Staying Calm

Yea i get,everyday situations such as job interviews, public speaking,family emergencies, and personal life issues can be every bit as stressful if we are not accustomed to dealing with them. Learning how to remain calm in times of stress will not only make things go more smoothly immediately, it can also, over time, help you lead a healthier, happier life. Here's how to keep your cool when the pressure mounts. »»Identify the cause of your stress. Is your heart pounding because that idiot just cut you off on the freeway, or is it because of that presentation you have to give to your boss this afternoon? Think for a moment and try to figure out what’s really bothering you. »»Choose your response, Even if you’re powerless to change the source of your stress, you have the power to choose how you’ll respond to it. The appropriate response to stress should depend on what’s causing it: you can either shake off your stress (ignore it and let it go immediately) or face it head-on. In order to choose your response, ask yourself some questions. Does it matter? Yeah, it’s all small stuff, but some stuff is smaller than others. Consider how long the source of stress will affect you. That idiot driver will be gone in a moment if you just let him keep speeding down the road, but the death of a loved one may affect you for years. How much control do you have over the situation? Is the source of stress in the past, present, or future? You can’t change the past, but you can respond to the present and prepare for the future. Let your past troubles fade. Be mindful of and focus on the important things in your life. Your life is precious, so let not the extraneous things interfere with more important things in your life. »»Face your stress source head-on when you're ready. Getting stressed is not going to resolve the situation. Sitting around worrying is a good way to procrastinate, but procrastinating will only prolong or intensify the stress. Facing your stress head-on is really just a way to shake off a bad situation that you cannot or should not ignore. If you can change the outcome of a situation that matters to you, the quickest way to overcome that fear or to empower yourself is to take action as quickly as possible. Once you’ve resolved the underlying problem, you can shake off the stress because it no longer matters. The steps below will help you. If you feel paralyzed, use the steps above to relax and temporarily distance yourself from the situation just long enough to be able to see it clearly. »»Make a plan. Sometimes you can resolve a stressful situation right away with one action, but often you’ll need several steps, perhaps over a long period. Write out a plan with attainable goals and a time line for reaching those goals. Additionally, many stressful situations are avoidable. If you prepare ahead of time for important events and make contingency plans, you may not have to cope with as much stress later. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. See How to Be Proactive. »»Take one step at a time. A complex problem can be overwhelming, even when you’ve got your plan mapped out, but remember: the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Just focus on one small goal at a time. See also How to Sustain Motivation when You're Struggling. »»Shake it all off. If a situation is beyond your control, or if it just isn’t that important, stop worrying about it. Easier said than done? Just do it. Inhale deeply through your nose. In your mind, count to five seconds, and then exhale slowly through your mouth, for another five seconds. Repeat this breathing pattern until you feel comfortable with it. Think about something else. Get your mind off the stress by thinking about something that makes you happy, such as your kids or spouse (provided they’re not the cause of the current stress), or by concentrating on the things you have planned for the day. Visualize relaxing things, such as a deserted island or a country road. Close your eyes and try to picture even minor details about the imaginary place, and you can put yourself in that situation instead of the one you’re in. Get away from the cause of the stress. If you can physically escape the stress trigger, do so. Leave the room or pull off the road for a moment to put things in perspective. Get some exercise. Whether you go for a run, do calisthenics, do yoga, or lift weights, 10-20 minutes of physical exercise every day can relax you even when "nothing can". »»Be realistic. If you continue to experience stress because no matter how hard you try you can’t take the steps quickly enough, you probably haven’t set realistic goals. In a culture that values a can-do attitude, it can be hard to accept that sometimes you can’t do something, at least not within a given period of time. If that’s the case, revise your time line or lower your expectations. If you can’t do that, the situation qualifies as one which you can’t control,learn from your experience. PLEASE Pamper yourself. Sometimes bubble baths and music can make you feel better. Avoid Swearing / Shouting - Many people think that this calms them down because it releases bottled up energy / anger. This is a common misconception. Yes. Release your anger. Do not hold it in all the time or you will explode. Do not take out your bottled up anger on those around you. Swearing only hypes you up more. You think you feel better but really, all you've done is put yourself in a destructive habit. If you need to shout, find a place of solitude and let out your anger. Cry. Do not punch a wall. Find a pillow or something that you won't cause any harm to and scream into if you must. Just avoid taking your anger out on others because then guilt will stress you even more. Talk about your problems as they occur; don't put it off. Taking care of the problem now, can eliminate the possibility of blowing up later because your anger was taken out a long time ago with civilized discussion. Stress about future events is mostly caused by fear, and stress over things in the present is usually caused by a feeling of powerlessness. Laugh or just force a smile; the positive attitude is contagious. Its probably easier said than done but focus on what needs to be done. Panicking and acting over emotional is damaging to yourself which can make matters worse. Ending up in the hospital because of a stroke or heart attack is not the way you plan on taking care of the stressful situation.

Staying Calm

Yea i get,everyday situations such as job interviews, public speaking,family emergencies, and personal life issues can be every bit as stressful if we are not accustomed to dealing with them. Learning how to remain calm in times of stress will not only make things go more smoothly immediately, it can also, over time, help you lead a healthier, happier life. Here's how to keep your cool when the pressure mounts. »»Identify the cause of your stress. Is your heart pounding because that idiot just cut you off on the freeway, or is it because of that presentation you have to give to your boss this afternoon? Think for a moment and try to figure out what’s really bothering you. »»Choose your response, Even if you’re powerless to change the source of your stress, you have the power to choose how you’ll respond to it. The appropriate response to stress should depend on what’s causing it: you can either shake off your stress (ignore it and let it go immediately) or face it head-on. In order to choose your response, ask yourself some questions. Does it matter? Yeah, it’s all small stuff, but some stuff is smaller than others. Consider how long the source of stress will affect you. That idiot driver will be gone in a moment if you just let him keep speeding down the road, but the death of a loved one may affect you for years. How much control do you have over the situation? Is the source of stress in the past, present, or future? You can’t change the past, but you can respond to the present and prepare for the future. Let your past troubles fade. Be mindful of and focus on the important things in your life. Your life is precious, so let not the extraneous things interfere with more important things in your life. »»Face your stress source head-on when you're ready. Getting stressed is not going to resolve the situation. Sitting around worrying is a good way to procrastinate, but procrastinating will only prolong or intensify the stress. Facing your stress head-on is really just a way to shake off a bad situation that you cannot or should not ignore. If you can change the outcome of a situation that matters to you, the quickest way to overcome that fear or to empower yourself is to take action as quickly as possible. Once you’ve resolved the underlying problem, you can shake off the stress because it no longer matters. The steps below will help you. If you feel paralyzed, use the steps above to relax and temporarily distance yourself from the situation just long enough to be able to see it clearly. »»Make a plan. Sometimes you can resolve a stressful situation right away with one action, but often you’ll need several steps, perhaps over a long period. Write out a plan with attainable goals and a time line for reaching those goals. Additionally, many stressful situations are avoidable. If you prepare ahead of time for important events and make contingency plans, you may not have to cope with as much stress later. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. See How to Be Proactive. »»Take one step at a time. A complex problem can be overwhelming, even when you’ve got your plan mapped out, but remember: the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Just focus on one small goal at a time. See also How to Sustain Motivation when You're Struggling. »»Shake it all off. If a situation is beyond your control, or if it just isn’t that important, stop worrying about it. Easier said than done? Just do it. Inhale deeply through your nose. In your mind, count to five seconds, and then exhale slowly through your mouth, for another five seconds. Repeat this breathing pattern until you feel comfortable with it. Think about something else. Get your mind off the stress by thinking about something that makes you happy, such as your kids or spouse (provided they’re not the cause of the current stress), or by concentrating on the things you have planned for the day. Visualize relaxing things, such as a deserted island or a country road. Close your eyes and try to picture even minor details about the imaginary place, and you can put yourself in that situation instead of the one you’re in. Get away from the cause of the stress. If you can physically escape the stress trigger, do so. Leave the room or pull off the road for a moment to put things in perspective. Get some exercise. Whether you go for a run, do calisthenics, do yoga, or lift weights, 10-20 minutes of physical exercise every day can relax you even when "nothing can". »»Be realistic. If you continue to experience stress because no matter how hard you try you can’t take the steps quickly enough, you probably haven’t set realistic goals. In a culture that values a can-do attitude, it can be hard to accept that sometimes you can’t do something, at least not within a given period of time. If that’s the case, revise your time line or lower your expectations. If you can’t do that, the situation qualifies as one which you can’t control,learn from your experience. PLEASE Pamper yourself. Sometimes bubble baths and music can make you feel better. Avoid Swearing / Shouting - Many people think that this calms them down because it releases bottled up energy / anger. This is a common misconception. Yes. Release your anger. Do not hold it in all the time or you will explode. Do not take out your bottled up anger on those around you. Swearing only hypes you up more. You think you feel better but really, all you've done is put yourself in a destructive habit. If you need to shout, find a place of solitude and let out your anger. Cry. Do not punch a wall. Find a pillow or something that you won't cause any harm to and scream into if you must. Just avoid taking your anger out on others because then guilt will stress you even more. Talk about your problems as they occur; don't put it off. Taking care of the problem now, can eliminate the possibility of blowing up later because your anger was taken out a long time ago with civilized discussion. Stress about future events is mostly caused by fear, and stress over things in the present is usually caused by a feeling of powerlessness. Laugh or just force a smile; the positive attitude is contagious. Its probably easier said than done but focus on what needs to be done. Panicking and acting over emotional is damaging to yourself which can make matters worse. Ending up in the hospital because of a stroke or heart attack is not the way you plan on taking care of the stressful situation.

