How to Be a Good Mother

How to Be a Good Mother There's already a lot to cover when learning how to be the best parent you can be. But there are certain challenges a mother faces as a parent that are distinct from those of being a father. Here's how to overcome them and raise your child/children well. Be supportive, and never laugh at your kids hobbies, interests or friends. So, your daughter doesn't want to study medicine and become a doctor? Don't get angry, this is your child's life and they can make some of their own decisions. Understand that it's okay if your child thinks differently from you. Don't get mad because they have a different opinion to you. Who cares if you daughter listens to hip hop music and wears too much eyeliner? She's still your daughter. And so what if your son is friends with a guy who speaks in a funny accent or who has a different skin color? You might not do what your kids do, but that is their decision, not yours. You have a big impact on their lives already-you choose what school they go to, when they eat dinner, the amount of allowance they get a week. Don't over do it. 2 Be patient. Being a mother is a little challenging sometimes. But keep your cool and try to stay patient. Try this approach to other problems. Stay calm, explain the practical reasons not to do something, and then why YOU don't want them to do something. 3 Take an interest in your child's interests. If your son likes music buy him a guitar and watch him play. Ask questions, like what is your favorite type of music, what is your favorite song, etc. If your daughter is interested in fashion, take her out for a shopping spree. Ask her what her favorite thing about fashion is. Don't be afraid to ask just don't be pushy. Also when you call your child and they say," What!" in a loud, angry like voice just say never mind and talk to them when they don't seem so mad. Sometimes when they say what in a that kind of voice you should ask them whats wrong. If they say nothing that means you need to go in there to see whats wrong, but sometimes let them come to you. 4 Don't be tight about money. Okay, so blowing money day after day isn't the best thing to do, but don't automatically say no to everything your kid asks for. If you always say no and follow this with a lecture about saving money, you will be known as the "Tight Parent", the one who never buys anything. Buy something small every now and then. Even offering to purchase some candy or chips at the store can make a difference. Every now and then buy something big that you are sure your kid wants. For example, an iPod in their favorite color, or maybe a teenager would enjoy a nice computer. And be generous at birthdays, maybe buy them something they have been hinting they want for a while. You can also take them out to a special dinner, see a movie, and choose a nice gift or receive nice gifts from parents. 5 Make sure you are an approachable person to talk to. Try your hardest to always be understanding and a good listener. Knowing that they can go to their mom for friendship advice, information on puberty, homework help, or just a hug goes a long way for kids. Not having someone they can talk to can cause kids to retire into a shell, so make sure you talk to them about how they feel regularly. 6 Be able to admit that something you did may have been wrong and don't be afraid to apologize. It might be hard, but it's better for everyone if you just admit to your mistakes and apologize. It saves everyone the trouble of being mad that you're being stubborn and teaches your kids that it's okay to make mistakes, as well as the importance of an apology. Simply calm yourself, evaluate the situation, determine what you did wrong and why. Then apologize and explain how or why you acted the way you did. A good way to start off may be: "I would like to apologize for how I acted earlier, and I realize that I was wrong," then transition into the rest. 7 Respect your child's love for the other parent. You should not be jealous of your child loving their Dad. 8 Lastly, love your children more than anything. Without loving them, it means nothing whatever you do in your life. And understand whenever you love your child or not, somehow deep in your child's heart, they will love you forever whenever they are loved, or not. NOTE: always be there no matter what Love them unconditionally; don't force them to be who you think they should be in order to earn your love. Don't use the phrase, "I carried you for 9 months!" in an argument. Your kids will most likely not understand what you actually had to go through, and it won't be really effective. If they break a boundary, make sure there are consequences. Do not let them wheedle out of the consequences, minimize it, or delay it, or else it will not be as effective. Make sure their father will help enforce the boundary. Always try to be fair. Support and love your children in everything they do. Spend quality time with your child. Play ball with your son or do a craft project with your daughter. And make sure you have fun Create boundaries and enforce them. No means no; once you say it, don't cave unless there is a highly developed debate and logical evidence for you to change your mind. You are not your child's friend, you are the authority figure. Don't be afraid to teach your kids about safety of all kinds: fire safety, gun safety, how to be safe while home alone, stranger danger, or what to do if someone breaks into the house. Start these lessons at a young age (say 4 or 5). Although that may seem like a young age, kids' minds are like sponges at this time, and more than likely they will understand what you're saying and remember it easier the earlier you start to teach them. Parents need to teach their children how to be successful adults. Don't routinely do things for your children that they can learn to do for themselves.