought their hearts into the arena and the “Most Beautiful Heart” contest began. Guy’s presented his heart. It was pristine, not a scratch or dent on it, shiny and looking as if it had never been touched, because it hadn’t. He was sure he would win. He proudly made sure everyone had a thorough look at his heart.
The Old Man presented his heart next. His heart had holes and chunks torn out of it, some of the holes were filled with pieces of other people’s hearts. It looked like it had been around the block more than a few times, scarred and worn from years of use. The town’s people were all very familiar with Old Man’s heart, so they didn’t take too long to look.
The town’s people didn’t take any time at all. They decided the Old Man by a landslide. Guy angrily asked them to explain. The Old Man won because he used his heart. The chunks torn out of it was love given and lost, the filled in pieces were other people’s love that he had accepted, and the scars and worn out appearance proved that this heart was used for what it was supposed to be used for. That changed Guy. He bought the Old Man a bike as he promised and tore the first piece of his heart out and gave it to the Old Man to have one more filled in piece to his heart.
That my friends is how to have a beautiful heart. Tear it apart and offer it to others, accept the parts of other people’s hearts when they offer it to you. USE your heart. It will be the most beautiful heart in the world!
One of my favorite stories is about a beautiful heart. I don’t know who wrote it, what the name of it is, or where to find it. I know the details of the story well enough though and I’ve pieced them together to create a version to share with you. It will teach you how to have a beautiful heart.
There was a small village, the kind where everyone knows everyone by name. A young man, we’ll call him Guy was filled with pride and ego. He had a remarkable heart, in perfect condition. He looked at his heart all the time, always polishing and fussing with it to keep it in mint condition.
One day, Guy was riding his bicycle into town. He was in a hurry as always, but an old man was slowly peddling down the path directly in front of him. We’ll call this old man, Old Man. Guy flew into a rage. “How dare Old Man make me wait?” He exclaimed to whomever it is that one talks to when no one else is around. Guy foolishly tried to squeeze onto the side of the path fly pass Old Man. There wasn’t enough room and Guy side swiped Old Man knocking him off his bike. The bike flew off the path, down a hilly ravine and was destroyed.
Guy knew it was his fault, although he really didn’t want to own up to it. So instead he said, “Okay Old Man, let’s have a contest. If you win, I’ll buy a new bike to replace that one. It was just a piece of junk anyway.” The Old Man said he would do it if the town’s people would be the judges. Guy, thinking he had it made, agreed and said the contest would be to see who had the most beautiful heart.
Later in the day, with all the towns people gathered, Guy and the Old Man brought their hearts into the arena and the “Most Beautiful Heart” contest began. Guy’s presented his heart. It was pristine, not a scratch or dent on it, shiny and looking as if it had never been touched, because it hadn’t. He was sure he would win. He proudly made sure everyone had a thorough look at his heart.
The Old Man presented his heart next. His heart had holes and chunks torn out of it, some of the holes were filled with pieces of other people’s hearts. It looked like it had been around the block more than a few times, scarred and worn from years of use. The town’s people were all very familiar with Old Man’s heart, so they didn’t take too long to look.
The town’s people didn’t take any time at all. They decided the Old Man by a landslide. Guy angrily asked them to explain. The Old Man won because he used his heart. The chunks torn out of it was love given and lost, the filled in pieces were other people’s love that he had accepted, and the scars and worn out appearance proved that this heart was used for what it was supposed to be used for. That changed Guy. He bought the Old Man a bike as he promised and tore the first piece of his heart out and gave it to the Old Man to have one more filled in piece to his heart.
That my friends is how to have a beautiful heart. Tear it apart and offer it to others, accept the parts of other people’s hearts when they offer it to you. USE your heart. It will be the most beautiful heart in the world!
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
QUEENBELLA WISHES HER BLOG READERS A GREAT 2013
We welcome you to another beautiful year 2013, and we pray that all your prayers will be answered! And here-: we have put together these beautiful new year quotes for you.
This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve,
when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.
P J O'Rourke
Cheers to a new year and another chance
for us to get it right.
Oprah Winfrey
The only way to spend New Year's Eve is
either quietly with friends or in a
brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends
and people pair off, someone is bound to
be left in tears.
W.H. Auden
“Another fresh new year is here .
. .
Another year to live!
To banish worry, doubt, and fear,
To love and laugh and give!
This bright new year is given me
To live each day with zest . . .
To daily grow and try to be
My highest and my best!
I have the opportunity
Once more to right some wrongs,
To pray for peace, to plant a tree,
And sing more joyful songs!”
William Arthur Ward quotes (American
dedicated scholar, author, editor,
pastor and teacher)
One resolution I have made, and try
always to keep, is this: To rise above
the little things. ~John Burroughs
Of all sound of all bells... most solemn
and touching is the peal which rings out
the Old Year. ~Charles Lamb
“An optimist stays up until
midnight to see the new year in. A
pessimist stays up to make sure the old
year leaves.”
Bill Vaughn quotes (American industry
author, mentor and subject-matter
expert)
Be at war with your vices; at peace with
your neighbors, and let every new year
find you a better man.
Benjamin Franklin
It wouldn't be New Year's if I didn't
have regrets.
William Thomas
I'm a little bit older, a little bit
wiser, a little bit rounder, but still
none the wiser.
Robert Paul
Be the best you can be in the new year and you will have new testimonies.
Queen Bella
This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve,
when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.
P J O'Rourke
Cheers to a new year and another chance
for us to get it right.
Oprah Winfrey
The only way to spend New Year's Eve is
either quietly with friends or in a
brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends
and people pair off, someone is bound to
be left in tears.
W.H. Auden
“Another fresh new year is here .
. .
Another year to live!
To banish worry, doubt, and fear,
To love and laugh and give!
This bright new year is given me
To live each day with zest . . .
To daily grow and try to be
My highest and my best!
I have the opportunity
Once more to right some wrongs,
To pray for peace, to plant a tree,
And sing more joyful songs!”
William Arthur Ward quotes (American
dedicated scholar, author, editor,
pastor and teacher)
One resolution I have made, and try
always to keep, is this: To rise above
the little things. ~John Burroughs
Of all sound of all bells... most solemn
and touching is the peal which rings out
the Old Year. ~Charles Lamb
“An optimist stays up until
midnight to see the new year in. A
pessimist stays up to make sure the old
year leaves.”
Bill Vaughn quotes (American industry
author, mentor and subject-matter
expert)
Be at war with your vices; at peace with
your neighbors, and let every new year
find you a better man.
Benjamin Franklin
It wouldn't be New Year's if I didn't
have regrets.
William Thomas
I'm a little bit older, a little bit
wiser, a little bit rounder, but still
none the wiser.
Robert Paul
Be the best you can be in the new year and you will have new testimonies.
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