Loving Your Self

We spend so much time waiting to be loved, hoping love will find us, searching, yearning for that special love. Feeling empty and lost without it. Wanting someone to give us love and fill us up. Unfortunately, that’s not usually how life works. Loving yourself is mainly having self-respect, which is the only dependable way to create love in your own life to share with others. When you expect love from an external source, and someone or something does not fulfill your void and fantasies, then you will feel worse than before. To be able to be loved, you must love and respect yourself as much as you do others. Understanding the effects of loving yourself will only enhance your ability to love others. By doing so, you are enabling positive energy and allowing for great situations to occur in your life. This guide will help. Never think that you're living your life for nothing. Everyday, there are people coming in and out of the world, so spend it wisely and respect yourself. Sometimes we feel as if our lives rely on that one person. We think 'If I do this, he/she will like me.' We tend to waste time avoiding those certain people, and regret it later. We miss them, yearn for their love, and even waste birthday wishes on them. In order to love someone, you must love yourself. 1:Treat others with love and respect. Bringing joy to other people's lives will help you find joy in your own. In addition, those that you treat well will likely repay you with the same kindness. Gradually, you will start to feel your worth through the smiles of gratitude. However, don't just be very kind to people so you can receive royal treatment. 2:Create goodwill and thankfulness by practicing random deeds of kindness. Share your being with others in many ways. Share your knowledge in nice ways, or make a small donation to a needy person or an unfortunate child. Share opportunities for your potential happiness by sharing goals and accomplishments with a special person or a group. Help a candidate or a political cause, or a community project. Help at a school or church. 3:Express yourself, perhaps in a diary, or through short stories. You may need to get feelings out, but not on your friends! 4:Learn to let go of past events. You deserve a fresh beginning! There are a lot of people out there that have had hard lives, bad beginnings/moments. Don't close yourself out of grief, disappointments, or fears of future ridicule. Acknowledge your feelings, but work to put them behind you. Cherish what you have learned from your challenges, and how you have changed and grown from them. Forgive those who have done you wrong. Most importantly, though, forgive yourself. 5:Forgive yourself. Don't punish yourself for something you have done in the past. Instead, look at the mistake as a learning experience. Say to yourself now: “I forgive myself for ___.” Go look in a mirror and say it out loud to yourself. Look yourself right in the eyes and speak forgiveness like you mean it. Don't ever demean or ridicule yourself. If you do, laugh out loud, realizing that was then and this is now. Every day is a new beginning. If you did something you are not proud of, resolve to never do it again, and take steps to keep it out of your mind. 6:Put positive statements up some places where you will see them each and every day. "I am beautiful." or "I have the courage to love." Write notes that remind you of what you love most about yourself. Read them out loud, every day, at least once, ideally at least ten times each time you notice one of them. Sticky notes are fabulous for such affirmations and goals. 7:Sit in front of the mirror. Imagine in the mirror is someone putting you down. Then, practice calmly saying to her, "I do not care," with a smile. Practice it until you truly believe it. Do not allow some other person's image of perfect to manifest you. If you believe you are pretty, the person in the mirror will look pretty. If you focus on what others hate about you, that is all you will see. 8:Try to look past "material" objects and feelings: We all want a nice house, nice things, someone to share our life with, etc. Find your true wants objectively. Do you crave power, a religion, or simply a motive? Sometimes it's easier to hide the truth from yourself, but figuring out what you really want will help you know yourself better and hopefully aid in answering important questions you often ask yourself. 9:Keep a journal. Write about your experiences, good and bad. When you write down good experiences, allow yourself to feel those feelings. When you remember bad experiences, allow yourself to feel self-compassion. Compassion is not self-pity, but rather willingness to be present/accept with one's own pain and regret. Most people experienced chronic emotional invalidation growing up; adults shouldn't expect others to be validating, and need to learn how to validate themselves. Compassion allows us to be present with our pain so it can be acknowledged and let go. 10:Be persistent. Work as steadily as you can at loving and accepting yourself just as you are right now. A large part of love is accepting another "as is". This is no different for yourself— learn to love yourself "as is". Only after we've accepted ourselves, we might think about changing some less than desirable characteristics. 11:Start working toward how and what you want to do and be. Do so with a positive attitude, by working toward your higher purposes and greater appreciation of your problems, as motivating you're finding new and better opportunities. Be enthusiastic and cheerful (appropriately). 12:Don't define yourself by what you've done. Celebrate your accomplishments, but let go of the things you haven't done...yet? Remember that success is not a destination. Success is making progress (towards the desires of your heart). Accept yourself, and others will follow your lead. You are not your deeds, appearance, or bank balance. 13:Hug Yourself. Show yourself love through a hug by hugging the real you. 14:Be who you really are. Express yourself, laugh, play, or sing. Be crazy. Don't be afraid of what others think. They feel the same way and want to express themselves, but are afraid to show it, too. 15:Trust yourself. Don't just follow other people's suggestions blindly. Learn to trust who you really are. 16:Think of five positive words that describe you. Try not to use words like 'pretty' and 'nice'. Try variety. 17:Think about what you really want someone to be like in a relationship. Do those characteristics also apply to you? 18:Practice receiving love. To truly love is to be able to receive it. When someone loves you, does some kind deeds to you, says kind words, gives you gifts, or gives you compliments, embrace it. Allow yourself to feel the love that has come your way. Know that you are worthy of love. It is important to accept a gift of love by others. You give yourself a chance to learn more about yourself, and that you are lovable. You give someone a joy of giving by loving you. Another important way is to practice receiving love by saying “I love you” to yourself. Let that love fill your heart. Receive that love that you give to yourself unconditionally. 19:Practice saying “no”. It is okay to say “no” to people when you do not feel like doing something. Do not feel guilty about it. Just realize that you have the right to do so. This is different from doing things out of love. If you do things out of love, and your heart wants to do them, that is a different story. When your heart does not want to do it, and you feel like you have to please someone, and make others happy by over-extending yourself. Learning how to say “no” is an art. It takes practice. You might say “Thank you for asking. I am not ready to commit to doing anything right now.” You cannot please everyone. When you say “no”, remember to smile sincerely and say “no” gracefully. 20:Do what you love. Make yourself happy. What do you love to do? If you could find something that you love to do and spend time doing it, you will experience love, joy, and happiness in your heart. That is when you truly connect with your authentic self. As a result, you become happier and more loving.

WHAT IS CHILD ABUSE?

Although there are many formal and acceptable definitions of child abuse, the following is offered as a guide for information on child abuse and neglect. Child abuse consists of any act of commission or omission that endangers or impairs a child’s physical or emotional health and development. Child abuse includes any damage done to a child which cannot be reasonably explained and which is often represented by an injury or series of injuries appearing to be non-accidental in nature. Forms of Child Abuse Physical abuse Any non-accidental injury to a child. This includes hitting, kicking, slapping, shaking, burning, pinching, hair pulling, biting, choking, throwing, shoving, whipping, and paddling. Sexual abuse Any sexual act between an adult and child. This includes fondling, penetration, intercourse, exploitation, pornography, exhibitionism, child prostitution, group sex, oral sex, or forced observation of sexual acts. Neglect Failure to provide for a child’s physical needs. This includes lack of supervision, inappropriate housing or shelter, inadequate provision of food and water, inappropriate clothing for season or weather, abandonment, denial of medical care and inadequate hygiene. Emotional abuse Any attitude or behavior which interferes with a child’s mental health or social development. This includes yelling, screaming, name-calling, shaming, negative comparisons to others, telling them they are “bad, no good, worthless” or “a mistake.” It also includes the failure to provide the affection and support necessary for the development of a child’s emotional, social, physical and intellectual well-being. This includes ignoring, lack of appropriate physical affection (hugs), not saying “I love you,” withdrawal of attention, lack of praise and lack of positive reinforcement. Additional information regarding signs and symptoms of abuse (PDF). What do I do if I think someone is abusing a child? If a child discloses that he or she has been abused by someone, it is important that you LISTEN to them most of all. Ask ONLY four questions What happened? Who did this to you? Where were you when this happened? When did this happen? Asking any additional questions may contaminate a case! DO NOT Investigate Ask leading questions (a question that suggests the answer or contains the information the questioner is looking for – That man touched you, didn’t he?) Make promises Notify the parents or the caretaker DO: Provide a safe environment (be comforting, welcoming, and a good listener) Tell the child it was not his/her fault Listen carefully Document the child’s exact quotes Be supportive, not judgmental Know your limits Tell the truth If you suspect abuse, but a child has not disclosed to you, contact counselors who can talk through the situation with you and help decide what the best course of action is.

So, you've been waiting for that special someone with whom you can make that real connection. Finally, the perfectly right one walks into your life. But, how do you know you are in love and not just infatuated? 1# Notice what happens when you spend time with them. You start smiling when you see them. You feel like you're flying when he/she holds your hand. You feel like you're in heaven when he/she kisses you. You feel happy when he's/she's around You feel happier just because they talk to you. You feel jealous every time they talk or sit down with someone of a gender they are attracted to, especially when they talk too long. You will think that that person likes him/her too. 2# Observe whether you find yourself thinking about them when they're not around. You want to know everything about them and their ways from all angles. You want to talk about them to your friends. You include them in your prayers. You smile every time you see his/her photo (or feel happier). 3# You miss them when they're not around. You're lonely without them, you can't appreciate the things around you even if you're in the best place in the world. Your world seems empty without them. You can't get them out of your mind. You keep wondering what they're doing right now. You smile every time you hear their name. You get that funny feeling in your stomach when you think about him or her. You keep having visions of kissing them, or hugging him or her, and holding hands. Think about the quality of the time you spend together. You spend as much time as possible with him/her, and don't want to be apart. 4# You talk to them incessantly, sharing your ideas and your enjoyable times and events together. You have understanding for one another and know when something is wrong; like something pressing on the mind of the other. You can take a trip together and wish it would never end. When you're with them you have no other doubts of who you want to be with or where you want to be, because having them around feels like perfection. You'll treasure a gift that he or she has given to you, even a very small gift. Figure out whether you think about a future with this person. 5# You want to introduce them to everyone and to show them what you have found and are developing together. You want to know his/her family. The names of his/her brothers and sisters, and parents. You think that your name and his/hers sounds perfect together. BELLA's NOTE: If you're in love, then you will notice them for their inner beauty not for how they look. If you like them, you will blush and feel embarrassed around them. If you really like them or love them, you will feel self-conscious, yet comfortable around them. If all you feel like you want from them is their body, then it may be lust not love. Do whatever is needed and best for this person, even if it's not what you want. Don't rush love! Find someone perfect for you. Don't force yourself to "love" somebody just because they're popular, or you think you like them Don't say you are in love if you aren't sure. If you are dating but haven't been dating for a long time, then don't assume you love them and will always love them. Making big decisions like getting married or losing your virginity or sacrificing hugely for them may seem like a good idea at the time, but you may later realize that you don't love the person and feel you've made a mistake. Take your time, but don't be pessimistic or you may lose out on actual love. If you feel like you love the person, you will automatically will define them and be on their sides when something wrong happens. You have to know if he/she checks you out. Be sure of your feelings darlings. ----Gracias Por Leer!

WONDERING IF YOU'RE INLOVE?

So, you've been waiting for that special someone with whom you can make that real connection. Finally, the perfectly right one walks into your life. But, how do you know you are in love and not just infatuated? 1# Notice what happens when you spend time with them. You start smiling when you see them. You feel like you're flying when he/she holds your hand. You feel like you're in heaven when he/she kisses you. You feel happy when he's/she's around You feel happier just because they talk to you. You feel jealous every time they talk or sit down with someone of a gender they are attracted to, especially when they talk too long. You will think that that person likes him/her too. 2# Observe whether you find yourself thinking about them when they're not around. You want to know everything about them and their ways from all angles. You want to talk about them to your friends. You include them in your prayers. You smile every time you see his/her photo (or feel happier). 3# You miss them when they're not around. You're lonely without them, you can't appreciate the things around you even if you're in the best place in the world. Your world seems empty without them. You can't get them out of your mind. You keep wondering what they're doing right now. You smile every time you hear their name. You get that funny feeling in your stomach when you think about him or her. You keep having visions of kissing them, or hugging him or her, and holding hands. Think about the quality of the time you spend together. You spend as much time as possible with him/her, and don't want to be apart. 4# You talk to them incessantly, sharing your ideas and your enjoyable times and events together. You have understanding for one another and know when something is wrong; like something pressing on the mind of the other. You can take a trip together and wish it would never end. When you're with them you have no other doubts of who you want to be with or where you want to be, because having them around feels like perfection. You'll treasure a gift that he or she has given to you, even a very small gift. Figure out whether you think about a future with this person. 5# You want to introduce them to everyone and to show them what you have found and are developing together. You want to know his/her family. The names of his/her brothers and sisters, and parents. You think that your name and his/hers sounds perfect together. BELLA's NOTE: If you're in love, then you will notice them for their inner beauty not for how they look. If you like them, you will blush and feel embarrassed around them. If you really like them or love them, you will feel self-conscious, yet comfortable around them. If all you feel like you want from them is their body, then it may be lust not love. Do whatever is needed and best for this person, even if it's not what you want. Don't rush love! Find someone perfect for you. Don't force yourself to "love" somebody just because they're popular, or you think you like them Don't say you are in love if you aren't sure. If you are dating but haven't been dating for a long time, then don't assume you love them and will always love them. Making big decisions like getting married or losing your virginity or sacrificing hugely for them may seem like a good idea at the time, but you may later realize that you don't love the person and feel you've made a mistake. Take your time, but don't be pessimistic or you may lose out on actual love. If you feel like you love the person, you will automatically will define them and be on their sides when something wrong happens. You have to know if he/she checks you out. Be sure of your feelings darlings. ----Gracias Por Leer!

I've Been In NollyWood Since 2003 - Horesh Thomas

Guess what? We ran into our own Horesh thomas aka shooter speed 1 of nollywood,and of course ceased the opportunity to have a little chat with him,here's the chat»» Hello Horesh How are you Doing? -i'm good as you can see Can you spare me some time to chat with you? -of course pretty,let's chat Ok,When did you begin officially as a d.o.p? -Officially as a director of photography in far back 2005 till date,but I came into the industry since 2oo3 as an actor and it wasn't easy getting roles so I decided 2 go behind scene Have you produced any movies? -Yes I have produce like 3 movies now What are the names of your movies? -State of mind,school hour and others are in d studio 4 editing What do you think about Nollywood? -Nollywood is an improving industry with lots of growth,its growing so fast,we are doing our best to take it to the next level and with time we will get there Are you in a relationship? -Yes i'm in a relationship Are you friends with your colleagues? -My friends in the business they are doing great and we are friends,i can't be friends with everyone but couple of my colleagues are my friends,we have both working and personal relationship going on. We were all at the city people awards on sunday and we had fun together. What should we expect from you this year? -This year I am going back on screen as an actor,producer and director,i have started acting fully,some of my films are out like terrible mother,saving an enemy and all,so everyone should expect my face more on screen and more of my jobs too. Thanks a lot for your time -thanks too,you're doing great and i appreciate your job. Well sweets,you've heard from NollyWood's Horesh Thomas himself,and like he said please expect more of his jobs coming your way and by the way Remember this face.

What Would You Do?

Thanks my blog readers for your contributions and e-mails,i get em all and i'm sure i don't leave any one un-replied. This is a short story with a questions,and as usual your e-mails will be appreciated and replied. This girl(name withheld) happened to be recuperating from a bad relationship with lots of dis respects and hurts by a man she loved, circumstances made her swiftly swing into another affair hoping to feel better and nothing more but then this passionate likeness took her by surprise as she became a friend,you can use the word lover to some guy (name withheld),could it be love again so soon? She didn't want to give in cos she loved the other guy so much and you know love doesn't just die like that, Anyways slow down.. This girl happens to be a self-willed chic who believes in getting her own stuff and being independent but that doesn't mean she doesn't accept loving gestures though,first you must know this girl isn't materialistic and cannot be wooed by anything under that category and so she rejects a toyota avalon from the new friend. (Question 1) was that a wrong thing? Back to the story,he showed her the much needed respect,men will always be men and hey did someone just say cheats? Aw.. Nah i meant to say polygamous in Nature, (Question 2) must men be polygamous? Back to the story,but one thing he never did was to take certain calls in her face,or speak to her rudely,he'd rather put off his phone or keep calm,you know we women can talk!if you ask me that's "respect" or isn't it? He was soft and sweet with words and you know women like sweet romantic words like "i'm not a perfect man,i've never been but all i want to do is make you perfectly happy" or "seeing you happy everyday makes me feel fulfilled" or "what ever hurts you must have felt just put the blame on me,i'll take it all" I could go on and on with what he said or says to her but i'll put a stop for now,all that didn't just change her feelings for "the other guy" who had decided to take a break from their relationship,and everyday she'd remember the first day they made love and the promises he had made to her,only to have changed into a total stranger, so were they all lies? eww.. but the truth is he was the first man who had made love to her in the entire world so it was very natural to keep reminiscing..#naughty+she loved him and maybe still does but doubts cos its a confused feeling and it might be said she's inlove with two men,eww.. That's slutty! Well.. she still loved him sincerely but he disrespected her in different ways, (Question3) do you think its wrong to speak to a girl who isn't a mutual friend with your girlfriend for a long time in your girlfriend's presence? And at the end you're un apologetic?well women can do that too only when they're angry and maybe want to get back at their men,right girls? well.. She loved him still and as weeks wentby softly the breeze of change began to blow her feelings and heal the heart of its little scratch. Finally,her new friend/lover decided to take their relationship to a higher level when he asked her to marry him in an open party(public),hold on and let me tell you, this girl wasn't really ready for the marriage thingy at least not yet but maybe soon but couldn't turn down his proposal even though she has done that before lol,she accepted it and boom! She wanted to give it a shot,they had even planned a vacation tour in the Caribbean but a night mare resurfaced,hmm my people the cousin to her fiance' was the same guy among the many guys who raped her back in school,story changed, and the girl changed her mind about the marriage but has no rest because her fiance wouldn't let her go,keeps pleading and asking her to forgive, day in day out. I can't begin to narrate it all on this episode,but the big question is (what would you do if you were the girl) (would you revenge) (call off the engagement) or (go ahead)???? Send us an e-mail with your answers as usual ---Gracias Por Leer!

SIMPLE GESTURES THAT SAY "I LOVE YOU"

1. Respond to a need "The best way of expressing love is by anticipating a need of your partner's and fulfilling it, This shows that you listen to him/her and that his/her well-being and happiness is important to you. The key is to pay attention. For example, if your mate is stressed about work, make an effort to take on some of his personal or household chores for a while. Has he been putting off an errand? Run it for him. Don't underestimate the power of an occasional thoughtful gesture. 2. Share a laugh "All relationships have times of conflict and difficulty," Encouraging laughter ensures there's some positivity to outweigh the negativity. "That's what creates a sustainable love relationship." Send your mate an email when something funny happens or your kid says something outrageous. 3. Be full of surprises An unexpected gift or gesture says "You're special, "It shows that you think of him and feel connected to him even when you're not together." If you happen to find something that relates to a topic or activity of interest to your mate, bring it home. Love letters also make great surprises. 4. Make eye contact "Looking into each other's eyes signals you are deeply connected, Most busy couples, however, manage only quick glances. You needn't spend hours or even minutes gazing at each other. Take advantage of opportunities for eye contact that last longer than a few seconds. If you have a dinner date, lock eyes during your conversation. Face each other as you chat in bed before falling asleep. Even when surrounded by others, seek out your partner's eyes and make a quick connection. 5. Spend time together It sounds obvious, but quality time is better than saying "I love you" a thousand times. Once in a while, suggest an activity that incorporates one of your partner's interests, even if it doesn't coincide with your own. The unselfish act shows that you cherish different sides of him. 6. Hug, hold hands and cuddle Physically connecting with someone is the most natural way to express love. But after several years together, non-sexual touching often falls by the wayside, Revive it whenever you are together: pick up and squeeze his hand, or place your hand on his back. Sit close. Give him a hug goodbye and hello. And instead of sitting in separate chairs, cuddle up on the couch together once in a while. "Women aren't the only ones who want romance. Both genders want and need it, And by showing your love with these gestures, chances are your partner will start reciprocating in kind.

A Happy Birthday To Nollywood's Ruth Eze

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Our Dear ☀Ruth Eze☀ From QueenBella Team. A Little About Ruth Eze» She is and lmo State indigene, A graduate from University of Benin in Edo State. A Nollywood Actress and Scriptwriter, CEO Kasmok Entertainment And Ruth Save A Life Foundation,she's an easy going person, very humble, honest, caring and God fearing, who detest lies, deceit and of course has a strong passion for her job. HOBBIES:- loves going to the cinemas, love Traveling, shopping and love writing. Well this very day being the 16th of July 2013 my humble self and team wish her more of God's grace,mercy and love.. Cheers RUTH and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Marriage Intimacy

As a courting or engaged couple, you have probably discussed where to draw the line about sexual intimacy before marriage. The Catholic Church teaches that every act of sexual intercourse is intended by God to express love, commitment and openness to life in the total gift of the spouses to each other. This total commitment is possible only in marriage. As you move towards marriage, it’s important to make sure that sexual intimacy builds on other kinds of intimacy and does not short circuit your knowing each other on many levels. Knowledge of the other beyond the superficial Trust in the other to be a person of integrity Reliability of the other to be a person you can count on Commitment to the other that is not temporary Sexual Touch in which you give yourself fully to your beloved, the order is important. Couples should “never go further in one bonding area than you have gone in the previous.” The risk of disappointment and going beyond your safety zone will not bring you lasting happiness. Steps leading to sexual intimacy, however, are not the whole of what intimacy is about. Long-married couples know that intimacy includes so much more than just the physical. The emotional intimacy of being able to share your most private and cherished thoughts is a pre-requisite for a fulfilling marriage. Knowing that you can be vulnerable and your spouse will not use sensitive information to hurt you is another form of intimacy. Realizing that your relationship does not depend on looks, talent, success, or perfection is a kind of intimacy that money cannot buy. What about couples who live together before marriage? How does this impact a future marriage and ability to be intimate on more than just the sexual level? Given the high divorce rate, it would seem logical to live together before marriage in order to know your partner more fully. As intuitive as this assumption sounds, current research does not bear it out. Women in cohabiting relationships, and their children, are more likely to be abused. Cohabiting couples have lower levels of happiness and wellbeing compared to married couples. Why does living together before marriage to prevent divorce end up harming one’s marriage? The answer has to do with the dynamics of commitment. Cohabiting before marriage generally means that at least one partner is not ready to commit to a permanent relationship. One or both partners are holding something back. They might be censoring their words and actions to put their best foot forward, lest they lose the relationship. In other words, what you see may not be what you end up getting. Communication may not be completely honest. For example, the couple may avoid sensitive subjects that they fear will disturb the relationship. One partner may give in unduly out of fear that the other will leave. Another pitfall of cohabiting is “low commitment/high autonomy” relationships. This means that since the couple’s commitment to each other is not yet complete, each retains a degree of independence in the relationship. The longer this pattern continues the harder it is to make the transition to the high commitment needed for marriage. Does this mean that cohabiting couples are doomed to misery and divorce? No, but it does give the thoughtful person cause to pause and re-evaluate. The following is recommended Consider not living together at all before marriage. There is no evidence that cohabitors who eventually marry will have a stronger marriage than those who don’t live together. Instead, they may be at greater risk for divorce. Some studies indicate that those who live together with definite plans for marriage are at minimal risk; however, there are no positive effects from cohabiting. Do not make a habit of cohabiting. Be aware of the dangers of multiple living together experiences. Contrary to popular wisdom, multiple cohabiting experiences do not teach one how to have better relationships. Understand the danger of lengthy cohabitation. The longer you live together with a partner, the more likely that the low-commitment ethic of cohabitation will take hold, the opposite of what a successful marriage requires. Do not cohabit if children are involved. Cohabiting parents break up at a much higher rate than married parents. Moreover, children living in cohabiting unions with stepfathers or mothers’ boyfriends are at higher risk of sexual abuse and physical violence.

Good Night Poems For You And Your Loved Ones

Little friend so soft and warm What did you do all day, Getting up to mischief, all done in What then did you play Your paws are drooping on the edge Softly flopping out of beat, Leave the keyboard, say your prayers Before you fall asleep. Mmm, unless--you fetch a cozy quilt And pull up a comfy chair, If we're going to sit up half the night Sharing all our cares. Let's just make ourselves a coffee What better shall we do tonight, Than get our sighs and yawns in tune Until the morning light. Later on we'll send our hugs, good nights. Once upon a time a little twinkly star Crept up to the sleeping moon, He teased him and he tickled so To wake him very soon. But, do you think that he would stir Oh no, he would not budge For moon can never rise to shine Until he gets the nudge. The golden sun just when he knows Is the one to give the moon a wink, Now it is your turn to gleam For my ruling power is fixed. It's your turn to reflect my light While my sovereignty is afar, Go glow, be Prince of night below Shine forth the beauty that you are. Good night to you,  good night my twinkly little star The Moon Old man moon is coming soon To dream land now we go, Wrap the tresses, prayers to bless us Cuddle up just so. Owl is hooting, dog is crooning Cats are on the prowl, hug the teddy Almost ready, gently latch the window now. Shadows falling, sleep is calling Blooms are tucking in, stars are twinkling Wind is howling Where the sunny day has been. Hush now..rest now. lay so very still, Sleepy, sleepy, close your eyes Moon is peeping o'er the hill.   ♪♪ ~ Blowing night time kisses ~ Tonight as you open up your window and gaze upon the stars so bright, Stand very still, to feel the breeze upon your face, feathery whispers in the night.  Over here I'm standing on my doorstep, blowing kisses out of sight. With the wind blowing your way, and if I aim just right You will feel a little tingle, a tickle very sweet Which will be my love Alighting soft upon your cheek. Sweet Dreams --- Softly dusk is whispering, shadows move on by ushering in the misty night, Praying, dreaming, twinkling pretty fading light. Dreams now merging, drifting stars are twinkling high, Gently on the mindwaves reverberating, silver hues combine. How can a calmness be this place that feels like home. Why such beauty here to feel...  in heart to fly and see above, to know. God's hand now sweeping wide in tender tones He murmurs low, Hush, my lovely, calm of soul, be still, in Me there's all to find. Sleep sweetly now my precious one, and know in dreams tonight,  and always you are loved, forever loved, no never more alone   Three oclock bears ' Ice baby' Hush! my dear, lie still and slumber, Holy angels guard thy bed! Heavenly blessings without number Gently falling on thy head. Isaac Watts Goodnight dear day ---- Goodnight beautiful sunshine As you drift so far away, Thankyou for the gift you gave Of warmth to bless my day. Goodnight rosey sunset glow As you softly slip from sight, Thankyou for the awesome wonder As you steal away the light. Goodnight fluffy clouds Skimming out of view, Thanks, you un-veil the stars The darkness to subdue. Goodnight velvet ocean Teasing gently all my senses, at my feet, Thankyou for the calmness of your ripples, little tickles very sweet. Goodnight dear friends everywhere Who are calling out to me, I thank God for your everlasting love Oh, what a lovely day it's been.   BELLA wishes you all readers a great night *goodnight kisses*

Is Your Spouse Lying?

How to Tell if Your Spouse Is Lying Below are the signs and behaviors of someone who is not quite telling the truth. Be on the lookout if your man or woman is exhibiting these behaviours- they just may be lying to you! 1: Watch their eyes. Whenever you ask your partner to explain something, take note of where their eyes go. Your left or your right side? Looking to the left could mean your guy or girl is lying to you. Looking to the left (their eyes go to your left, but it would be their right) means they are creating what they are saying- thinking up what they are going to say next. If they look to your right, they are remembering whatever they are about to say from memory, and means they are likely telling the truth. 2: Watch to see if his hands go into his pockets, or he's somehow covering his palms. This is an instinctive move to conceal- he is covering something up. This one goes for guys only. Is she covering her throat? This means that she feels threatened, and it could potentially mean she's lying. This one goes for girls only. Take note of how he or she is reacting to you. Are they getting hostile, or irritated? This is a sign they are lying. Someone who is telling the truth has no need to get angry at someone else asking them, for example, about where they were last night if they were truly where they say they were. Reacting in a nervous way is also a red flag. 3: Watch their expressions. There are other ways their eyes will reveal what is really going on in their head. Can they not look you in the eye? Not being able to look someone in the eyes while lying is an obvious one. But there's one you may not be too familiar with. Is he or she looking into your eyes for long periods of time, almost as if they're staring you down? Staring or keeping their gaze on your eyes and not looking away can mean they are trying to gain control. It can also mean your guy or girl is trying to gain your trust in some way by showing that they can look at you while they're talking. A person telling the truth is going to have a regular eye pattern, looking at you for a few seconds and then looking away again. 4: Pay attention to the body language. Wrapping a leg around a chair leg is another sign. It's an outer sign of inner restraint- he or she is instinctively doing this because they are holding something back. You're not getting the whole truth. Also look out for folded arms or crossed legs. 5: See if they go pale. If his or her face goes pale it indicates they're fearful, and if it gets flushed or turns red/pink it indicates shame or anger. 6: Take note of whether he/she pauses before answering or answers the question very quickly, maybe even before you have finished asking the question. These are signs he/she is lying. 7: Watch their mannerisms. Are they being too polite or overly apologetic? This may indicate your guy or girl is lying. 8: After you have asked a question, do they ask you to repeat it? Do they repeat the question themselves? These are indicators your partner is lying to you. 8: Any body language your guy or girl is giving off that isn't normal for them could be a sign they are lying. (Ex. using more or less hand gestures than normal while explaining something). NOTE: These signs go for both men and women. (With the exception of #'s 2 & 3. Number 2 is a guy thing, and is to be watched for in guys. Number 3 is a girl thing, and is to be watched for in girls). If your guy or girl is exhibiting one or more of these signs, they very well may be lying to you!... I wouldn't say what you should do, you should know how best to handle the situation right? Bella say so! -Gracias Por Leer!

Is Your Spouse Lying?

How to Tell if Your Spouse Is Lying Below are the signs and behaviors of someone who is not quite telling the truth. Be on the lookout if your man or woman is exhibiting these behaviours- they just may be lying to you! 1: Watch their eyes. Whenever you ask your partner to explain something, take note of where their eyes go. Your left or your right side? Looking to the left could mean your guy or girl is lying to you. Looking to the left (their eyes go to your left, but it would be their right) means they are creating what they are saying- thinking up what they are going to say next. If they look to your right, they are remembering whatever they are about to say from memory, and means they are likely telling the truth. 2: Watch to see if his hands go into his pockets, or he's somehow covering his palms. This is an instinctive move to conceal- he is covering something up. This one goes for guys only. Is she covering her throat? This means that she feels threatened, and it could potentially mean she's lying. This one goes for girls only. Take note of how he or she is reacting to you. Are they getting hostile, or irritated? This is a sign they are lying. Someone who is telling the truth has no need to get angry at someone else asking them, for example, about where they were last night if they were truly where they say they were. Reacting in a nervous way is also a red flag. 3: Watch their expressions. There are other ways their eyes will reveal what is really going on in their head. Can they not look you in the eye? Not being able to look someone in the eyes while lying is an obvious one. But there's one you may not be too familiar with. Is he or she looking into your eyes for long periods of time, almost as if they're staring you down? Staring or keeping their gaze on your eyes and not looking away can mean they are trying to gain control. It can also mean your guy or girl is trying to gain your trust in some way by showing that they can look at you while they're talking. A person telling the truth is going to have a regular eye pattern, looking at you for a few seconds and then looking away again. 4: Pay attention to the body language. Wrapping a leg around a chair leg is another sign. It's an outer sign of inner restraint- he or she is instinctively doing this because they are holding something back. You're not getting the whole truth. Also look out for folded arms or crossed legs. 5: See if they go pale. If his or her face goes pale it indicates they're fearful, and if it gets flushed or turns red/pink it indicates shame or anger. 6: Take note of whether he/she pauses before answering or answers the question very quickly, maybe even before you have finished asking the question. These are signs he/she is lying. 7: Watch their mannerisms. Are they being too polite or overly apologetic? This may indicate your guy or girl is lying. 8: After you have asked a question, do they ask you to repeat it? Do they repeat the question themselves? These are indicators your partner is lying to you. 8: Any body language your guy or girl is giving off that isn't normal for them could be a sign they are lying. (Ex. using more or less hand gestures than normal while explaining something). NOTE: These signs go for both men and women. (With the exception of #'s 2 & 3. Number 2 is a guy thing, and is to be watched for in guys. Number 3 is a girl thing, and is to be watched for in girls). If your guy or girl is exhibiting one or more of these signs, they very well may be lying to you!... I wouldn't say what you should do, you should know how best to handle the situation right? Bella say so! -Gracias Por Leer!

Is Your Spouse Lying?

How to Tell if Your Spouse Is Lying Below are the signs and behaviors of someone who is not quite telling the truth. Be on the lookout if your man or woman is exhibiting these behaviours- they just may be lying to you! 1: Watch their eyes. Whenever you ask your partner to explain something, take note of where their eyes go. Your left or your right side? Looking to the left could mean your guy or girl is lying to you. Looking to the left (their eyes go to your left, but it would be their right) means they are creating what they are saying- thinking up what they are going to say next. If they look to your right, they are remembering whatever they are about to say from memory, and means they are likely telling the truth. 2: Watch to see if his hands go into his pockets, or he's somehow covering his palms. This is an instinctive move to conceal- he is covering something up. This one goes for guys only. Is she covering her throat? This means that she feels threatened, and it could potentially mean she's lying. This one goes for girls only. Take note of how he or she is reacting to you. Are they getting hostile, or irritated? This is a sign they are lying. Someone who is telling the truth has no need to get angry at someone else asking them, for example, about where they were last night if they were truly where they say they were. Reacting in a nervous way is also a red flag. 3: Watch their expressions. There are other ways their eyes will reveal what is really going on in their head. Can they not look you in the eye? Not being able to look someone in the eyes while lying is an obvious one. But there's one you may not be too familiar with. Is he or she looking into your eyes for long periods of time, almost as if they're staring you down? Staring or keeping their gaze on your eyes and not looking away can mean they are trying to gain control. It can also mean your guy or girl is trying to gain your trust in some way by showing that they can look at you while they're talking. A person telling the truth is going to have a regular eye pattern, looking at you for a few seconds and then looking away again. 4: Pay attention to the body language. Wrapping a leg around a chair leg is another sign. It's an outer sign of inner restraint- he or she is instinctively doing this because they are holding something back. You're not getting the whole truth. Also look out for folded arms or crossed legs. 5: See if they go pale. If his or her face goes pale it indicates they're fearful, and if it gets flushed or turns red/pink it indicates shame or anger. 6: Take note of whether he/she pauses before answering or answers the question very quickly, maybe even before you have finished asking the question. These are signs he/she is lying. 7: Watch their mannerisms. Are they being too polite or overly apologetic? This may indicate your guy or girl is lying. 8: After you have asked a question, do they ask you to repeat it? Do they repeat the question themselves? These are indicators your partner is lying to you. 8: Any body language your guy or girl is giving off that isn't normal for them could be a sign they are lying. (Ex. using more or less hand gestures than normal while explaining something). NOTE: These signs go for both men and women. (With the exception of #'s 2 & 3. Number 2 is a guy thing, and is to be watched for in guys. Number 3 is a girl thing, and is to be watched for in girls). If your guy or girl is exhibiting one or more of these signs, they very well may be lying to you!... I wouldn't say what you should do, you should know how best to handle the situation right? Bella say so! -Gracias Por Leer!

Being Single and Happy

Being single is not anything to be ashamed about in our age! We live in a time when most relationships break up and there is no guarantee that even the best ones will last. In the meantime, there is much to enjoy in life, and singleness has a great many benefits that those couples you envy would give an arm or a leg for! 1: Take charge of your reality and give up all that envy! Stop worrying about everyone else around you getting into relationships, and thinking that you need to as well. All those happy couples in movies and TV shows are the fabrications of writers designed to get high TV ratings. Real couples have messy lives,they fight, leave the bathroom dirty and steal the remote from each other. Give up those unrealistic fantasies of your 'soulmate', and notice how most people around you are just regular folk - good people, but not magical heroes who fix each others' lives. 2: Focus on becoming the best person you can be. Take classes, work out, grow a garden, do volunteer work, go to therapy, do whatever your heart desires. Remember that everything you do should be for you! High self confidence will attract more friends and maybe in the long run even a little romance. (Once you become the person you like, though, you may be less willing to compromise what's important for romance.) Concentrate on yourself and figure out what you like and don't like. Make plans with friends that you haven't seen in a while. Take a nice, hot bath. Read a book,see movies. Take time for yourself, and don't sweat finding someone. You can't go on looking for love, love has to find you. 3: Indulge yourself. Go out and get your nails done, have a spa day or get a massage. Just because you don't have someone to impress or please doesn't mean you should stop pleasing yourself. You are a strong, independent person who deserves the best. So give it to yourself! 4: Play the field. Go out and have fun. Go out party with your friends. Dance and flirt with others if you like. Don't be afraid to give or take phone numbers, just realize that nothing may come of it. Don't take the above advice to mean that you should go for every piece of ass or skirt out there. You have a reputation to uphold, and a promise to your body, mind and soul to take care of you. You don't need another person to make you feel special. 5: Realize that you are still lucky and fortunate. Many people around the world are either: chronically ill, homeless, living in poverty, starving, fleeing from warfare, and have no personal freedoms due to dictatorships. If you are depressed and think you are not lucky because you are single, think again!. People in those aforementioned conditions have it harder than you! 6: Take up a new hobby! Learn guitar, join a tap class, grow a garden, write a novel, cook some gourmet meals! Whatever you've ever wanted to do, do it now. Trying something new can lead to new skills, friendships, and self esteem. 7: Look in the mirror. Say things that you like about yourself. Repeat phrases to yourself such as "I am a strong, and beautiful individual" and tell your reflection that you love you. You need to know that you cannot expect others to make you happy. You are the only person who can make you happy in the end. 8: Become an optimist. This is a trait that helps you whether you are single, married, divorced or widowed! Keep a gratitude diary and every night think of 3 things you are grateful for. Find the silver lining in everything throughout your day, and savor little pleasures. You'll live longer, make it through tough times more smoothly, and even avoid the common cold more often! BELLA's ADVICE: Say to yourself you are worthy of being loved, particularly by yourself. Loving yourself is both accepting who you are now and knowing there are always things you can do to make you even more awesome than you are now. Truly loving yourself also means it is harder for others to hurt you. Rejection won't sting as much, after all they couldn't possibly love you more than you do. Don't sit around thinking what you don't have. Instead, be happy that you have friends, family, good health. Value the things that you have, such as your creativity, your intelligence, your friends or your pet(s) as well as your newly-found independence. You don't need to fake and plaster on smiles all the time if you're not truly happy. Be yourself. If it's a recent break-up it's ok to be sad... but only for a period of time that's proportionate to the length/intensity of the ended relationship. Any longer, is just not being fair to yourself or others. Is there anything else you'd like to ask Bella? Then send her an e-mail and she'll reply you shortly. - GRACIAS POR LEER!

What Does Your Smile Say About You?

Want to succeed in business, fill up your social calendar, and get more romance into your life? One secret may be in your smile. Your smile -- simple, straightforward, and most important, sincere -- can attract more than admiring looks. A smiling face tells people that you’re an outgoing and intelligent person worth getting to know. "When someone has a big smile, it shows they’re willing to open up and expose a part of themselves," says BELLA" Over the long term, smiling can benefit your health, perception at work, social life, and romantic status.  With that much at stake, it's worthwhile to discover what your smile is saying about you -- and how to interpret the smiles flashed your way. Smiling Eyes Aren't Just for the Irish Many people look at the mouth to judge a person’s mood, but people smile for all sorts of reasons: anger, fear, embarrassment, confusion, to deceive. It’s really your eyes that give you away. The muscles around the eyes can’t be forced to look happy. When people smile for real, their cheeks rise and the skin around their eyes bunches up. In fact, in certain countries where suppressing emotion is a cultural norm, people look more at each other’s eyes to gauge emotion. A Smile Makes You Look Successful "A smile conveys confidence and professionalism," BELLA" People who project a positive outlook are generally more open and flexible. They tend to cope better with challenges than people who are withdrawn and unsmiling. A study that followed a group of women for 30 years shows the lifetime benefits of smiling. The women who displayed genuinely happy smiles in their college yearbook photos went on to have happier marriages and greater wellbeing. In the same study, a group of strangers looked at the college photos and reported their assumptions about the women’s personalities. The women who smiled were judged to be more positive and competent than those who didn’t. Turn that Frown Upside Down; Want to be happy? Just smile. Believe it or not, forcing yourself to smile can actually make you happier. Smiling just makes you look like that jolly-good fellow by the way i mean a good smile yep, it just speaks good of your personality. So smile... Like a baby...☺. -Gracias Por Leer!

The Poison of Jealousy In A Relationship

Let’s face it, most dating relationships don’t last. Some should’ve never begun in the first place. Just a casual look at both parties would tell you the relationship would soon fall apart. But there are other relationships that should last much longer and have a far more positive effect on both people. Some relationships are very fragile and can easily be destroyed. In fact, it is far easier to destroy a relationship than it is to build one. One of the most deadly relationship wreckers is jealousy. And if we thought real hard, we could probably find “50 Ways to Wreck A Relationship,” as well. I want to help you to be aware of, and learn how to be on guard against, one of the worst things that can creep in and destroy the relationship with your bf/gf.  One of the most deadly relationship wreckers is jealousy. Jealousy is toxic poison to your soul and your relationships. What is jealousy? Some people mistake it for love, but at the core of all jealousy is fear and selfishness. Jealousy refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened. It’s a state of fear, suspicion, or envy. Some people mistake it for love, but at the core of all jealousy is fear and selfishness.  Why is jealousy a relationship wrecker? Why is it so damaging? Because it stifles and demeans, putting both parties in bondage. Most times it creates a fear built on paranoia. There are many signs a relationship is under attack by the wretched behavior of jealousy: Do you continually watch for the way he/she looks at other people? Are you concerned your bf/gf might be sneaking around behind your back, even though you don’t have any evidence for those accusations? Are you constantly dreading the thought you will soon lose your bf/gf to someone else? Do you question everything they say and do, because you are certain they aren’t telling the truth? Does you demand your bf/gf quit hanging around, or talking to, anybody from the opposite sex? Are you always calling, texting your bf/gf trying to figure out where they are at that very moment? Do you demand your bf/gf to only spend time with you? Are you constantly dreading the thought you will soon lose your bf/gf to someone else? These are just a few of the sure-fire ways to know the cancer of jealousy is eating away at your relationship.  At the very core of jealousy is fear, insecurity, and selfishness. Jessiy commented:"I think a guy or girl being insecure will have a toll on a relationship because the one with the insecurities will overreact and accuse the other of things not necessarily true. Also going along with being insecure, a lack of trust will affect someone's relationship." Jealousy leads to an unhealthy desire to be possessive of your bf/gf…. Being jealous will also cause you to be obsessed with your bf/gf. Getting concerned about his/her every move, and giving way too much smothering attention will definitely cause tremendous damage to the relationship. Jealousy also leads to an unhealthy desire to be possessive of your bf/gf, making sure you are the only person he/she ever does anything with and causing a scene when he/she wants to do something with other people, even his/her friends. Jealousy seeks to control the other person. Brent summed it up well when he explained the confusion and hurt jealousy can bring."She did that? She said this, she said that? He did this, he did that. It’s all worthless chatter. I believe the only person that you can control is yourself, the only person you can change the thought patterns is of yourself. I wish I could take back the last years before the breakdown with my sweetheart.”  If you sense your relationship is being destroyed because of jealousy, you may want to admit to yourself that: Jealousy pretends to be a form of love. Jealousy is never love, but just the opposite. Jealousy is another form of selfishness. Jealousy is fed by fear. Jealousy is emotional poison. Jealousy causes unnecessary drama. Jealousy is destructive to the other person’s self-esteem. Jealousy is cruel and stifling. Jealousy grows from deep within our troubled emotions. Jealousy seeks to control the other person. Jealousy causes confusion. Jealousy is time consuming. Jealousy doesn’t go away on its own. Jealousy wrecks relationships. If you feel you are jealous, seek forgiveness from your bf/gf, taking the responsibility of being a relationship wrecker. Ask your partner to point out to you when you are showing signs of jealousy. You may also want to talk with a minister, counselor, or a therapist to help you get to the root of your jealousy You hear?

Learning to Love a Woman the Right Way

If you are in an established relationship but feel that you may have dropped the ball somewhere along the way, more than likely your woman is feeling the effects of your actions towards her and the relationship. It is said that women are emotional creatures by nature. The moment your woman begins to feel uneasy, and insecure about where this relationship is headed and how you feel about her, it is at that point you must let her know just how much you love her. Now maybe you don’t know how be as forward with expressing your love for her the same way that she does to you. However, if this is a woman you truly want to be with, then it’s time to re-evaluate your situation, learn how to reciprocate her love and work towards building a healthy long-lasting loving relationship. First you need to think about your goals, priorities and the kind of man you already are (or want to become), and the kind of woman you really need to be apart of your life. Nobody is perfect, but often times men don’t do any self-reflecting. The only way to love a woman the right way is to change the way you think and feel about yourself in certain situations. Women love attention. A woman wants to be able to express her thoughts, feelings, dreams and worries to you without fear of condemnation or worse, being ignored. When she talks to you it’s not because she necessarily wants you to find a solution or fix the issues she discusses with you. Just being able to acknowledge her feelings and offer your emotional support all that is needed. This is why communication is a key. Talk to your woman. Let her know that you are listening. Once a woman sees that you are expressing interest in what she has to say she will more than likely reciprocate the very same feelings towards you. When you give your attention to her, you instill a feeling of worthiness. Women love a man who exudes a positive attitude and energy. Any person who can align their thoughts, words and actions without getting upset is someone who is strong in mind and heart. Walking around with a chip on your shoulder getting upset at every single perceived slight, and believing that the world has something against you is very negative. You cannot have this kind of personality or attitude and expect to be deserving of a good woman. It won’t happen. But striving to be a man of good character will attract a woman who will not only enhance your life, but a woman who will build you up and love you unconditionally. Together you will create a relationship that generates positive feelings for each other. Always respect a woman. Your life will be blessed in accordance to the amount of respect and honor you show a woman. It will not only show her, but others around you such as friends and family, that you know how to value your relationships. Compliments and small acts of kindness can go a very long way. Romance doesn’t always necessarily have to include roses, exotic travel and love making. But can mean helping your woman out or making thoughtful gestures before she asks you to.  Make Her Feel Secure, Having a sense of security is the base of every relationship. Every woman wants a man who will make her feel protected. A man who will be there during all times, not just the when everything is going well. A sense of security is instilled in a woman when you show her that if there is ever anything she needs, even if it’s just a listening ear you will be there for her. This aint no hell of a deal is it? NOPE,says who? Says me BELLA *wink*

Treating a Woman Right

If you want to treat your woman right,its easy just read,understand and act upon it» Being a Good Communicator: Communicate your feelings. Some men underestimate the importance of telling a woman how they feel. In many cases, men prefer to use actions rather than words to communicate their feelings. If that sounds like you, you should know that women need to hear "I love you" from time to time, so make it a point to express that sentiment. If you have trouble saying the words, try writing a note or getting a card to let her know how you feel. The good news: turns out that men are more often the ones to declare feelings of love first in a relationship. Research has determined that men take only 88 days to tell their partner they love them (compared to a woman's 134)while another study says men say "I love you" first 70% of the time. Watch your timing. Women prefer to hear "I love you" after sex rather than before. It could be they distrust the words a bit if they're uttered before sex as it makes them wonder if your saying "I love you" simply to get some action. Be a good listener. Everyone--not only women--wants to be heard. If you know how to listen, your woman will greatly appreciate it, and the bond between you two will grow. Try these tips to be a better listener. Get rid of distractions. That might mean turning off the ballgame or ignoring the text you just got. Try to keep from interrupting unless the question is crucial to your understanding of the situation. Putting your focus completely on your woman shows her that she's important and that you value and are interested in what she has to say. Read non-verbal cues. Gestures, facial expressions and eye-movements can all be important. Don't just listen with your ears but also with your eyes so you can gain greater insight into what she's feeling. See things from her point of view. Your girlfriend or wife may be upset about something that would never trouble you, or she might describe a scenario you can't imagine being a part of--but you have to try. Put yourself in her shoes to try to understand what she's communicating more clearly. Even if you don't agree with her reaction or her opinion, keep an open mind and let her know that in any dispute you're always on her side. Refrain from solving the problem. When a woman is talking through a problem she's facing, a man's first response is to jump in and try to solve it. That impulse comes from a good place, but it's not what a woman wants. She simply wants to be heard, so refrain from coming to the rescue with a solution for the situation. If she does ask your opinion about what she should do, feel free to offer your suggestions, but don't be offended if she chooses a different course of action. Ask her how she's feeling. In many cases,you'll know exactly how the woman in your life is feeling, but sometimes, especially when a relationship is new, you'll have to ask. Researchers in a study published in the journal PLOS showed men images of eyes belonging to men and women and discovered that it was twice as difficult for the men to accurately guess what women were feeling as it was for them to guess what the men were feeling. They also took longer attempting to interpret the women's eyes. Fight fair. Even the closest of couples will have arguments; what's important is how you talk to your woman during those disagreements. Do not call names or make threats or use physical intimidation. When the fight is over, don't hold on to hurt feelings; reach out and meet your woman halfway in making up. Showing Respect: Behave like a gentleman. Open doors for your woman, hold out your hand to help her out of the car, take her coat and so on. Some of these behaviors might be labeled "old fashioned" or even be frowned on in the workplace, but if your woman feels comfortable with it, engage in some extra courtesies to make things a little easier and more comfortable for her. Be polite. Women like to hear "please" and "thank you." Even if you've been dating a while or married a long time, don't throw manners out the window. Show her the same thoughtfulness you'd show anyone else. Avoid using profanity. Never use profanity or offensive slang to refer to your woman, even if you're just kidding. If you hold her in high regard, be sure your language reflects that. Don't change or break plans. If it's an emergency or the change is completely unavoidable, of course you can break a date, but be sure to give as much advance notice as possible and offer a very good explanation and an apology. Be on time. If you're running late, call as soon as you can to let her know. Everyone's time is valuable, and being somewhere when you say you will is just common courtesy. Resist the impulse to put off calling because you fear your woman will be angry. She might be, but chances are she'll be even angrier if you're not in touch. Treat her family well. Even if she says that she's not close with her family, always be respectful toward them and avoid criticizing them. Family bonds can be strong, and parents and siblings can influence a woman's decision to date or dump a guy. If a woman has children, be friendly toward them and do your best to get to know them. Women are quick to say good-bye to men who do not treat their children with kindness. Don't ever overstep your bounds and try to parent or discipline her kids; leave that to the woman in your life. Avoid jealousy. Being jealous of male friends, co-workers and exes without good reason tells a woman that you consider her to be deceitful and of low moral character. Not a message you want to send to someone you care for. Help around the house. If you two live together, pitch in on chores. Both of you are responsible for the housework. Don't expect her to constantly pick up after you. One of the surest ways to a woman's heart is with a vacuum cleaner in one hand and a box of laundry detergent in the other. Making Her Feel Special Acknowledge special occasions. Be sure you're ready with a card and a gift when her birthday rolls around, or it's time to celebrate Christmas or Valentine's Day. Marking these and other occasions with tokens of love and appreciation are a great way to make a woman feel special. Remember, too, that right or wrong, her family and friends will likely ask her what you got her or how the two of you celebrated. Don't put your woman on the spot by forcing her to lie or to admit that you let the occasion pass without recognition. Celebrate your anniversary. Anniversaries are like mini-time machines,they allow the two of you to relive an important event (your wedding day, your first date, etc.) They're a chance to re-experience the special emotion created in and by that moment. Show the woman in your life that you value that event and all that's happened since, by doing something special on your anniversary. If you can afford it and your wife or girlfriend would enjoy it, go ahead and do something extravagant. But what can be most meaningful is a card or a conversation in which you reminisce about the good times and the growth of your relationship and your happiness. Give thoughtful gifts. Gifts that come from the heart are among the most appreciated. Put some time and thought into choosing something your woman would love or make something for her yourself. When you invest that kind of time and thought into gift giving, she can't help but be touched. Give flowers. Not every woman is a sucker for flowers, but the majority really do appreciate a bouquet, especially if it's being given for no particular reason. Bring flowers on your next date or have them delivered to her home or workplace if that's appropriate. A card that says simply "Thinking of you" is enough to bring a smile to her face. Mention her to your friends. If she's important to you, your friends should know it. That doesn't mean that you have to go on and on about her (and never discuss what happens in the bedroom with your friends), but making it clear that she's an important part of your life will make her feel special versus make her feel like someone you want to hide or keep from your friends. Bringing the Romance Understand that little things mean a lot. While big romantic gestures may have their place, it's the little things that show a woman how much she means to you. Thoughtful acts like bringing her a cup of coffee in the morning or putting air in her car tires are very concrete ways of saying "I love you" without you having to utter a word. Be consistent. Show her in some way each day that you're thinking of her and trying to make her life a bit easier and happier. Send a message. Scratch out a quick note, send her a text or fire off an email to let her know you're thinking of her. If she has a big day coming up,a job interview, a presentation at work send her a message of encouragement and support. Give compliments. You may never have to answer the question, "Do these pants make my butt look big?" if you're quick to compliment your woman on her appearance. Dispel any insecurities by saying nice things about parts of her body she might feel less than great about, and don't forget to compliment the things you find most attractive about her. Don't underestimate the impact of a simple "You look beautiful"--that pretty much says it all. If you do get the "Do these pants make my butt look big?" question, the correct answer is always "No." We all like to be recognized for the things that make us special, so compliment your woman for being who she is. Is she creative, fascinating, funny? Do you admire her achievements and her outlook on life? Tell her! And be sure to look her straight in the eye when you do so. Follow her lead. Initially, let the woman set the pace for your physical relationship. No woman wants to feel pressured to have sex before she's ready, and everyone has a different timetable for being ready. Let her know how you feel, but back off (without pouting) if she wants to wait before getting intimate. Embrace foreplay. Physiologically, experts agree that foreplay is an important part of sexual health. In fact, an Australian study found that the majority of women are more aroused by the idea of foreplay than sex itself. Hold, touch and caress your partner, play games or talk dirty. If you're not sure what your woman likes, ask. Just do it outside the bedroom. It's easier to have that conversation if you're not just about to have sex. Pop the question. If you love her, you're ready to settle down and you know she's the one, then make the commitment. If you plan to propose marriage, be sure you mean it. Buy a ring if you can, get on one knee and tell her that you can't imagine your life without her and ask if she'll do you the honor of becoming your wife. Hey man! Just make that woman feel like a Queen,yea yea thank me later duh! BELLA -Gracias Por Leer!

Health Benefits Of Laughter

Is there anything better than a contagious giggle that you absolutely can’t control? (Ok, maybe not so good in school or church.) Laughter works wonderfully well in the moment, but it also has some surprising long-term health benefits. The new field of gelotology is exploring the benefits of laughter. It was brought to the public’s awareness in Norman Cousins’ memoir Anatomy of an Illness. Cousins found that comedies, like those of the Marx Brothers, helped him feel better and get some pain-free sleep. That’s because laughter helps the pituitary gland release its own pain-suppressing opiates. What can laughter do?: Lower blood pressure• Increase vascular blood flow and oxygenation of the blood• Give a workout to the diaphragm and abdominal, respiratory, facial, leg, and back muscles• Reduce certain stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline• Increase the response of tumor- and disease-killing cells such as Gamma-interferon and T-cells• Defend against respiratory infections–even reducing the frequency of colds–by immunoglobulon in saliva• Increase memory and learning; in a study at Johns Hopkins University Medical School, humor during instruction led to increased test scores• Improve alertness, creativity, and memory Humor and creativity work in similar ways• By creating relationships between two disconnected items, you engage the whole brain. Humor works quickly. Less than a half-second after exposure to something funny, and electrical wave moves through the higher brain functions of the cerebral cortex. The left hemisphere analyzes the words and structures of the joke; the right hemisphere “gets” the joke; the visual sensory area of the occipital lobe creates images; the limbic (emotional) system makes you happier; and the motor sections make you smile or laugh. So let’s laugh. What makes you laugh? Tell us your favorite funny movie, or how about a good joke? Laugh, laugh and have a great night!

The 4 Reasons Men Fall in Love

Men love to be in love, That's the definitive word from relationship expert David Zinczenko. "When a man falls for a woman, he falls hard. Men love to be in love, "While men often get stereotyped as single-minded sex-seekers, the truth is that a man's stomach churns like a slushy machine when he's in those initial stages of the perfect relationship." According to a recent Harris Interactive Poll, 60 percent of men say they fall in love and stay in love because of friendship, while just 8 percent cite sex as the top reason for falling in love. Women can give men a little nudge when it comes to falling in love by doing these four things: A Woman With a Passion for Something Other Than Him While every man wants his lady to indulge him and spoil him just a little,think lots of compliments and kisses,what he needs to help the relationship last is for her to have a passionate interest in something other than him. That can be work, a sport, a hobby or anything. "The passion she shows for something else confirms her inherent goodness, her personal drive, her independence,"All pluses in the woman he's hoping to spend a few decades with." A Woman Who Has No Problem With Guy Time When a man and a woman fall in love, they naturally spend time together. That time increases as they move from a casual relationship to something more serious. At some point, though, most men will want to go golfing or drinking with their buddies. "Men love, appreciate and are thankful for women who respect and endorse (and not complain about) his need to have a few testosterone mixers." A Woman With a Strut The way a woman walks is very important to a man, and could very well be what attracted him to her in the first place. "What do I mean by the strut? It's that attitude, that sassiness, that confidence, that charisma, that charm that shows she can be a little bold and a little daring, the strut shows confidence. Men want someone who can challenge them and even push them a little and at times take the lead. Beware, though! That strut can be dangerous if she ever uses it to flirt with other men or pick a fight with his mother. A Woman With a Good Taste For instance,a woman who can choose a tie that fits her man's personality,be it elegant or playful--is a woman who can offer gentle guidance and nurturing, as well as warn him when his shirt and pants don't match. "Guys like to project that they know what they're doing and that they don't need any help, men need women who can help steer them, without aggressively grabbing the wheel, are the most treasured co-pilots.

The 4 Reasons Men Fall in Love

Men love to be in love, That's the definitive word from relationship expert David Zinczenko. "When a man falls for a woman, he falls hard. Men love to be in love, "While men often get stereotyped as single-minded sex-seekers, the truth is that a man's stomach churns like a slushy machine when he's in those initial stages of the perfect relationship." According to a recent Harris Interactive Poll, 60 percent of men say they fall in love and stay in love because of friendship, while just 8 percent cite sex as the top reason for falling in love. Women can give men a little nudge when it comes to falling in love by doing these four things: A Woman With a Passion for Something Other Than Him While every man wants his lady to indulge him and spoil him just a little,think lots of compliments and kisses,what he needs to help the relationship last is for her to have a passionate interest in something other than him. That can be work, a sport, a hobby or anything. "The passion she shows for something else confirms her inherent goodness, her personal drive, her independence,"All pluses in the woman he's hoping to spend a few decades with." A Woman Who Has No Problem With Guy Time When a man and a woman fall in love, they naturally spend time together. That time increases as they move from a casual relationship to something more serious. At some point, though, most men will want to go golfing or drinking with their buddies. "Men love, appreciate and are thankful for women who respect and endorse (and not complain about) his need to have a few testosterone mixers." A Woman With a Strut The way a woman walks is very important to a man, and could very well be what attracted him to her in the first place. "What do I mean by the strut? It's that attitude, that sassiness, that confidence, that charisma, that charm that shows she can be a little bold and a little daring, the strut shows confidence. Men want someone who can challenge them and even push them a little and at times take the lead. Beware, though! That strut can be dangerous if she ever uses it to flirt with other men or pick a fight with his mother. A Woman With a Good Taste For instance,a woman who can choose a tie that fits her man's personality,be it elegant or playful--is a woman who can offer gentle guidance and nurturing, as well as warn him when his shirt and pants don't match. "Guys like to project that they know what they're doing and that they don't need any help, men need women who can help steer them, without aggressively grabbing the wheel, are the most treasured co-pilots.

The 10 Commandments of Marriage

It's safe to assume you and your spouse don't have special powers, so use the power of open communication. Relationships are difficult. A relationship takes work, compromise and a lot of understanding. Most of all, it takes communication. Just because you’re in love with your spouse doesn’t mean that all will run smoothly. What is love? Everyone’s definition is different, but poets have been writing about it for centuries. For example, "true love is where your heart and your minds are saying the same thing" or "love is like quicksand—the harder you fall in, the harder it is to get out." Some people think that love is a friendship and friendship is love. Shakespeare wrote, "Love comforteth like sunshine after rain." Austrian poet Friedrich Halm said that love is, "Two souls with a single thought and two hearts that beat as one." As you can see, many people have attempted to define what love is; fewer have attempted to define what it’s not. Someone cannot define what love is for you because the answer must come from within you. What you feel is different than what someone else feels and defines as love. Love is many things. It provides different things to different couples. Love can give pleasure, comfort, security, sex, friendship, joy or a combination of some or all of these things. But, what does it not give? In order to maintain love, one of the things you must know, at the very outset, is that love does not give you the ability to read someone else's mind, or them to read yours. If someone cannot read your mind, that means that when you have a feeling, a concern, or a need, you need to express it. You cannot assume that the other person will know it simply because he or she loves you. In other words, communication is critical to maintain love throughout the relationship or marriage. If it’s jewelry you want for your birthday, you need to speak up. If you want to go to the movies over the weekend, you cannot assume that your partner knows that. If you’re uncomfortable about the way money is being spent in the marriage, you must say something. Why is this important? Disappointment leads to arguments. Frustration about the way the marriage is proceeding leads to resentments that often cannot be undone. Is it fair to be disappointed because your love cannot read your mind? Is it fair to be disappointed because your love didn’t give you the gift you wanted? Is it fair to be angry that you’re not saving money and always in debt? Without communication and discussion, the relationship is heading for resentments, fights and a lack of closeness. Communication in a relationship is critical. If there is something that you feel in your heart, it must be expressed or it stays in your heart and you are the only one who knows about it. If you suddenly decide that you want to go back to school, don’t keep that a secret. If your wife has been cooking your meat well-done because she likes it that way and always thought you did as well, and you’re turned off by the shoe leather nature of dinner, you must tactfully speak up. If you decide that you want three children instead of the two that you and your partner have always discussed, it doesn’t help to stop using birth control and then say, whoops! You have to discuss that with your spouse or you may end up being the separated parents of three children. Love and marriage is all about communication it’s specifically about sharing your feelings and letting the other person know your wants and needs. Relationships are about trying to meet each other’s needs, while not stepping on your own. That only comes about by telling the other person what your needs are. If it comes to a point where they can’t be met, that’s one thing, but they will never be met if you assume the other person can pick them out of your brain without you speaking up. Commandment 4. Argue Constructively Commandment 3. Make Dates With Your Spouse Commandment 2. Communicate With Your Spouse Commandment 1. Prioritize Your Partner Over Everything

What Husbands Want From Their Wives

I believe the following characteristics are true for most men, but maybe not all men. What this means is that there are some common ways men are broken or messed up or in need, and there are some common ways a wife can help her husband be what God wants him to be by understanding his flesh patterns. 1. A husband needs a helper. He doesn’t need a wife who nags or scolds or shames. He doesn’t need a wife who complains about him to others or who tries to control him. He needs a wife who will be his ally and his partner. God knew your gaps and He knew your husband’s gaps and He said, “I am going to put the two of you together.” Some of that gap-filling will take some sandpaper, because there are rough edges to get it working. But when it fits, it is a beautiful thing.  There may be gaps in your husband’s life in the area of finances, parenting, taking care of the house or the car, or leading the family spiritually. God said, “Ladies, a man needs help. I gave you to him to be a helper.” 2. A husband needs his wife’s perspective. He doesn’t see 360 degrees. He needs the benefit of your intuition and your insights. He needs you to share your perspective with him humbly and respectfully, and He doesn’t need your harsh, hard judgment or criticism of his failures or mistakes. 3. A husband needs his wife’s support and encouragement. No matter how confident he may appear, men are insecure and have self doubts. He needs his wife to provide support and encouragement. 4. If a husband feels he’s not winning at something, his impulse is not to keep trying, but to quit and spend his time doing things where he can win. He needs to feel like he’s succeeding at the things he’s doing. And that leads to the next point … 5. A husband needs his wife to believe in him and cheer him on. He needs to know that his wife is on his team even if he has just messed up. He needs to know that his wife is with him, no matter what, and that she wants to be part of the solution rather than just pointing out what he did wrong.   We need a cheerleader. He needs to know you love him and you’re going to stay with him no matter what.  6. A husband needs his wife to give him grace and still love him even when he makes mistakes or fails. In other words, a husband needs his wife to respond to him in a way that demonstrates the mercy and grace of God. 7. A husband would rather be respected than loved. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be loved. It just means that respect is huge.  I've observed that many men who do not feel respected at home will try to find respect somewhere else, a business, a hobby, or even in the arms of another woman. Don’t misunderstand me here I’m not excusing infidelity, and I’m not rationalizing the sinful choices of a man. I’m just observing what often happens in marriage.  8. One of the most powerful ways a wife can encourage, affirm, and minister to her husband is by responding to him sexually. I’ve already discussed a man’s need for affirmation and respect; probably the most powerful way you can affirm and respect your husband is when you respond to him sexually. 9. A husband needs his wife to have an unshakable confidence in the goodness and sovereignty of God. This will mean that she will respond to her husband’s leadership. She will not seek to control him or to control things that are in God’s hands. With God, we have to learn to trust Him and surrender to Him. That can sometimes be difficult even though we know that He will never leave us or forsake us, that He has promised good to us, and that He is working all things together for good. It can be much harder to surrender to a husband who is fallible who has demonstrated that he is not perfect and that he doesn’t always have your best interest at heart. The only reason you would surrender control to a husband is because God has directed you to do that, and because He promises to always be with you, even when your husband messes up. Ultimately, it is God who makes it possible for us to honor each other and serve one another and care for each other and forgive each other in marriage. Our differences make it difficult to live in harmony, but God gives us the power to work through those differences with love and humility. You can be the best wife ever, if you determine